Empowering Discussions

Walking Downtown in Broad Daylight

This is what it’s like to be a tween girl and realize that in our culture, your body doesn’t belong to you.
I understood this when I was in the 5th grade and noticed adult men leering at me, even when I was with my mom or brother, people that I was supposed to feel safe with, I didn’t. I felt exposed and embarrassed.
I have taught self-defense for seven years now. I feel safer to walk alone at night and in shorts. Yet, even just two weeks ago when it was 90 degrees and I chose to wear shorts, I was sexually harassed by a much older man. He was DISGUSTING. I had headphones in my ears to appear as if I wasn’t listening, but I could hear all the gross things he mentioned wanting to do to me. This was not a safe area. I did not feel safe in telling him chinga te. So I waited for the light to change and crossed the street. My stomach felt sick and my heart was so angry. I so wanted to hit that man, but I knew that if I did, I could be considered the assaulter and be arrested. Or worse, he could have hurt me. He was a large man. So I ignored him.
On the same walk at the same time, another younger man was following me on my scooter vying for my attention trying to start a conversation. I ignored him. He wasn’t saying anything rude. but it was clear by the third block I wasn’t talking to him. So at that moment he said ” I know you can hear me” and scootered off. It was annoying, but I wasn’t in the mood to have a conversation with him about how to leave women alone when they are not interested.
It is exhausting being female in this sexist culture we all contribute to creating. This is why I rarely say hello to men when I am walking. It’s why i always try to make eye contact with other women. It’s why I was uncomfortable and often fearful for most of my life to be alone in public. It’s why I don’t have any close straight male friends. I just don’t trust men. Why would I after decades of being sexually harassed?

 If you desire extra support in transforming your life, check out my Dive Deeper Self-Care Challenge.

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for $12 per month.

Empowering Discussions

Money Guilt and Privilege

Yesterday I was chatting about earning more money with my friend Clarice Connolly (Check out her awesomeness) and she asked if I had considered dog walking. I jokingly said, after this current dog sit for an anxious dog who glares at me, I would never do it again. What I realized in that moment is I’m done with focusing my energy on jobs that help pay the bills, yet don’t resonate with me and have nada in common with my goals. Another realization was that I have felt very guilty about my privilege of being able to get by when others are less fortunate. My being poor and my guilt doesn’t stop their suffering. It only adds new suffering to our community.
I feel so much joy with my new mindset of earning what I am worth and knowing that if I continue focusing on writing and creative work, I will continue to succeed. Just a few years ago I would only occasionally find odd writing jobs. It was frustrating, but it didn’t need to be. All that time, I have been building my writing portfolio. I simply wasn’t looking at it like that. I am good at it and my client reviews are 4-5 star.
As my perspective shifts I am feeling a shift in my whole body and my heart. It’s wild, I love it an I’m not going back to my old addictions of guilt and poverty.
Check out the previous post on my new definition of rich.


I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for $12 per month.

Empowering Discussions

Transforming the Definition of Being “Rich”

Since August of last year I have been working on changing my money story. Finally, I have a healthy story. What a year! WOW! There were times I really doubted myself, but each time that happened I resumed my practice of self-care, reached out, and returned to challenging myself.
Recently I have felt the physical change. My body feels lighter. I’m no longer worried or fretting over lack. I am at this joyful place. I’m not rich with money yet, but I plan on changing that soon. I’ve also changed my definition of rich from having everything to having enough to afford all the experiences of my personal, authentic life.
I feel a bit like a magical creature in this moment. I feel this way because I know that money was the last major blockage I needed to work through. So yea, I feel magical. I just conquered the last peak of a long climb.
The final push was reading a book with a title that turned me off. But I was bored so I flipped to the first page. I was waiting at my friends casa while she got ready to go out when that first page grabbed me by the shoulders and said “THIS IS MY STORY!” HA! The lesson is don’t judge a book by it’s cover, flip it open. Same can be said for most things I believe.
The book is “You Are a Badass At Making Money” by Jen Sincero.

 


 If you desire extra support in transforming your life, check out my Dive Deeper Self-Care Challenge.

 


I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for a higher contribution.

Empowering Discussions

Forgetting to Be Present in My Self-Care Practice

I admit to failing in my self-love practice. I’ve been focusing on what I don’t have and what is unwanted in my life instead of focusing on what is present. A good friend called me out on what I was saying and doing. She has also been through recovery, and said that for her practicing being present on a daily basis is necessary. She is spot on. I’m always asking people if they are practicing self-care regularly. But am I? Yes and no. I practice mindfulness and positive affirmations daily, and remember to eat healthy and move my body. That’s not enough though. I need to think in the present each day. Solely from her reminder about being in the present, my mood changed. On my walk home I focused on what I have and felt the heaviness that was pushing me down lighten quite a bit.
I journal throughout the week too and that is often when I have a breakthrough thought. These aren’t always huge “Ah-Ha!” moments, but they are breakthroughs when I feel muddled. When I journal, I write everything that comes to mind and eventually it all connects together. I highly recommend journaling.
So the next time you feel stuck, do something; journal, talk with a friend, read a favorite book, break out your self-care tools and find something that helps.
 If you want to dive deeper into self-care or are searching for new tools and resources, check out my free D.I.Y. Therapy E-Course. You can go at it on your own, or sign up for free and have weekly lessons emailed to you.

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for a higher contribution.

Empowering Discussions

We The Lonely People

I love myself completely, totally, fully.
My self love practice includes learning about the parts of my heart I don’t understand. It’s not an enjoyable process, but I know from experience that it creates more peace in my life.
Is your self-love practice more than manicures and meditation?  Are you stretching yourself?
I know how difficult it is when you don’t have a support group close by. Mine is quite scattered. I feel lonely very often, but I know that I am worth the moon and the stars. We, the lonely people need and deserve to love ourselves completely, totally, fully as much as anyone does. Keep trying and I will hold your heart in my heart.
 If you desire extra support, check out my free D.I.Y. Therapy E-Course to dive deeper into self-care.

 


I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

*You can also receive also receive art in the mail for a higher contribution.

Empowering Discussions

My First Book Is Published!

YAY!! I am so excited to finally have published my first book. This journey has shown me that life is wonderful again!

The book is titled “I Am More Than Just A Girl; Empowered. Informed. Equal.” and gives young women information to make educated decisions about their lives. The book is interactive and includes topics like respect, confidence, self defense, sexual assault and domestic violence. There are fun projects, journal pages and exercises for girls to empower themselves and lean about euqality.

Preview my book here, http://www.bookemon.com/read-book/150828 and if you know any young women ages 14 or older or parents of a girl, please share the book with them.