Category: Self Defense

D.I.Y. Therapy, Self Defense

D.I.Y. Therapy: Are You Afraid To Communicate?

Impower You

A major blockade in depression is communication. It’s difficult to communicate unhappiness with family and friends, especially when it feels all-encompassing. You might began to feel like a burden to others if you are consistently unhappy.  After a while I was tired of my own depression, but I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings. A while back I began working on my communication skills and felt like I was making real progress, so I stopped when I felt like I had learned what I needed. I should have continued.

After quite an awful spring I was beginning to feel so depressed that I treated a friend rather badly (read my post on regret) and put serious strain on our relationship. This summer I learned that I still need a lot of work in regards to communication. Healthy communication is a skill I must be and want to be aware of on a regular basis.

“Communicate with compassion and openness. Holding questions, concerns and anger inside is unhealthy.”

When I asked myself why I am afraid to communicate, these were my answers.

  • People won’t care.
  • People will be mean or take advantage of me.
  • I will be a burden to others.
  • I will look weak.
  • It’s not necessary to share.
  • I should be able to handle problems on my own.
  • I don’t actually want to follow through or move forward on what I’m not communicating!

None of these are valid reasons, but I have convinced myself they are. So now that I’m aware of why I don’t want to communicate I can choose to not allow fear or doubt to guide my decisions.

Why are you afraid of communicating?

** Read more D.I.Y. Therapy Posts. **

Or get your very own D.I.Y. Therapy book.

Have you ever wondered what you could do -what possibilities would open up- if you didn’t feel overwhelmed by depression?

“D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression” is available through Amazon; available as both an e-book and a paperback.

If you’re suffering from depression I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you can’t afford a therapist find a supportive mentor, teacher or healer who can help you discover inner peace. Healing is possible IF you are open and willing to commit to a self-care plan.

Want more? Print and enjoy my FREE COLORING BOOKS!

Download free books on ImpowerYou!

peace love weirdness coloring book

“Peace, Love & Weirdness” is an offbeat collection of my original illustrations and affirmations.

Grab your free copy on the Coloring Book page. 

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more than a girl book

“More Than Just a Girl” helps tween girls build confidence with information, creative activities and loving acceptance.

Grab your free copy on the More Than a Girl page.

Self Defense

Self Defense: Free Speech Vs. Hate Speech

Impower You

I still remember how scared I was at school for the many years I was bullied. It can be absolutely terrifying to have a group of people be so cruel because they are so full of spite and anger. Though I’ve grown older and found healing I’m often reminded of that part of my journey like recently after watching a video about trolls who used Twitter to viciously attack Leslie Jones, one of my favorite comedians.

In an interview with Seth Meyers she did a great job of explaining what happened and how hurt she felt. Thankfully she received some justice when she complained to Twitter about the hate. Complaining doesn’t always work, but luckily after some time she was able to convince Twitter to take action and the company closed the accounts of some very hateful, dangerous people. But it didn’t end there, Leslie was then confronted with complaints that she was impeding on free speech! Her response to that foolishness was on point when she said, “Freedom of speech and hate speech are two different things.” I’ve been saying this for years and always feel a sense of comfort and optimism about our human race when someone else says it. Check out her two-minute interview here, https://youtu.be/5KxhU_yZLG8. For a little more background info on the situation, read this article, http://www.thewrap.com/ghostbusters-leslie-jones-racist-twitter-trolls-tears-this-hurts-me/

Classifying hate and threats of violence as free speech is dangerous. Why is our society so worried about impeding on someones right to speak that we allow so much hate to exist without allowing ourselves the right to a reaction. Whether it’s flat-out hate crime speech or something less poisonous like hurtful gossip, we should all be much more confident in vocalizing that hate speech in any form is not okay. When we don’t do speak up and comment, the trolls win and we all lose. This is the same in regards to self-defense. People aren’t always super clear in their threats or bullying, but if you feel like you’re being bullied please speak up. By doing so you may be able to stop them before they really hurt you or someone else.

If you need help learning healthy communication skills check out my problem solving page.

– – – – – – 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 – – – – –

Download free books on ImpowerYou!

peace love weirdness coloring book

“Peace, Love & Weirdness” is an offbeat collection of my original illustrations and affirmations.

Grab your free copy on the Coloring Book page. 

