Healing through art & therapy! I used to be depressed and codependent with very low self worth and many unhealthy habits. But several years ago I started the healing process and am sharing what I learned with gratitude and hope for each of us. Peace & hugs, Leah
Imagery can be one of your self-care tools. Focusing on an image and guiding yourself into a new mental space can help you step away from unwanted emotions or anxiety that are causing you stress. When I get stuck in my head and negatively react to others I will take the elevator to my heart.
In my mind the elevator is a calming blue color with soft waves of dark blues and greens. The doors have a large butterfly mural reminding me that transformation is part of life. There are only two buttons; one to my brain and one to my heart. The buttons are a cheerful yellow that reminds me of sunshine and warmth. As I begin my descent to my heart, the air cools off and I feel lighter. Gentle loving thoughts enter my brain and beautiful violin music plays Canon in D Minor, my favorite song. The doors open to piles of soft fluffy pillows that look like clouds. A warm golden light and a scent of the ocean fill the air. There are books, snacks and fresh brewed tea for me to enjoy. I feel peaceful and able to rest here in safety and love.
Your imagery can be whatever you want it to be. Maybe your elevator is blasting loud dance music or your favorite blues singer. Maybe your heart is a rock concert or your favorite hiking spot. It can be dark and quiet or loud and cheerful. The idea is simply to visualize a place where YOU feel safe and peaceful.
In the beginning meditation always seemed too intimidating. I could never make it to thirty minutes of not thinking. Even 5 minutes was often too much to handle. Then I found guided meditation and this worked great. I could totally focus on the voice of another for thirty minutes or more. I enjoyed and despised a variety of podcasts and videos until I found the ones that worked for me.
One of my favorite meditation practices focuses on awareness, clarity, focus and peace.
-Awareness: I’m aware of my body and how it feels.
-Clarity: I see that I need to rest, listen more and practice self-care. (What do you need?)
-Focus: I will focus on incorporating these actions into my daily rituals.
-Peace: By doing this I create ripples of peace in my life that spread into our world.
Become conscious of your actions. When your intuition speaks do you resist or react in accordance to the guidance? When making decisions about money, relationships or personal goals we often repeat thoughts we’ve learned from others which tend to be negative or don’t work in our particular situation. Learn to differentiate between helpful and learned behavior by asking one simple question. “Is this sustainable?”
Pema Chodron is a famous Buddhist nun who has guided meditations for millions of people. I love her talks and often listen to one before sleep. She is very wise without taking life too seriously. She has quite a few videos on YouTube.
There are different methods for mindfulness and my favorites usually center around being very still and silent. I also love taking mindful walks which allow me to see what I usually rush past. Mindful walks are especially fun in new places. What better way to connect with a place then by consciously looking, feeling and listening to what surrounds you?
Grounding is helpful when I’m feeling anxious or rushed, but need to be present. Often before I began in the garden I practice grounding so I can focus on being present and enjoying the activity instead of contemplating every single little thing that needs to be completed. To ground is rather simple. Start by noticing your breath. Is it rapid, all over the place or slow and steady? Began slow, deep breathing. I find that taking three deep inhales and exhales helps me ground.
From here I choose one of my favorite breath movements or affirmations:
Visualize your favorite place: Bring it to life in your mind by focusing on as many little details as you can recall. Perhaps it’s a mountain meadow full of flowers, your favorite café with walls covered in art or a sanctuary space you retreat into. It can even be a place you’ve never visited. Use your imagination to create and bring to life a safe space. Your mind will drift this way and that so to stay in this safe space you can try focusing on your breathing.
Notice your breathing. If it is erratic or you’re feeling anxious, slow down your breathing. Sometimes it helps me to mentally say “Breathe In/Aspirar” with each in breath and “Breathe Out/ Espirar” with each out breath. You can also count your breaths. I like to count to 100 and then count backwards to one.
Use repetitive intentions: I choose a word or sentence to describe my intention and mentally say it with each breath. For example you can choose to breathe in awareness. So with each breath say “breathing in awareness” followed by “breathing out awareness”. If I’m having trouble falling asleep because of all the thoughts in my head I mentally repeat the sentence “Rest in silence and stillness.”
Make noise: Create a humming noise like “Om”. I like to use this when I cannot concentrate because it forces me to consciously continue making the noise. Sometimes I will need to do this for a few minutes and then I can focus on my breathing or counting.
Use movement meditation: If you have a lot of energy like I do or if you’re feeling very unsettled, try a walking meditation. I love to do this when I feel a lot of pent up energy. I choose two to three words to continuously repeat, I carry a bracelet of wooden beads to move with my fingers and I pace back and forth in my room or walk around a park. This creates a rhythm to help me stay focused.
