Healing through art & therapy! I used to be depressed and codependent with very low self worth and many unhealthy habits. But several years ago I started the healing process and am sharing what I learned with gratitude and hope for each of us. Peace & hugs, Leah
On Saturday, January 23, you’re invited to “Go Into the Darkness: An Emotional Exploration” a workshop hosted by Michelle Minero, MFT and Emelina Minero.
Further exploring some of the prompts from the 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge, You Will:
Learn the gifts of your darkness.
Experience the healing power of sharing and being witnessed.
Liberate yourself through emotional honesty and vulnerability.
This event is hosted at Qulture Collective, a multi-use and community space in downtown Oakland serving the LGBTQIA+ and allied community with a focus on building visibility for queer and trans people of color.
Location: Qulture Collective, 1714 Franklin St. Oakland, CA 94612, 510-419-0552 When: Saturday, January 23, 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Cost: $50
Have you ever started the new year off with a resolution to go on a diet, lose those extra pounds, and start exercising regularly? If so, you have joined countless others who make losing weight their number one focus. Perhaps you’ve also joined them in being unable to keep the resolution continuously for even one week! A 1989 study by John C. Norcross of the University of Scranton shows that 77 percent of people who made these new year’s resolutions had been able to keep their commitments “continuously for one week” (that’s not very long!). Follow-up research by Norcross in 2002 put the figure at 71 percent for one and two weeks.
What’s going on when over 3/4 of the population who have weight loss as their new year’s resolution quit after the first week or two?
Could it be that focusing on weight loss is not the answer to having a great new year? Changing our outsides has nothing to do with improving our life. Our appearance does not change who we are on the inside.
What if weight loss wasn’t on your list? What would happen if you had an inner focus? How would your life be different if you decided to focus on loving your self and your body?
For some of you, that may sound like a tall order, but I have some good news for you. There are a growing number of people who are doing just that!
2016 marks the 6th Annual 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge. When my daughter Emelina and I began this Facebook challenge in 2010, there were 3 people writing, and two of them were Emelina and me! Now we have over 500 Love Warriors from around the world, many who come back each year. The amazing and inspiring thing to witness is the profound changes that have happened from simply joining others on a similar quest and having the intention to write daily for 31 days.
Our writing challenge does not replace therapy, but it is healing. James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas instructed students to write 15 minutes a day about an important personal issue. His control group wrote 15 minutes a day about random, superficial topics. At the end of the experiment the students who wrote about issues of relevance had fewer illnesses and visits to the student health center than the control group.
I began my Self-Love Diet in earnest in 2004, the same year I began writing my book, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works. Before my daily writing, I thought I was doing well. I am a psychotherapist who specializes in helping people recover from eating disorders, and I have had success in this field. During the years I began my writing practice, I was surprised I had so many critical thoughts about my body, abilities, and decisions. These critical thoughts had become the backdrop to my daily thoughts, just under my awareness. When I began consciously working to change each critical thought, it felt like a full-time job! It became clear that committing to self-love is not for the weak of heart!
In fact, I believe we need to be warriors, Love Warriors, if we are to combat the billion dollar diet, exercise, and health industry that benefits from us feeling less than and telling us that their products will make us into the current culturally sanctioned ideal (which continuously changes, along with the scientific evidence for what helps us to lose weight!). I found myself needing to be a warrior in order to fight this uphill battle. I needed to declare that the number on the scale is not related to my happiness, joy, contentment, inner peace, or my value, not unless I let it.
Can someone go from hating themselves and their body to loving themselves and their body in 31 days? Yes, and No.
Yes: because we’ve read people’s experience of telling their bodies that they love them for the first time in their lives. Others have committed to catching negative thoughts and using the 5-step process to turn their critical thoughts around. One husband of a participant shared with us his gratitude for this annual writing challenge and credited it with brining in emotional honesty and expression of feelings into his relationship with his wife.
No: because it’s not that simple. The intention of loving one’s self is not something you can put on a to-do-list and check off. It’s an ongoing commitment to yourself, it’s a journey, a daily practice of regularly offering yourself love until it becomes what you do and who you are.
Resolutions maintained through the first week: 75% success
Past two weeks: 71% success
Past one month: 64% success
Past six months: 46% success
As we can see by the above data, as time goes on, people’s resolutions wane. But there is good news. People who made resolutions were 10 times more likely to keep them after six months than those who didn’t follow the annual tradition.
So are you willing to join us Love Warriors and revolutionize this traditional diet mentality focused New Year’s Resolution ritual?
I hope so, because there’s so much more to life than being successful or unsuccessful in losing weight. And, research shows that people who go on cyclical diets actually gain weight over time.
You may notice I am adverse to dieting. So you may wonder why I wrote a book titled, Self-Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works?
