Healing my depression has been my Persephone’s journey from a cold winter to a spring rebirth. After seventeen years, it had been so long since I felt any sense of pure joy, of deeply knowing myself. If you haven’t been depressed I can’t explain with words how debilitating it is. Being depressed for so long caused me a menagerie of problems and illness that continue to affect my life to this day.
Every time I hear of someone who killed themselves by suicide because of their depression, I realize how extremely lucky I am to have found a healing path. In honor of the lives lost and all those who carry that weight, I have created a free e-course to help people start their healing journey.
Even if you only have a feeling that someone is depressed, you should share this with them. You just might save their life.
Statistics show us that 1 in 4 people in the USA suffer from depression. That number is too high! I know we can lower this number f we are open to being more compassionate and less judgmental of mental illness. Let’s heal together! Are you with me?
Creating this e-course has taken years of diligent work and I’m so excited to share it with the world! I’ve spent quite a bit of time and money to get here, including becoming certified in mental health first aid, research, advocacy and outreach. If you would like to support this healing work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon. For as little as $3 a month, you can fund the program and support future creative healing projects, like my upcoming book about creating a self-love revolution.
Whenever you start to feel unwanted feelings or need a reason to get up out of bed it helps to have healthy reminders that inspire you.
Write yourself love notes and leave around your house, room, office space, even your wallet.
Find inspiring poems and quotes that give you a sense of healing and purpose.
Cover your walls with art and colors that brighten your mood.
One of my favorite writings about emotions is ‘The Guest House’ by Rumi. A good friend and mentor shared it with me and I read it often to remind me to allow myself to feel what I need to heal.
“This being human is a guest house. Each morning a new arrival. A joy, depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of all it’s furniture, still treat each guest honorably. She/He may be clearing you out for some new delight.” – Rumi
There are different methods for mindfulness and my favorites usually center around being very still and silent. I also love taking mindful walks which allow me to see what I usually rush past. Mindful walks are especially fun in new places. What better way to connect with a place then by consciously looking, feeling and listening to what surrounds you?
Grounding is helpful when I’m feeling anxious or rushed, but need to be present. Often before I began in the garden I practice grounding so I can focus on being present and enjoying the activity instead of contemplating every single little thing that needs to be completed. To ground is rather simple. Start by noticing your breath. Is it rapid, all over the place or slow and steady? Began slow, deep breathing. I find that taking three deep inhales and exhales helps me ground.
From here I choose one of my favorite breath movements or affirmations:
Visualize your favorite place: Bring it to life in your mind by focusing on as many little details as you can recall. Perhaps it’s a mountain meadow full of flowers, your favorite café with walls covered in art or a sanctuary space you retreat into. It can even be a place you’ve never visited. Use your imagination to create and bring to life a safe space. Your mind will drift this way and that so to stay in this safe space you can try focusing on your breathing.
Notice your breathing. If it is erratic or you’re feeling anxious, slow down your breathing. Sometimes it helps me to mentally say “Breathe In/Aspirar” with each in breath and “Breathe Out/ Espirar” with each out breath. You can also count your breaths. I like to count to 100 and then count backwards to one.
Use repetitive intentions: I choose a word or sentence to describe my intention and mentally say it with each breath. For example you can choose to breathe in awareness. So with each breath say “breathing in awareness” followed by “breathing out awareness”. If I’m having trouble falling asleep because of all the thoughts in my head I mentally repeat the sentence “Rest in silence and stillness.”
Make noise: Create a humming noise like “Om”. I like to use this when I cannot concentrate because it forces me to consciously continue making the noise. Sometimes I will need to do this for a few minutes and then I can focus on my breathing or counting.
Use movement meditation: If you have a lot of energy like I do or if you’re feeling very unsettled, try a walking meditation. I love to do this when I feel a lot of pent up energy. I choose two to three words to continuously repeat, I carry a bracelet of wooden beads to move with my fingers and I pace back and forth in my room or walk around a park. This creates a rhythm to help me stay focused.
Circle Affirmation: My peaceful thoughts become peaceful words, become peaceful actions, become peaceful thoughts, become peaceful words, become peaceful actions, become peaceful thoughts…
Now if you’re feeling grounded you can start a new task or continue on with your activities. If you’re still feeling ungrounded then start over with the deep breaths or try sitting/standing in silence.
“Awareness of the present moment clears away mental obstacles.”
One of the many ways I’m healing my depression is through nature. I live in the city with lots of parks, canyons and the ocean, but it’s still mostly concrete, pollution and a constant rushing of life. Since I don’t have many opportunities to escape into the mountains I escape into the garden where I volunteer and “ground” or “meditate”. Here is a simple meditation I’ve been using for over a year now.
Nature Meditation
Find a spot. Sit down or stand still.
Look at your surroundings. Is this a safe place to stop and rest?
If so, find a plant or tree to direct your focus.
Notice your thoughts and tell them that it’s time for a break. Just focus on the plant or tree you chose. Notice the shape and size. What is the color of the plant? What’s unique about it? Imagine what insects, reptiles or animals might live in it or like to nibble on it. Just allow your focus to be totally absorbed by the plant.