***

more than a girl book

“More Than Just a Girl” helps girls build confidence with information, creative activities and loving acceptance.

Grab your free copy on the More Than a Girl page.

Self Defense

Self-Defense: The Mistakes Of Teaching Violence “Prevention” to Women and Girls

Impower You

textgram_1449536544“Prevention” is a word thrown around a lot in regards to self-defense. I really don’t like using it when I teach a class. Most prevention advice delves into ridiculous victim blame and only encourages females to feel fear. The advice goes something like this:

“Don’t flirt too much, don’t wear revealing clothing at a party and don’t go out at night alone or if you do, don’t drink, but if you are drinking watch you drink closely, don’t accept drinks from anybody and never leave your girlfriends and never go home with anybody because if you do, it’s your fault for leading them on.”

The real prevention we need to teach is not about being afraid of doing what you want and rarely is it about changing your own habits; it’s about awareness.

Women are more likely to be assaulted by someone they know, a romantic partner, a stalker or coworker. So how can we create safer spaces? By being aware of those around us whether they are close friends or casual acquaintances, both male and female.

  • Pay close attention to how friends treat you AND others.
  • Are they condescending toward you?
  • Do they ask or bully you to do things you don’t want?
  • Do YOU force yourself to change around them so they like you?
  • Do they mock feminism or often joke about women being the weaker sex?
  • Do they insist that rape culture doesn’t exist or that women really should “be careful what they wear or drink”?
  • Do they refuse to acknowledge media objectification of women and find these images “good” entertainment?

Being aware allows us to learn to trust our intuition and as we do so allow our true self to shine through. Because once we are aware of what we’ve learned to ignore and how often we blame ourselves we become stronger.

Sexism fuels violence against women. It gets worse every time we pretend hurtful words are okay and make excuses like, “Boys will be boys”. Our culture enforces many ideas about women being less than men. In this sphere is the idea that we are at fault for being assaulted or raped. It’s pushed forward by those with agendas, fundamental religious dogma and advertising agencies. So much of prevention is dependent upon who surrounds us. It’s what we put up with, what we expect from others and whether or not we are willing to speak up, say no and not put up with ideas and stereotypes that feed this harmful vision of women as less than men.

The other side of prevention, and the most powerful of course will be teaching men and boys how to become aware of how they treat women and girls. No matter how much women work to create change it’s critical that our males change evolve as well.

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Enter this free giveaway on Facebook!

When teaching self-defense I always stress the importance of striking vital points! If you gouge the eyes they can’t see where you move next, if you dig your nails into their ears and yank down they suffer tremendous pain, if you punch the solar plexus their breath is taken away and if you “pick the peaches” (grab, twist and pull on the testes) you can bring them to their knees giving you a chance to run for help and call the police. Read more Self-Defense Articles on this blog.

Be aware, don’t live in fear.

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I’m a certified self-defense instructor and encourage all women and girls to know their lives are important. You can learn more on the SELF-DEFENSE page. Please share this with your friends. Together we can create safer spaces.

Find INSPIRING books on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

See my ART onZazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

 Dealing with DEPRESSION? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

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Self Defense

Win FREE SELF-DEFENSE Products in My Winter Giveaway! – Empowering and Educating Women and Youth.

Impower You

Win self-defense products in my winter giveaway!

giveaway contest
*No purchase necessary.*

This event has 4 main goals!

1. GIVEAWAY – Write a comment on the EVENT PAGE(https://www.facebook.com/events/197475473923357/) between now and January 5, 2016 and you will be ENTERED TO WIN either 1 Kubaton Keychain or 1 Personal Alarm Flashlight. Only ships in the USA.

2. COMMUNITY SUPPORT – I’ll donate 10% of my profits to the Women’s Resource Center. This wonderful organization offers resources and support to women, children and men who are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. These crimes do not discriminate!
**BONUS: Every order over $100 automatically will receive for free, their choice of the keychain or alarm flashlight.

3. EDUCATE – As a self-defense instructor and survivor of violence, it is my mission in life to raise awareness about the importance of self-defense and ways we can end violence in or communities.

4. FREE SELF-DEFENSE CLASSES – The main reason I became a Damsel in Defense Rep is to fund FREE classes for women and youth.

“WHY?”

I LOVE teaching self defense. Between experiencing violence in my youth, working at a resource center for DV and SA and the stories students share with me, teaching self defense has become my purpose.