Here’s why: When I began writing my book, I discovered a definition for the word diet that changed my whole perspective.
The third definition was, “things regularly offered.” That definition is 180 degrees opposite of what most people think of when they hear the word diet. In the past, the word diet meant to me what I could not have, what I needed to restrict, refrain, and restrain myself from. I thought of diets as focusing on losing weight, counting calories, depriving myself of the foods I loved, being tough with myself, whipping myself into shape, and using willpower to change my behaviors. It never occurred to me that the word could mean something that I regularly offered myself!
Then the next question came to mind: What if I regularly offered myself love? How would my life be different? There you have the beginning question that became the Self-Love Diet approach to spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, relational, cultural, and global health.
So are you willing to join us and try something new with other dedicated people who are searching for guidance on self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love?
Today is day 12 of the 31 Day Self-Love Writing Challenge hosted by Michelle and Emelina Minero. This is one of the most important questions to answer for me because it leads to recognition of what I need most for my present and my future.
Self love means placing self-care above negative thoughts, unhealthy cravings and easy fixes.
It means using gentle self-talk when I feel lost, sad or can’t appreciate “where I am and what I have”.
Self love is putting forth effort to care for myself daily. It is holding myself accountable to my actions for the reaction to my choices.
Self love invoLves compassion, forgiveness, release of regrets, discipline, focus, belief in myself. It means following MY dreams and living in a way that is HEALTHY for my individual needs. Self love is unconditional. I need self-love ever moment of every day.
WHAT DOES SELF-LOVE MEAN TO YOU?
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What a wonderful world it feels like when I can remember to stop and create art.
I created this just before the New Year out of pine needles, juniper berries, yellow berries and moss. Creating art outside in nature is so balancing. I love to take walks in the park and stop to create art out of leaves, flowers, pine cones, rocks, twigs or even litter. I become so absorbed in the process that I rarely notice when someone has stopped out of curiosity to watch me.
In my youth I devoured books and became lost in worlds beyond my own. It didn’t matter if the stories were fake or real. I was just as absorbed reading about fictitious characters like Pippi Longstocking or Nancy Drew as I was by the courage of real life stories like Ruby Bridges, Pocahontas and Anne Frank.
My mother loved to read and encouraged me to read books well beyond my recommended age group. Thanks to her own natural curiosity, I became a bookworm at an early age.
What has changed since those young years is my knowledge that not all struggles are physical or imminently dangerous. Much of what we endure is emotional, rooted in an internal space. As an adult I began reading books about those who struggled with mental illness, low self-worth, addiction, unexpectedly life-changing news and illness. Not all stories are about pain, some are based on waking up to joy and love that encouraged a new direction in life.
We all have a story to tell. In the spirit of Story Corps and Humans of New York, I want to share more stories about individual empowerment. These don’t need to be awesome, just valuable. When meeting new people I wonder, what valuable lesson do they have? What can they teach me? I want to share your story here on this blog. It can be a small part of your journey or a summary of your whole journey. The decision of what to share is yours.
So….. are you ready to share? Check out the What’s Your Story page and send me a message.
The new year is here and while it’s really just any other day on the calendar, each new years day fills me with renewed hope and energy. There is a certain magic in having a specific day set in time to celebrate new beginnings. After all I’m never completely know what joys, accomplishments, challenges and pain will greet me in the future days.
January also starts the 31 Day Self-Love Challenge, part of the Love Warrior Community. A “Love Warrior” may sound like “Sparkly New Age Woodiedoo”, but it’s not! A love warrior is simply someone who chooses to energize themself with love instead of fear, greed or anger. As someone who previously fueled her life with fantasies of revenge, of needing material wealth to be happy and from the fear of never having enough, my intent is to embrace love as my energizing force. I will gladly accept the label of a Love Warrior.
So what’s the reason behind a 31 day Self-Love Writing Challenge? “Writing is one way to discover the many aspects of you. Embrace all of yourself, those parts you love easily, and those parts you don’t.“-Michelle E. Minero, MFT and Emelina Minero, Love Warrior Community Co-Founders.
In the first writing prompt we are invited to write a personal manifesto (prayer) letter to ourselves. You can read an example here on the LoveWarriorCommunity.com. Write as short or long as you feel comfortable. You can always add or take away to your letter at a future date. Below is mine. You are welcome to take from it what you like. 🙂
Dear Self,
I am on a journey, on a road paved with self-love and layered with love from many others in my life present and past. There is always new love being laid down to help my journey and I promise to share that love with others without expectations.
I allow myself to feel a range of uncomfortable emotions, to fail and to stop if I’m putting myself in a bad situation. I have already lost so much and this taught me it’s okay to lose everything as long as I keep moving forward with self-love.
