Empowering Discussions

How to Tell if a Woman is a Bitch

It’s not always easy to spot a bitch, but once you know what to look for it becomes easier to identify, label and put a woman in a box.
1. She stands up for herself and others. Think Harriet Tubman or Wilma Mankiller.
2. She doesn’t care about your opinion of how she should dress or that you want her to smile. Think Serena Williams or Angelina Jolie.
3. She is comfortable with her sexuality, even if it doesn’t exist in a standard form.
4. She is a feminist who publicly speaks for equality. Think Margaret Cho or Jessica Williams.
Now you now how to spot a bitch. What did I miss? Leave a comment below about how you are a bitch or a bitch you admire.
 I have a seesaw relationship with “bitch”. I don’t like the negative connotations, but at the same time it offends me less and less as I really don’t care about a word holding that much power over me. I get called a bitch when I’m walking down the street and ignore the men who sexually harass me. I get called a bitch by internet trolls when I speak for compassion, and by men who don’t understand my NO is as valid as their yes. I was often called a bitch in school when I stood up for myself or talked back to boys and girls. So, yes I am a bitch most of the time and I have no problem with that.

You deserve to love yourself completely, totally, fully as much as anyone does. Keep healing and I will hold your heart in my heart. If you desire extra support to stay on top of your self-care practice, check out my 30 day challenge Dive Deeper Into Self-Care.

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.

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Social Action

It’s time to leave this relationship

How do you know when it is time to leave? Ask someone who left her abuser. This is a great post that highlights acts of emotional abuse. http://krishannah.wordpress.com/2013/07/26/emotional-abuse-is-more-than-just-yelling/

If someone says they “love you, BUT..”, that “but” is a warning sign. If they threaten you with a nasty custody battle, that is another warning sign. Please read this post and educate yourself on how to notice the warning signs of abuse. If you are in a bad relationship and need to leave call the national DV hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. It may be time to leave.


Social Action

Don’t Blame Me

So you were raised and taught to treat women like crap?
Too bad!

Along the way you picked up this habit of harassing women and expecting them to submit to your whims, wishes and will.
HA! What a shame!

How pathetic that you choose to act so rude, to follow a path of anger and disrespect towards half the world. You say “It’s not my fault! I only had male role models that acted the same way”.

Turn on the TV and you would see men treating women with respect, kindness and compassion. You could read a book about men that fought for women’s rights.

You CHOOSE to be awful. Don’t give me any more excuses, You are an adult now, you can see what is right and wrong. You can choose to act with repsect.

Don’t talk to me like that! Don’t call me a slut. I am not your baby your whore, a cunt. I have no interest in you so leave me alone. I owe you nothing. I am not the weak one, you are. Be a man, treat women with respect. Make a decision. It has always been your choice.


Empowering Discussions, Social Action

Don’t Rape Me

I am in love with the message on this shirt. It says “DON’T TELL ME WHAT NOT TO WEAR. TELL PEOPLE NOT TO RAPE” http://www.becausewemust.org/new-shirt-dont-tell-me/

It’s direct, and to the point. I like a message that is very clear. Funny puns are great, but straight up telling people clearly what you want works even better!

This morning I designed a poster for domestic violence awareness. I was inspired by all those tough little girls on the playgorund that double dare and double dog dare each other to do something crazy, to be brave and have fun.

Buy this mini poster at my gift shop, http://www.zazzle.com/love_is_not_supposed_to_hurt_poster-228426404623743277🙂

Empowering Discussions

My First Book Is Published!

YAY!! I am so excited to finally have published my first book. This journey has shown me that life is wonderful again!

The book is titled “I Am More Than Just A Girl; Empowered. Informed. Equal.” and gives young women information to make educated decisions about their lives. The book is interactive and includes topics like respect, confidence, self defense, sexual assault and domestic violence. There are fun projects, journal pages and exercises for girls to empower themselves and lean about euqality.

Preview my book here, http://www.bookemon.com/read-book/150828 and if you know any young women ages 14 or older or parents of a girl, please share the book with them.

Empowering Discussions

Bad news for you bunny lovers

Wearing a Playboy bunny on your clothing or accessories does not empower you. It simply makes a statement that you think it is fine for women to pose nude so men(who have been taught females simply be nude to be sexy) can sit in the office and get off to pictures and objectify women. If it doesn’t gross you out of someone your grandpas age having sex with multiple young women whom he doesn’t care about, than how about his lack of respect for a whole gender.

Hugh Hefner is not a person who wants to empower women. In a 1967 interview,he explained the ways in which women were like rabbits. The bunny “has a sexual meaning”, he said, “because it’s a fresh animal, shy, vivacious, jumping – sexy. First it smells you, then it escapes, then it comes back, and you feel like caressing it, playing with it. A girl resembles a bunny. Joyful, joking.” I’ve never “escaped”from a man and then ran back to him so I find the analogy to be simply continuing a patriarchal view.

Yes it is true that Hugh was a large contributor to Roe. Vs. Wade, the ruling that gave women the right to a safe legal abortion. Big deal! Of course he wants women to have the right to safe birth control and abortions. How else could he afford to pay the bills of all the women he would get pregnant.

You may defend Playboy saying that a woman runs it. Well I hate to be the bearer of more bad news, but women are not perfect. This is his daughter, Christie Hefner who is the company president. Seeing as she grew up with him as her father I wouldn’t put much stock in her choice to “empower” women. She makes a lot of money objectifying women.

We live in a world where it is the norm for women to be disrespected, used, raped, thrown away, burned, killed and hated by men simply because they have a vagina. There is inherent violence in pornography towards men and women, but generally it is women who are to be submissive. The popularity of rape fantasy should disturb all people despite gender.

So the bottom line is when you spend money on Playboy merchandise you are voting with your dollar that pornography is much needed in our world. It isn’t just bunny heads, but everything you spend YOUR money on you are voting for that organization to grow, to expand, to degrade anyone that can create more money for them. Need a more popular comparison? It is just like listening to Fox news, CNN, or any biased news source and paying their bills so they can make more money with advertisers.

Empowering Discussions

What does it mean to be female in our world?

It means you have the power to give life. Sure it takes a man and a woman to create life, but women are the people who are accountable for bringing a child into our world. You are a giver of life and you have the power to teach your children that they are beautiful loved and equal in your eyes. Women are more likely to stay at home and nurture a child and spend more time with them than the father. This is an inconvenient truth (Though there is no reason for men to not spend time nurturing a child after they have left the womb. In fact we need more men to nurture their children).

It means you can be raped by a man and told that it is your fault. Or maybe you are told that that person couldn’t control themselves. Well that is just not true. Rapists are not poor troubled boys or disturbed men. Rapists are people who want to control and inflict pain on another person. So it also means that you can fight back. You are NOT a victim. You deserve to be treated with respect and you have a right to say NO!

It means you are strong! You are equal to a man. You are not less, you are not better. You are equal. Perhaps your family, your religion and your culture tell you that you are less and nothing more than an object, but that is just not true. You are capable of being amazing! You can change the world or change your community. You can be a scientist, a writer, a director, a CEO, a mother. You can be whatever you want to be. Always listen to mind and never listen to a world that says you are less than equal.

It means you are beautiful. Your eyes, your hair, the color of your skin, your weight, your height. These make you beautiful and unique. You are beautiful without makeup, with frizzy hair, with freckles, with a few extra pounds or a lack of curves. You are most beautiful when you laugh and when you smile. Don’t believe the hype that you need to look plastic perfect. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

More here: mpwru.webs.com

What does being a female in our world mean to you?