Tag: recovery

Empowering Discussions

Walking Downtown in Broad Daylight

Impower You
This is what it’s like to be a tween girl and realize that in our culture, your body doesn’t belong to you.
I understood this when I was in the 5th grade and noticed adult men leering at me, even when I was with my mom or brother, people that I was supposed to feel safe with, I didn’t. I felt exposed and embarrassed.
I have taught self-defense for seven years now. I feel safer to walk alone at night and in shorts. Yet, even just two weeks ago when it was 90 degrees and I chose to wear shorts, I was sexually harassed by a much older man. He was DISGUSTING. I had headphones in my ears to appear as if I wasn’t listening, but I could hear all the gross things he mentioned wanting to do to me. This was not a safe area. I did not feel safe in telling him chinga te. So I waited for the light to change and crossed the street. My stomach felt sick and my heart was so angry. I so wanted to hit that man, but I knew that if I did, I could be considered the assaulter and be arrested. Or worse, he could have hurt me. He was a large man. So I ignored him.
On the same walk at the same time, another younger man was following me on my scooter vying for my attention trying to start a conversation. I ignored him. He wasn’t saying anything rude. but it was clear by the third block I wasn’t talking to him. So at that moment he said ” I know you can hear me” and scootered off. It was annoying, but I wasn’t in the mood to have a conversation with him about how to leave women alone when they are not interested.
It is exhausting being female in this sexist culture we all contribute to creating. This is why I rarely say hello to men when I am walking. It’s why i always try to make eye contact with other women. It’s why I was uncomfortable and often fearful for most of my life to be alone in public. It’s why I don’t have any close straight male friends. I just don’t trust men. Why would I after decades of being sexually harassed?
 If you desire extra support in transforming your life, check out my Dive Deeper Self-Care Challenge.

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for $12 per month.

Empowering Discussions

Money Guilt and Privilege

Impower You
Yesterday I was chatting about earning more money with my friend Clarice Connolly (Check out her awesomeness) and she asked if I had considered dog walking. I jokingly said, after this current dog sit for an anxious dog who glares at me, I would never do it again. What I realized in that moment is I’m done with focusing my energy on jobs that help pay the bills, yet don’t resonate with me and have nada in common with my goals. Another realization was that I have felt very guilty about my privilege of being able to get by when others are less fortunate. My being poor and my guilt doesn’t stop their suffering. It only adds new suffering to our community.
I feel so much joy with my new mindset of earning what I am worth and knowing that if I continue focusing on writing and creative work, I will continue to succeed. Just a few years ago I would only occasionally find odd writing jobs. It was frustrating, but it didn’t need to be. All that time, I have been building my writing portfolio. I simply wasn’t looking at it like that. I am good at it and my client reviews are 4-5 star.
As my perspective shifts I am feeling a shift in my whole body and my heart. It’s wild, I love it an I’m not going back to my old addictions of guilt and poverty.
Check out the previous post on my new definition of rich.

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for $12 per month.

Empowering Discussions

Join the Dive Deeper Self-Care Challenge

Impower You

The Dive Deeper Self Care Challenge has begun! This will be a time to dive into that all the stuff you’ve been avoiding, uncover the roots of your pain or why you’re stuck, and learn how to practice regular self-care for you and your situation. If I can bounce back from a 17 year depression, I believe in others abilities to heal their life. During the challenge, unwanted emotions will arise because that’s what happens when we don’t practice self care or heal our traumas. Trauma lingers withing us until we heal it.

I started this challenge for a few reasons. The first reason is through my own healing and recovery work I’ve learned the importance of regular self-care. Through recovery I have learned that when I didn’t practice often enough I began to feel the negative impact in my daily routine.

The second reason is that many of us hear this message that self-care is about feeling happy and doing anything to make that happen even if its not necessarily good for us, just so we can not feel pain. Things like spending money we don’t have in the instant gratification of retail therapy, or drinking and getting high with friends so we can forget our troubles, or gambling all our spending money on chance and expecting to WIN BIG someday. It could also be working 60 hours a week to earn more money and not focus on what makes us happy from the inside out. These become unhealthy when we don’t use moderation. But by forgetting or ignoring what causes us suffering we are intensifying our problems. This is not self care.