I am imperfectly perfect which means I’m always learning and learning involves failing.
Each day is a new opportunity and I will do my best to work for my goals.
I will succeed at many of my goals, maybe even all of them.
I know it’s been a difficult few years. I’ve lost loved ones, seen death up close, faced financial problems and made reckless decisions, but I am going to be okay. I am okay right now. From this moment I know that I’m whole and complete. All that I learn and add to myself in the future is extra credit to give life more joy, more meaning.
Please remember I’m still healing from grief. Also I’m still healing from the years of crippling and mind-numbing depression. I’m so grateful to have left those pains behind. I’ve worked hard on my personal issues and learned so much. I’m slowly returning to become that wild little girl who believed in magic and her own power.
This is my time to succeed in my professional goals. I will write and or create art every day. I will ask for guidance from those willing to share their wisdom. If I cannot solve a problem I will reach out for help.
Nurturing relationships is one of my goals. This past year has taught me the value of having not just friends, but friends who I can trust, who won’t judge me and who have similar ideals as mine. By surrounding myself with these friends I become stronger.
Self-love means living for myself and making sure I take time for self-care. It also means living for others. I will live for the memories of those departed who loved me so strongly. I will live for those still here who continue to love me. I will live for those who I’ve never met, for those struggling and succeeding, for those who were once cruel to me, for all life because we all deserve love no matter what we have done or will do.
Travel broadens our minds and our hearts. By learning about new cultures and people we can discover similarities and learn to appreciate differences.
I grew up with a mother who loved to travel. We didn’t have much money, but we traveled anyway and in doing so I was introduced to a variety of people and experiences. Today I still love to travel and explore. I’m constantly learning and meeting interesting people. I’ve heard wild stories and tame ones, but each held value and gave me a gift of new knowledge. So I was thrilled when this book made it’s way to me. I was able to explore a place I’d never been and get a new outlook on Japanese culture.
Each story in Beauty of Chaos: Slices and Morsels of Tokyo Life, reminds me how much we can learn from exploring different cities, as well as our own. The author describes multiple aspects of city life in Tokyo including the unique local customs and habits of its residents.
No part of the city seems to be untouched in this book. From the conspicuous signs on buildings and numerous maps in every corner to Tokyoites interest in the color pink and the inescapable dampness of the rainy season. I especially enjoyed the humorous chapter on catching the train, or in his case, multiple trains to get home after an evening outing.
If you’re looking for an adventure without leaving home check out this book. Or, if you’re planning a trip to Tokyo, read this book first and you’ll be better prepared. Buy it on Amazon.
“What do you want to nurture?” may be one of the best questions to ask as I we start another revolution around the sun.
As I continue forward with creating a healthy life of balance, how I answers is very important. The past year has been full of grief, healing, transition, taking chances and many new friendships. Since I no longer have my mother’s presence I’ve learned to be my own “guide”, encouraging myself to be courageous, take chances, speak up and say “YES!”. I’ve failed at all of these often and it’s difficult to not allow those failures to push me backward. But I cannot go back to the fearful person I once was.
Have you ever experienced a profound lesson and were then unable to see the world as before? It’s both liberating and scary. Suddenly we have no choice but to change. We can’t unlearn. We may attempt to ignore it, but once we have new knowledge it becomes a part of us. We have changed.
In 2016 I want to nurture new lessons so they become habits. This means paying close attention to my thoughts, words and actions. I will have to remind myself constantly, will forget and become frustrated. However it will be worthwhile once those lessons become ingrained in my mind. It’s important t remember there will always be new lessons.
I want to build stronger relationships with my new friends while also nurturing old ones. I will have to keep a closer eye on my schedule. This will involve focusing on what is important without getting sidetracked. It’s important for my new friends to learn from my actions that they are important and I value their uniqueness.
I want to continue creating a career with what the skills I have. So instead of running from one interest to the next I must focus my energy only on my writing, on creating art, on teaching self-defense and earning enough to pay all my debts.
“What do you want to let go of?” is just as important. Think about what has stalled your journey. Is it too many distractions, fear, doubt, anger, apathy?
In 2016 I will let go of my fears and doubts.
I’ve held myself back from so many things like travel and education because I feel like I don’t have enough money. Worrying about money is a waste of time. Instead, this year I will pay attention to my financial choices and make better decisions. Money is important, but it’s not the only way to get what I want. When I can’t afford something I will search for another option such as bartering and communities like the Buy Nothing Project.
My fear of not being good enough holds me back from following my dreams. I worry that my skills aren’t enough and that I’m old and running out of time! But how am I supposed to improve and learn new skills if I don’t use what I have. This year I commit to practice. Whether it’s in regards to self-defense, writing, art, playing the guitar or improving my spanish I know that it all hinges on actively practicing. When I hit a wall or stumble and fall I must ask for help or try a new method.
