This lesson is designed to improve your communication skills because a major blockade in depression is poor communication. When depression feels all-encompassing, it’s difficult to communicate unhappiness with family and friends. You might begin to feel like a burden to others if you are consistently unhappy. After a while I was tired of my own depression, but I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings. I soon began working on my communication skills and felt like I was making real progress. Then I foolishly stopped when I felt like I had learned what I needed. I should have continued.
Communicate with Compassion
As I mentioned earlier in the section about regret, after quite an awful spring I was beginning to feel so depressed that I treated a friend rather badly and put strain on our relationship. That summer I learned that I still need a lot of work in regard to communication. Healthy communication is a skill I must cultivate and therefor be aware of on a regular basis.
Communicate with compassion and openness. Holding questions, concerns and anger inside is unhealthy.
When I asked myself why I am afraid to communicate, these were my answers:
-People won’t care, will be mean or take advantage of me.
-I will be a burden to others. It’s not necessary to share.
-I will look weak. I should be able to handle problems on my own.
-I don’t truly want to follow through or move forward on what I’m not communicating.
None of these are valid reasons, but I had convinced myself they were. So now that I’m aware of why I don’t want to communicate I can choose to not allow fear or doubt to guide my decisions.
Become aware of your anger. I used to feel a lot of anger about what I went through in my youth. I also was angry about a lot of scenarios I created in my mind which never actually came true. I would rile myself up with anger by reliving moments and becoming angry at myself for not saying or doing something differently. I would also get angry with others for what they did or didn’t do. Then I would hold it in and build it up until whatever happened became a tsunami of pain and drama. I was often unconsciously being passive aggressive because I could only hold in so much. Once I noticed how I was acting I felt a mixture of guilt and revenge. It never felt good, but I didn’t know how to communicate very well.
Journal about what scares you.
What are you afraid to communicate with others?
Why do you feel that way?
How do you feel when you don’t communicate, but want to?
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