The third reason is to guide those who are desiring to transform their life. This is for you if you really, really, really want to be healthier and love yourself or because you’re sick and tired of being sick and tried. If that’s not enough reasons for you to practice self-care regularly, how about knowing that poor mental health can cause poor physical health and shorten your lifespan.

Are you ready to cultivate a sustainable self-care practice? Are you intrigued and want to learn more? Join me at https://impoweryou.org/divedeeper.

Want to share this with someone who is wanting more self-care in their life? Please do!

Peace and hugs, Leah

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can receive art in the mail every month for only $12 a month.

Empowering Discussions

Forgetting to Be Present in My Self-Care Practice

Impower You
I admit to failing in my self-love practice. I’ve been focusing on what I don’t have and what is unwanted in my life instead of focusing on what is present. A good friend called me out on what I was saying and doing. She has also been through recovery, and said that for her practicing being present on a daily basis is necessary. She is spot on. I’m always asking people if they are practicing self-care regularly. But am I? Yes and no. I practice mindfulness and positive affirmations daily, and remember to eat healthy and move my body. That’s not enough though. I need to think in the present each day. Solely from her reminder about being in the present, my mood changed. On my walk home I focused on what I have and felt the heaviness that was pushing me down lighten quite a bit.
I journal throughout the week too and that is often when I have a breakthrough thought. These aren’t always huge “Ah-Ha!” moments, but they are breakthroughs when I feel muddled. When I journal, I write everything that comes to mind and eventually it all connects together. I highly recommend journaling.
So the next time you feel stuck, do something; journal, talk with a friend, read a favorite book, break out your self-care tools and find something that helps.
 If you want to dive deeper into self-care or are searching for new tools and resources, check out my free D.I.Y. Therapy E-Course. You can go at it on your own, or sign up for free and have weekly lessons emailed to you.

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for a higher contribution.

D.I.Y. Therapy, Journal Prompts, Poetry

Cultivating Support – Journal Prompt

Impower You
As I embark on an adventure in Costa Rica, I have started journaling what I need for the next six weeks. Whether you are going on an adventure or just need more support in your daily life, I encourage you to start journaling. Write and manifest the support you need for your emotional and physical health.
  • What do I need to feel loved?
  • Am I receiving sufficient support from myself?
  • Which of my needs require support from others?
  • Who can I call for support when I feel sad or apathetic?
  • Which people in my network are able to support specific goals?
  • How can I reach out to my support system? Via phone, text, email or in person?
  • How much alone time do I need and how much socializing do I need?
  • Which self-care tools do I enjoy the most?
  • Do I need to set stronger boundaries? If so, where?
These are just a handful of questions that can help you focus on what you need. You don’t have to answer all at once, but the deeper you dive into your self-care/recovery work the more you benefit. This is a journal prompt you can do more than once. Bookmark this page in your journal to remind you that is okay, in fact it is necessary to feel supported and to ask for support when you need it.
Peace and hugs, Leah
If you like this journal prompt, you can read more on my Patreon page.  You can have access to even more once you become a patron. Be sure to check out the rewards you can receive when you pledge $3 or more each month.

I’m an artist and writer on a mission to bring healing arts into the mainstream. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

Like the image above? It’s in my free coloring book, “Peace, Love and Weirdness”. Click Here to Download the Free PDF and color away.

Empowering Discussions

“How to Achieve a Better Body Image”

Impower You

How to Achieve a Better Body Image

By Rae Lawrence

As humans, we all have the tendency to fall prey to struggling with body image.  However, there are ways to overcome this trap and re-learn self love and self acceptance.