Every time you start thinking, bring yourself back with the word “return”. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been on a train of thought, just notice that you are out of focus. Allow yourself to release any thoughts, especially those concerned with what you need to do or what is causing you pain. Imagine all the unwanted things seeping out of you and into the soil. Let your worries dissolve into the earth.
Just be present. When you feel ready to move forward with your day then gently return to the world around you. Bring with you the felling of peace that you cultivated today.
The first time I tried this, I only lasted a few minutes, but gradually with practice I can allow myself to sit still and be present for much longer. Practicing mindfulness and meditation is a core for healing. If we don’t take time to slow down and allow ourselves to shut down we will constantly be working on ourselves and that is tiring.
Want more? Check out my DIY Therapy Posts or buy my book, “D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression” on Amazon.
Have you ever wondered what you could do -what possibilities would open up- if you didn’t feel overwhelmed by depression?
“D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression” is available through Amazon; as both an e-book and a paperback.
If you’re suffering from depression I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you can’t afford a therapist find a supportive mentor, teacher or healer who can help you discover inner peace. Healing is possible IF you are open and willing to commit to a self-care plan.
For several years I have been working on healing my depression. It’s been a bumpy journey, but is slowly bringing me home to my true self. For a few years now I have been sharing my healing process through myDIY Therapy posts, which are free to read, here on my blog. I’m elated to finally share how I have healed in book form. Hopefully this will help me reach more people who are in pain.
Have you ever wondered what you could do -what possibilities would open up- if you didn’t feel overwhelmed by depression?
I published through Amazon so it’s available as both an e-book and a paperback. This is not my first book, but it is my most personal. I share my struggles and pain honestly. Openly and honestly sharing healing is my gift to the world. With 1 in 4 people in the USA suffering from mental illness I hope my story will help others to start their own journey to better health. Unlike a broken bone which heals in a matter of weeks or months, healing mental illness takes much more time and a whole lot of self-love.
For seventeen years I suffered in silence because the fear of a mental illness stigma is SO strong. I hid it even from my closest family and friends, “knowing” they would not understand. Well as it turns out, my family and friends and event complete strangers, care a lot about my mental health. It is with their support and encouragement that I was able to openly share my own pain and the struggles of depression.
If you’re suffering from depression I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you can’t afford a therapist find a supportive mentor, teacher or healer who can help you discover inner peace. Healing is possible IF you are open and willing to commit to a self-care plan. You’re life only has value if you decide it does.
And it’s okay to stumble and fall along the way. Healing takes time so BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF!
A major blockade in depression is communication. It’s difficult to communicate unhappiness with family and friends, especially when it feels all-encompassing. You might began to feel like a burden to others if you are consistently unhappy. After a while I was tired of my own depression, but I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings. A while back I began working on my communication skills and felt like I was making real progress, so I stopped when I felt like I had learned what I needed. I should have continued.
After quite an awful spring I was beginning to feel so depressed that I treated a friend rather badly (read my post on regret) and put serious strain on our relationship. This summer I learned that I still need a lot of work in regards to communication. Healthy communication is a skill I must be and want to be aware of on a regular basis.
“Communicate with compassion and openness. Holding questions, concerns and anger inside is unhealthy.”
When I asked myself why I am afraid to communicate, these were my answers.
People won’t care.
People will be mean or take advantage of me.
I will be a burden to others.
I will look weak.
It’s not necessary to share.
I should be able to handle problems on my own.
I don’t actually want to follow through or move forward on what I’m not communicating!
None of these are valid reasons, but I have convinced myself they are. So now that I’m aware of why I don’t want to communicate I can choose to not allow fear or doubt to guide my decisions.
Have you ever wondered what you could do -what possibilities would open up- if you didn’t feel overwhelmed by depression?
“D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression” is available through Amazon; available as both an e-book and a paperback.
If you’re suffering from depression I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you can’t afford a therapist find a supportive mentor, teacher or healer who can help you discover inner peace. Healing is possible IF you are open and willing to commit to a self-care plan.
An important aspect of self growth and healing from depression is accepting yourself. If you want to feel balanced and healthy you can’t spend all your energy fighting who you are. Instead you must learn to be genuine and love the parts of you that are both embarrassing and wonderful.
Below are seven questions to give you insight into your genuine self. After you answer these questions meditate on your responses.
1) Who am I?
2) What labels have been assigned to me by others?
3) What about myself do I criticize?
4) What about myself do I celebrate?
5) What do I believe about myself that is not true?
Regret and remorse have been such powerful emotions in my life. These keep me stuck in the past, unable to move forward and enjoy my journey. I have an unhealthy habit of living in my head, in the past. Whether it’s something that happened a few days ago or years ago, some experiences have been difficult to release. I recently was mired in regret after allowing all the negatives of life to become more important than the positives.