Circle Affirmation: My peaceful thoughts become peaceful words, become peaceful actions, become peaceful thoughts, become peaceful words, become peaceful actions, become peaceful thoughts…
Now if you’re feeling grounded you can start a new task or continue on with your activities. If you’re still feeling ungrounded then start over with the deep breaths or try sitting/standing in silence.
“Awareness of the present moment clears away mental obstacles.”
This lesson is designed to give you a physical manifestation of choosing to heal and “break-up” with depression. Depression controlled me much in the way that an abusive partner can be controlling. In order to heal we need to be firm in our resolve.
Write a Break Up Letter!
Write your depression a break up letter. Remember to be gentle and honest. Below is the break up letter I finally wrote to myself last year. You can use this idea for any of your habits that you want to remove from your life. Saying things like this out loud helps to rewire your brain and gives a sense of control over your depression as opposed to the other way around.
Action:
Write a break up letter with depression and bookmark the page so you can read it whenever you need to remember that the relationship is over.
Dear Depression,
Our time together has come to an end. We met under stressful circumstances and bonded over some heavy stuff. Somehow, we made it through the years together, but it’s time for us to separate. We are not happy together and we never have been. My interests have changed from self-loathing to self-love while yours have not. All those times when you continued the negative thoughts and put me down caused me to cry untold amounts of tears. The ways you taught me to be envious of others and think they were better than me caused my self-worth to plummet. You have an easy way of making things that are new and different seem terrifying, as if I’m ‘just not good enough’.
You have taught me a lot about how to under value life, but I can see that my abilities are limitless. I can see that solutions exist even in the stickiest situations. I am so much stronger now than ever before. If there is one good thing I can say about you, it’s that you have caused me to be a strong person with compassion for others who suffer from mental illness and the stigma society has given us. Because of you I can show more understanding to others because I know how depression can paralyze a person.
I don’t hate you. You will always be a part of my authentic self. I already look back at our time together with a hint of gratitude that we met.
Wishing you all the healing you need, My Best Self.
P.S., If you follow me I will not invite you back into my heart. This is the end.
This lesson is designed to improve your communication skills because a major blockade in depression is poor communication. When depression feels all-encompassing, it’s difficult to communicate unhappiness with family and friends. You might begin to feel like a burden to others if you are consistently unhappy. After a while I was tired of my own depression, but I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings. I soon began working on my communication skills and felt like I was making real progress. Then I foolishly stopped when I felt like I had learned what I needed. I should have continued.
Communicate with Compassion
As I mentioned earlier in the section about regret, after quite an awful spring I was beginning to feel so depressed that I treated a friend rather badly and put strain on our relationship. That summer I learned that I still need a lot of work in regard to communication. Healthy communication is a skill I must cultivate and therefor be aware of on a regular basis.
Communicate with compassion and openness. Holding questions, concerns and anger inside is unhealthy.
When I asked myself why I am afraid to communicate, these were my answers:
-People won’t care, will be mean or take advantage of me.
-I will be a burden to others. It’s not necessary to share.
-I will look weak. I should be able to handle problems on my own.
-I don’t truly want to follow through or move forward on what I’m not communicating.
None of these are valid reasons, but I had convinced myself they were. So now that I’m aware of why I don’t want to communicate I can choose to not allow fear or doubt to guide my decisions.
Become aware of your anger. I used to feel a lot of anger about what I went through in my youth. I also was angry about a lot of scenarios I created in my mind which never actually came true. I would rile myself up with anger by reliving moments and becoming angry at myself for not saying or doing something differently. I would also get angry with others for what they did or didn’t do. Then I would hold it in and build it up until whatever happened became a tsunami of pain and drama. I was often unconsciously being passive aggressive because I could only hold in so much. Once I noticed how I was acting I felt a mixture of guilt and revenge. It never felt good, but I didn’t know how to communicate very well.
Action:
Journal about what scares you.
What are you afraid to communicate with others?
Why do you feel that way?
How do you feel when you don’t communicate, but want to?
This lesson revolves around nurturing what we want to grow and allowing ourselves to feel all our emotions without judgement. Self-care is vital to healing from depression. Finding our true self is not easy when we feel too depressed to do much of anything, but it helps us create a strong foundation to continue healing, and not revert to our old ways of living.
Nurture What You Want to Grow!
“What do you want to nurture?” This may be one of the best questions to ask as we start another revolution around the sun.
As I continue forward with creating a healthy life of balance, how I answer is very important. The years have been full of grief, healing, transition, taking chances and many new friendships. Since I no longer have my mother’s presence I’ve learned to be my own “guide”, encouraging myself to be courageous, take chances, speak up and say “YES!” I’ve failed at these often and it’s difficult to not allow those failures to push me backward. But I cannot go back to the fearful person I once was.