  1. Stop avoiding your body

    We know that one way to maintain negative body image is to avoid your body. So, in order to break this cycle, stop the avoidance! Face up to your body and get to know it, lumps, bumps and all. Get used to being with your body. If you usually avoid mirrors, start approaching them. Look at yourself as a whole person – don’t just focus on the bits you don’t like. Try to spend more time naked. Walk around the house nude! Practice touching your body: a good way to do this is to buy some nice moisturizer and rub it all over. Try other activities that you would normally avoid: go to the beach, go clothes shopping, go belly dancing! The more you do to get in contact with and accept your body the way that it is, the more you are likely to develop better body image.

  2. Stop checking

    Some people check rather than avoid, which also perpetuates negative body image. Checking is when people repeatedly check their bodies for evidence of continuing “disgustingness”. A person might study their body in the mirror for hours at a time, or pinch their sides to check on the “fat”. Write a list of your “checking” behaviors. Once you have recognized what you are doing, make a point of refusing to check, or try to cut down. If you have “pinch the fat on my stomach” on your list, and you notice you are doing this 20 times a day, aim to cut down to 15 times, then 10, then five … then stop!

  3. Stop comparing

    One form of “checking” behavior is comparison. This is when you constantly compare your physical attributes to those of other people. It can be challenging to stop negatively comparing yourself to others: for many people, it’s such a habit it is automatic and happens hundreds of times a day. Try to notice when you compare yourself to others and make a note of when you compare, who you compare yourself to, and what you say to yourself when it happens. Is it fair? Is it realistic? What effect does it have on how you feel about yourself? What can you say that may be more helpful?

  4. Check out your assumptions

    People sometimes interpret normal, everyday things as evidence of their “fatness”. For example, a lot of women think that if their thighs or stomachs wobble, this means they are “fat”. In actual fact, wobbliness is a normal female characteristic. We’re made to wobble! For other women, the normal fluid retention that happens when they are premenstrual can be viewed as a “sign” that they are putting on weight. Try to notice what you are assuming to be evidence of “fat”, and look for the facts. This may mean doing a Google search, discussing your assumptions with friends and family, or even asking your GP.

  5. Separate feeling bad from feeling fat

    When you have weight or body image issues, it can be hard to separate feelings from how you feel about your body. For example, if you have a stressful day at work, a fight with your partner and get a parking ticket, you start to feel bad. You may then start to also feel “fat” and unattractive. If you start to feel this way, ask yourself what has triggered this feeling. Try to identify the real issue, and separate it from your body-image issues. Another common experience is for people to feel “fat” after they have eaten. In this instance the trigger is body image-related. When this happens, remind yourself that your weight and appearance was the same before this feeling hit. So, though you may feel different, your weight hasn’t changed.

  6. Practice self acceptance

    Having a negative bod image is like having a critic in your head. The critic is a harsh, derogatory narrative that makes nasty comments about you. For example, “I look disgusting in this outfit” or “I can’t believe how fat I am”. The critic makes you feel awful, because you believe it. Because you feel terrible about yourself, you look for ways to feel better. You may eat something, which gives momentary pleasure, but minutes later the critic is back to comment on how much of a pig you are for eating. The big key to changing negative body image is to kill the critic, and learn self-acceptance. This means accepting yourself as you are. Cognitive techniques are very effective in helping identify and change critical thinking. It can take time, but it’s worth it!

Check out more of Rae Lawrence’s work at http://raelawrence85.wixsite.com/raeacrossamerica & https://www.facebook.com/RaeAcrossAmerica.

Rae is currently a 3rd year doctoral student where she is studying psychology. She aspires to work in the field of forensics. Rae suffered from an eating disorder for 10 years and has been in recovery for nearly 5 years. She finds that she feels her best when she is helping others.

As a result of this, she has created a non-profit organization, Rae Across America, where she creates and hosts several fundraisers per year which raise money to help send individuals in need to eating disorder treatment. Rae and her husband, Ryan, live in Richland, Washington. Together they enjoy hiking, watching football, spending time with their children, visiting family, and traveling.

I’m an artist and writer on a mission to bring healing arts into the mainstream. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon. For as little as $1 a month, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.