I also love keeping my classes FREE.

With support from you and other friends I became a Damsel in Defense representative this autumn. Now I have the opportunity to fund my free classes by selling personal alarms, fashlights, pepper spray, stun guns, keychains and other personal safety products.

My goal is to receive at least 10 orders between now and January 5. Will you help me reach my goal by inviting your family and friends to this event!
Start *shopping now at http://www.mydamselpro.net/PRO9927/shop/CATALOG.aspx

*It’s advisable to shop on a laptop or computer. Phones and tablets can be difficult.

Be sure to invite your family and friends who would benefit from self-defense awareness.

FYI:  Comments for the giveaway must appear on the Facebook event page, https://www.facebook.com/events/197475473923357/

I’m a certified self-defense instructor and encourage all women and girls to know their lives are important. You can learn more on the SELF-DEFENSE page. Please share this with your friends. Together we can create safer spaces.

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personal-protection2

Find INSPIRING books on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

See my ART onZazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

 Dealing with DEPRESSION? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

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Self Defense

Self-Defense Video: How to Escape a Rear Choke!

Impower You

You DESERVE to fight back! This instructional video shows what to do if someone tries to choke you from behind. There are four parts to this move. Grab the arm, tuck your chin, bend forward and use your arm to push them to the ground.

When teaching self-defense I always stress the importance of striking vital points! If you gouge the eyes they can’t see where you move next, if you dig your nails into their ears and yank down they suffer tremendous pain, if you punch the solar plexus their breath is taken away and if you “pick the peaches” (grab, twist and pull on the testes) you can bring them to their knees giving you a chance to run for heLp and call the police. Read more Self-Defense Articles.

Be aware, don’t live in fear.

The Holla-Her Alarm & Flashlight is FREE when you puprchase $75 or more from my store. Click on the image below.

personal-protection2

 

I’m a certified self-defense instructor and encourage all women and girls to know their lives are important. You can learn more on the SELF-DEFENSE page. Please share this with your friends. Together we can create safer spaces.

Find INSPIRING books on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

See my ART onZazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

 Dealing with DEPRESSION? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

*** *** **

Ads directly below this post are not endorsed by this blog.

Self Defense

Self-Defense Video: How to Grab the Pinky and Thumb to Knock Down An Attacker

Impower You

This is a really simple move that just about anyone can maneuver. Grab the pinkie and thumb and twist them away from you! YOU MATTER! Your life is worth defending. Don’t live in fear, be aware.

When I teach self-defense I always stress the importance of vital points! If you gouge the eyes they can’t see where you move next, if you dig your nails into their ears and yank down they suffer tremendous pain, if you punch the solar plexus their breath is taken away and if you “pick the peaches” (grab, twist and pull on the testes) you can bring them to their knees giving you a chance to run for heLp and call the police. Read more Self-Defense Articles.

 

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Find EMPOWERING books on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

Browse UNIQUE art and gifts on Zazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

 Tired of feeling DEPRESSED? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

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Self Defense

The 5 Most Powerful Self Defense Weapons Every Woman and Girl Should Know

Impower You

Not everyone has access to pepper spray or a stun gun and even if we do, its unlikely we ALWAYS have it on us and ready to use. That’s why it’s imperative to be aware of common items that can be used for self-defense. Look around you at work, school, on your lunch break, at home, in new places and take a quick glance at what can be used to defend yourself in case of an attack. Don’t obsess over this, just be aware.

Be aware, don’t live in fear.

Weapon #1: Flashlight 

I never thought much about something so simple being such a gift. If you’re like me and not likely to throw a punch or carry a gun than consider a bright LED flashlight to carry with you and keep in your car. If you are assaulted, use it to shine a bright light in your attackers eyes to blind them. Then you can either run away or use the diversion to get out of their grip and strike back.

The Holla-Her Alarm & Flashlight

Weapon #2: Perfume or Hairspray

Use perfume or hairspray just as you would pepper spray and aim for an attackers eyes to cause irritation and temporary blindness. It’s not as strong as pepper spray, but it can cause burning and blurred vision giving you a chance to strike back or flee to safety.

 

Weapon #3: Hairbrush

Grate some hard plastic bristles or even soft bristles to SCRATCH across an attackers eyes and then use the blunt end to hammer strike! Remember to strike the 9 Most Vulnerable Spots on the body.