Have you ever experienced a profound lesson and were then unable to see the world as before? It’s both liberating and scary. Suddenly we have no choice but to change. We can’t unlearn. We may attempt to ignore it, but once we have new knowledge it becomes a part of us. We have changed.
In the new year, I want to nurture new lessons so they become habits. This means paying close attention to my thoughts, words and actions. I will have to remind myself constantly or I will forget and become frustrated. However, it will be worthwhile once those lessons become ingrained in my mind. It’s important to remember there will always be new lessons and to be open to those.
Does this sound like a lot? Commit to tiny changes, work on as little or as much as you want. What matters is YOU choosing what is most important to your true self.
This Book Brought Me Many Smiles! (this is not a paid review)
The tile of Jem Friars book, “Choosing Happier” resonated with me because we need to consciously choose to be happy in a world that can be so painful and challenging. Experience has shown me that happiness is not an end goal, but rather a process on my individual journey.
This book offers guidance on creating a 30 day happiness practice that includes creating a morning routine. having a morning routine has been very helpful for me. I didn’t want to wake up earlier, but 10 extra minutes for the exercises I chose, gratitude and journaling, has created a more positive attitude for my work commute.
Having this book is like having a really positive, encouraging friend who you can bring just about anywhere! I’m grateful for the request to review this book because the pages empowered me with good feelings. One of my favorite exercises in the book is acknowledging my character strengths. As Jem writes, “A character strength is potentially a bit like your superpower…” . One of the ways I healed from depression is by using my skills and love of self-defense to empower others. When I started teaching self-defense I felt a sense of rejuvenation like I hadn’t felt before.
There’s a great section on self-compassion, which has been vital to my own healing practice. The author describes self-compassion as, “learning to be emotionally responsive to our own suffering from a place of kindness.” I’ve learned that you can do all the happiness work in the world, but if it doesn’t include compassion for yourself and others, it doesn’t have much of an impact.
I recommend this book for anyone who needs structure and guidance in their effort to create more happiness. It would also a good book for someone who is experiencing mild depression.
What are you waiting for? Request this book from your local library or order this book at:
“D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression” is available through Amazon; available as both an e-book and a paperback.
If you’re suffering from depression I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you can’t afford a therapist find a supportive mentor, teacher or healer who can help you discover inner peace. Healing is possible IF you are open and willing to commit to a self-care plan.
Why not love ourselves? Why not write ourselves love letters? Go ahead and give it a try. Start cultivating gratitude until your garden is overflowing with unconditional love. Below is a letter I wrote to myself last night. I hope it inspires you to write your own body love letter.
If you write a love letter to your body, please link it in the comments below and I will reblog it!
Oh Body, you have been with me since day one and will be with me until my last breath. I’m so grateful for you!
Thank you for my wild hair that is a reflection of my untamed heart. I love having size 11 feet that allow me to walk long distances. I love being six feet tall, having fat around my belly and tiny breasts that will never be considered voluptuous. From my scalp to my toes, inside and out, I love you more than any beauty style or product.
All of our scars tell stories that have made us who we are. From broken bones that healed to bruised hearts that continue beating, I am so lucky to have you. You never stop working to keep me alive and I’m so grateful for you!
Screw this whole idea of hating you. How could I even live without you? I couldn’t! We are one and in love and will be together for as long as possible.
With unconditional love, Leah
“D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Depression” is available through Amazon; available as both an e-book and a paperback.
If you’re suffering from depression I strongly encourage you to seek help. If you can’t afford a therapist find a supportive mentor, teacher or healer who can help you discover inner peace. Healing is possible IF you are open and willing to commit to a self-care plan.
Jody’s Garden is a book about using the power of nature to heal your grief. A portion of each book sale will be donated to cancer research.
Book Summary:
“Grief is a changing of seasons in our own garden.”
Gardens are a space for healing. With the cycle of life and death so close at hand, we have an opportunity to learn many lessons. In the garden, we can see the interconnectedness of our own life. We learn how the soil, once seen as nothing but dirt, reveals that it is teeming with life. Plants remind us the importance of self-care as we must give them just enough, but not too much, water and be on the lookout for toxins and insects that might cause harm. The beauty of flowers that only bloom once or twice a year teach us patience. When plants die we can better understand that nothing is permanent and remember to live in the present.
In this book you will find meditations, journal prompts, poetry and coloring pages. I hope you will also find a sense of peace and balance in your grief.
The book is available as a paperback and e-book on the following websites:
(Not on Amazon, but you recently lost a loved one? Contact me for a free PDF of this book.)
Giving Back!
This book was inspired by my mother’s battle with cancer. She fought long and hard to heal herself, but ultimately was unable to heal completely. In honor of her, I will donate one dollar ($1) from each book sale to the following cancer research organizations:
Individual Empowerment 