One of my favorite cousins died, one of my sisters was in the hospital and a newer friend attempted suicide. This was on top of the stress I felt about more “simpler” problems. I felt sad, unloved and overwhelmed. And my reaction was all funneled directly to my closest friend. Basically I was a jerk. Of course in my head at the time this friend was at fault. I had built up every little thing they did and said into a mountain of hurt and I was the victim. I wallowed there so long that we didn’t talk for a few weeks and then I felt so much sadness at the thought of losing this friend. That’s when the pain became extra strong. “Wasn’t it bad enough to lose my cousin? How could I lose my friend too!” I started thinking about the situation and reviewing my actions.
Suddenly the clouds cleared and I could see that this friend had not actually done anything to deserve how I treated them.
I understood that I was choosing to react to life in an unhealthy way. In a way that I had promised myself I wouldn’t do anymore. Once again I was stuck in old patterns. I went from sadness and grief from all the pain of the summer to a much more inward feeling of disappointment and shame. Looking back it was obvious to me that if I had taken the chance to communicate in the beginning none of this would have happened! In my search for healing I found a very helpful meditation video on regret that guided me through such a difficult time. It’s called “Meditation on Regret and Self Forgiveness” and is on YouTube at https://youtu.be/g0bRq_WUkKs
Here are the insights I received from the video.
Step One:
What did I feel at the time of this regretful situation? Sadness, anger and fear.
Was there malice or intent attached to it? No, I wasn’t trying to be mean. I felt victimized.
Why am I attached to it? Because it feels so wrong and unnecessary.
How can I let go of expectations? I can communicate with others instead of expecting them to somehow understand what I need or feel.
Step Two:
Is there a permanent negative impact on my life and others? – Maybe, but I don’t feel like there really is.
Why is the regret still with me? Because it was an awful way to act.
Can I remedy the situation now in the present? Yes, I can apologize and if needed make it up to my friend.
If not, how can I apply lessons to live consciously, accept it and move forward so I don’t repeat this regret? If they don’t want to accept my apology than I can be conscious of how I treat people now and in the future. I can stay aware of when I’m not communicating and I can improve healthy communication skills.
Luckily I was able to apologize to my friend and let go of the regret rather easily, but what if that person no longer wanted to be my friend? I’d like to believe that I would carry the remorse for a while, but eventually let go of all pain from that time in my life and be a compassionate person.
What this summer has taught me is that I really am in control of how I react to real or perceived threats. I obviously have to stay aware of my ability to not communicate and my habit of living in the past. I refuse to live in the past because regret is an easy way to avoid lessons and accountability. I want to own up to my actions. Regret creates untrue thoughts that “the current state of emotion or situation will never change”. I’ve been alive long enough to know this isn’t true. Everything constantly changes, including me. Please remember that regret is born from knowing now what you didn’t know then. Be self-compassionate. When you are faced with regret take it as an opportunity to reflect on whether your actions line up with your beliefs.
You are complete! Trust yourself. You can improve upon yourself and add new skills, more compassion, more love, more knowledge, but the reality is you were born completely whole.
I sometimes forget this, getting caught up in the perception of loneliness and feelings of incompetence, but I’m never truly alone because I have my whole complete self with me. If you have a lonely, incomplete feeling in your gut this morning I hope you can heal it with positive, healthy action. I’d give you a hug if you were here.
After the 17 years I decided the pain grafted to myself needed to be gently removed and replaced with love. I share my D.I.Y. Therapy posts in the hope that my journey can help others find self-love and create a life free of depression. My advice is not a cure-all. I still have moments where I slip back into feelings of depression, but now I can acknowledge my emotions and their causes as a way to find my way back to peace. Read more of my journey out of depression and into balance with my D.I.Y. Therapy posts on this blog.
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Have you downloaded my FREE coloring book? “Peace, Love & Weirdness” is an offbeat collection of my original illustrations and affirmations.
In the midst of my depression I relied on positive, upbeat music to lift my mood. There were many to choose from, but I noticed that many song lyrics are counterproductive with lyrics that reinforce negative patterns. So one day I decided to write a song for myself; to guide, remind and empower me to continue on this journey without giving up. Here it is.
Love is my heartsong, I will sing it loud and strong.
Love is my heartsong, listening to it all along.
On this journey of life, through goodness and strife,
guiding me with a loving light,
shinging bright
shining bright,
Love is MY heartsong, I will sing it loud and strong.
Forever singing as I move along.
-Leah Oviedo
Can you write a heartsong? It doesn’t have to rhyme, or be perfect. It just has to come from you, from your core.
Is writing a song for yourself too dorky? Or are you not creative enough? I know all the excuses. I’ve told myself enough excuses in three decades to recognizewhen I’m making one, but what does holding back really give us? My D.I.Y. therapy advice is to work past your fear and sing it loud, even if it’s with the doors and windows shut tight.
I share my D.I.Y. Therapy posts in the hope that my journey can help others find self-love and create a life free of depression. My advice is not a cure-all. I still have moments where I slip back into feelings of depression, but now can acknowledge my emotions and their cause as a way to find my way back to peace.
Read more of my journey out of depression and into balance with my D.I.Y. Therapy posts on this blog.
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Have you downloaded my FREE coloring book? “Peace, Love & Weirdness” is an offbeat collection of my original illustrations and affirmations.
Individual Empowerment 