 

Weapon #4: Keychain

Strike anywhere on the body to cause pain, but preferably the face. Make sure you hold your keychain in your fist. I used to put keys in between each finger, like a pointy knuckle sandwich. Unfortunately I learned that’s a very painful way to hit someone as it scratches up your fingers and could even break a finger! So just hold keys inside your fist and strike! Personally I love my kubaton keychain which is pictured below. It’s metal, has a blunt end and grooves for my fingers.

Sock it to Me Kubaton Keychain
Sock it to Me Kubaton Keychain

Weapon #5: Water bottle or Hot Coffee

Hit an attacker with a stainless steel or glass water bottle and they will be seeing stars.  Or maybe you just left the cafe with a hot coffee for a walk home in the cool autumn weather? Swiftly pull off the lid and throw the hot liquid in an assailants face. This should give you enough time to get away and yell for help. Hey you paid $5 for that coffee you should SCREAM! 😉

 

BONUS WEAPON: The most powerful weapon isn’t a thing it’s ‘thinking fast’.

Look around you, consider what you can use to defend yourself. Look for escape routes, for weak points, for a phone, for people who may be able to help you. By staying aware of your surroundings you are more likely to survive an assault. Remember that you matter and deserve to fight back!  

I’m a certified self-defense instructor and encourage all women and girls to know their lives are important. You can learn more on the SELF-DEFENSE page. Please share this with your friends. Together we can create safer spaces.

 

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personal-protection2

Find INSPIRING books on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

See my ART onZazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

 Dealing with DEPRESSION? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

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Self Defense

Do Stun Guns Actually Work? This Man Shares His Experience Getting STUNNED!

Impower You

I’ve often wondered what would happen if I got stunned. So far I’m too afraid to find out. Luckily there are people out there willing to be shocked, like the man in this video.

When using a stun gun try to aim for the neck, torso or hips. Depending on the size of the person they will be unable to move for 5-30 minutes. These days most stun guns are equipped with a safety pin tha wraps around your wrist. This way if it’s taken away from you the pin will be instantly removed and the stun gun cannot be used against you.

If you own a stun gun, it’s important to practice holding, it, turning it on, and pulling it out of your holster or pocket.  When practicing be sure to only allow the volts to flash for a second. If you hold it on for too long and it’s not touching someone it will burn out and be useless. However when you’re defending yourself against an attacker hold it against their body until they fall down. If you want to arm yourself with a stun gun please check out my shop MyDamselPro.net/Pro9927

DO YOU HAVE A STUN GUN? IF SO, HAVE YOU USED IT AND WAS IT HELPFUL?

If you’d like to see more self-defense videos, subscribe to this blog(upper right corner) or join my free virtual event on Facebook.com/events/901132366636211/903743413041773

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Be aware, don’t live in fear!

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Find inspiring books I wrote on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

Looking for books that support your personal development? Read my book reviews.

Check out my T-shirt and greeting card designs on Zazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

Want ideas for a healthy lifestyle free of depression? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

*If you like this blog share it…

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Self Defense

Retro Self- Defense: How Women Fought in the 1940’s!

Impower You

You may have seen this video making the rounds on social media. I have seen it a few times and LOVE it!  Made in 1947 it shows an average sized woman consistently flipping, knocking and pulling down a larger muscular male “attacker”.  While I’m not sure I could flip someone over my back like she did, some of these moves are spot on.

 

Did you see that move where she bent over, grabbed his leg, pulled him off-balance and then twisted his ankle putting her in the position of power? That was amazing.

Throughout the video she shows that technique can be as helpful as strength. She grabs his hair to control where his head goes, yanks his arms in unnatural positions, pins him down and uses his momentum to throw him off of her.

When I teach self-defense I always stress the importance of vital points! If you gouge the eyes they can’t see where you move next, if you dig your nails into their ears they suffer tremendous pain, if you punch the solar plexus their breath is taken away and if you “pick the peaches” (grab, twist and pull on the testes) you can bring them to their knees giving you a chance to run for heLp and call the police.

WHICH MOVE FROM THE VIDEO DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO?

YOU MATTER! Yor life is worth defending. Don’t live in fear, be aware.