Des this sound like a lot? You are welcome to work on as little or as much as you want. What matters is YOU choosing what is most important to your true self. So look back on the past year and think about what has served you and what has stumped you. Decide what you want to nurture. Don’t stress about it or over think it. Just start creating what you truly want and start letting go of what doesn’t serve you. Make a plan, but be prepared for kinks and detours. Know that if you stay focused you will succeed, know that it’s okay to fail and that you are capable.
Todays post is inspired by the Love Warrior Community.
This is book one in the Up To You project. Inside you will find sixteen people from around the world have shared their stories of how they created positive change in their communities. Each interview shows how they took action, what obstacles they overcame, and advice on how anyone can be an active participant in creating a better world.
These agents of change are championing for human rights, education, health, environmental sustainability, ending violence, eradicating poverty, mentoring youth, improving their communities, and inventing products that create a better world. They are different genders, skin colors and ages who live in different countries and have different beliefs. What they share in common is taking action.
After reading this book you will be inspired to take action too! Use the resources inside to get started and create positive change!
We all want to keep our children safe. The damage of 911 and other acts of terrorism affects adults and children. The damage to children who witnessed catastrophic events wasn’t only physical, but psychological. Programmes have now been implemented to encourage resilience in schools all over the world. These programs help children and adults recover from trauma and cope with day-to-day stresses. For a long time a persons level of resilience was thought to be inherited. Can we develop our resiliency?
I am no stranger to life’s ups and downs; I was able to overcome many struggles throughout my life. I have bounced back from not being able to speak because of my speech impediment, and from moving halfway across the world without my parents at the age of 15. I lived in Kenya, Africa, a place with ongoing threats, robberies and a place with a general lack of safety. At age 5, an incident left me with a speech impediment-stuttering. I was also able to overcome a long battle with food, once being 40 pounds overweight. Yet today I managed to overcome my speech impediment. I completed my education in Nutrition & Food Science, and Environmental Health and I built two businesses. I currently work in the health field; I am a professional speaker and an award-winning author. People always ask how I overcame such obstacles. It was as if they were looking for a secret formula to being resilient or finding success. I really had to look internally and ask myself, Do I have a formula that I could share with others to help them overcome challenges and move forward? As I looked at my daughter I realized that this knowledge was important and needed to be shared with others. This is how the idea for the book was born.
When writing The Resilience Reflex I thought that I would not find the time to write. The only day I had was Sunday, but I wanted to spend that time with my family. After speaking to my coach, he pointed out that I could sacrifice a few hours in the early morning. So I did. I wrote and researched every Sunday morning between 5 and 11 a.m. for 5 months.
Both of my books, Attract Your Ideal Weight: 8 Secrets of People Who Lose Weight and Keep It Off, and my new release The Resilience Reflex dives into the behavior changes and mindset of people who have been successful and provides real-life experiences of people who have overcome their obstacles. Both books talk about managing and everyday coping skills that can be used in life and business. Women today experience a lot of stress! They have a lot to manage, family, life and business. I help women balance their life and business and became very successful. When managing stress and developing resilience we need to remember that our so-called negative emotions have a positive intent. For example, if you’ve been asked to present at the next board meeting, you may start feeling anxious, stressed and even scared, but we hardly ever acknowledge the reason behind those emotions. The positive intent of these feelings is to keep you safe from embarrassment. Once you acknowledge the positive intent behind the emotion, you are one step closer to overcoming this fear and developing your emotional resilience.
The Resilience Reflex provides the 8 keys to resiliency that can be used in business and life; it also provides the 3 steps, which is my signature system, on building ones resilience reflex. Once these 3 steps are used over and over again in challenging times, individuals will be able to easily find solutions and bounce back. Amazon Bestseller “The Resilience Reflex” is available on Amazon and other retailers. When you order the book you receive as a bonus gift The Resilience Reflex Workbook – 3 Powerful Steps to Get Unstuck and Bounce Back, this is available at Zaheennanji.com.
Book Excerpt
“I’m not going to live here; I am going back to Kenya. I can’t survive here! I wiped my tears away. Other kids will make fun of me in school, and I will hate it. However, in the back of my mind, I knew there was no going back. I could feel every cell in my body screaming, I wish I didn’t stutter! With a stutter that controlled my life, how could I expect to survive the next few years in high school? We string words to create dialogue, to have meaningful conversations, to inspire others with a moving speech, and all of these have two things in common: communication and creating relationships. The average person may not think twice when she opens her mouth to have a conversation; the words just flow out. That’s not the case for a person who stutters.”
ENTER TO WIN A FREE COPY OF “THE RESILIENCE RELFEX”.
Individual Empowerment 