If you’d like to see more self-defense videos, subscribe to this blog(in the upper right corner) or join my free virtual event on Facebook.com/events/901132366636211/903743413041773

12119046_10205001644747689_1431743476313246726_n
Be aware, don’t live in fear!

If you want to arm yourself with personal safety products please check out my shop MyDamselPro.net/Pro9927

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Find inspiring books I wrote on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

Looking for books that support your personal development? Read my book reviews.

Check out my T-shirt and greeting card designs on Zazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

Want ideas for a healthy lifestyle free of depression? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

*If you like this blog share it…

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UTY.cover.2.we.will.changeFight.Back.New.Kindle.Cover

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Self Defense

From Distress to Defense: Teaching Princesses To Be Their Own Knight in Shining Armor!

Impower You

You can’t make it through childhood without consuming images of girls as the weaker sex and fairy tales of girls as princesses and boys as knights in shining armor. As girls we are taught to wait for someone stronger, someone with a Y chromosome, to save us. Even as media has progressed, these misleading images continue to dominate our entertainment landscape and distort young minds. I was lucky to have a strong independent, take no BS mom and other strong female role models who encouraged me to be independent. Even so the damage had been done. Peer pressure to be ‘girly’ and mass media continued to counteract their words. From girlhood to adulthood I wrongly believed that I couldn’t save myself. For so long I waited, hopefully hopeless in a fearful state. Nobody ever came to save me. Years after the physical violence ended, mentally I was still waiting for a hero to help me. Eventually the former fiery girl inside of me began to reemerge and hesitantly began dissecting the messages I had been consuming. I learned that the only one who could save me was me.

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I often get asked why or how I became a self-defense instructor and most people expect me to answer that I’m a student of martial arts, but that’s not my story. I trained to become a certified instructor from an ongoing frustration that oppression and violence against women was rampant. After years of shrinking away from violence in my youth and allowing much of my adult life to be controlled by fear an unexpected job changed my direction and gave me hope. I found a job at a center helping victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Both of those experiences planted the seeds of working in prevention. Teaching women to be stronger has now become my purpose. I finally shed the image of a princess in waiting.

Since 2012 I’ve been teaching self-defense to women and girls. Initially I charged a fee for participants, but then I started teaching free classes to a local LGBTQ center and that experience led me to make all my classes free. My reasoning to keep it free is so that nobody feels like they can’t afford to learn one of the most valuable skills that ALL women need to learn. I’m not a fan of violence and wish it didn’t exist, but until the day when violence against women is no longer so rampant teaching others will be my gift to the world.

Free however doesn’t cover the costs of padding, props, materials, transportation, ongoing training and outreach for my classes so last month I became a Damsel In Defense representative. Through this company I can earn money to cover costs by selling personal safety products. I can now show women how to use stun guns, pepper spray and personal alarms along with my free self-defense classes. There will be situations where women are unable to fight off an attacker so spraying their eyes with pepper or sounding a loud alarm to get help is necessary.

While there is a valid argument that encouraging women to arm themselves in case of an attack is a form of victim blame, “If only you had pepper spray you could have escaped”; the sad fact is that violence against women is a REAL problem. It hasn’t gone away and it is a global epidemic. Victim blame is not at all my intention, I feel for anyone who has been attacked and know from personal experience the dangerous path where victim blame leads. I know that violence is not the victims fault. I always tell participants in my class that violence is a choice, a terrible choice made out of free will. It is never the victims fault.  I sell these products and teach self-defense out of a deep longing for women to be safer, to actually BE stronger. Part of that is feeling safe against the statistics that 1 in 5 women (and 1 in 7 men) have been victims of domestic violence. Violence against women, violence in general, is a serious problem and won’t be going away anytime soon.

So what do you think?  Are you going to be a princess waiting for a knight in shining armor or become your own?

If you want to arm yourself with personal safety products please check out my shop MyDamselPro.net/Pro9927

personal-protection2
Available at MyDamselPro.net/Pro9927

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Find inspiring books I wrote on Amazon.com and Bookemon.com.

Looking for books that support your personal development? Read my book reviews.

Check out my T-shirt and greeting card designs on Zazzle.com/OviedoStyle.

Want ideas for a healthy lifestyle free of depression? Read my D.I.Y. Therapy posts.

*If you like this blog share it…

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UTY.cover.2.we.will.changeFight.Back.New.Kindle.Cover

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