This lesson is designed to improve your communication skills because a major blockade in depression is poor communication. When depression feels all-encompassing, it’s difficult to communicate unhappiness with family and friends. You might begin to feel like a burden to others if you are consistently unhappy. After a while I was tired of my own depression, but I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings. I soon began working on my communication skills and felt like I was making real progress. Then I foolishly stopped when I felt like I had learned what I needed. I should have continued.
Communicate with Compassion
As I mentioned earlier in the section about regret, after quite an awful spring I was beginning to feel so depressed that I treated a friend rather badly and put strain on our relationship. That summer I learned that I still need a lot of work in regard to communication. Healthy communication is a skill I must cultivate and therefor be aware of on a regular basis.
Communicate with compassion and openness. Holding questions, concerns and anger inside is unhealthy.
When I asked myself why I am afraid to communicate, these were my answers:
-People won’t care, will be mean or take advantage of me.
-I will be a burden to others. It’s not necessary to share.
-I will look weak. I should be able to handle problems on my own.
-I don’t truly want to follow through or move forward on what I’m not communicating.
None of these are valid reasons, but I had convinced myself they were. So now that I’m aware of why I don’t want to communicate I can choose to not allow fear or doubt to guide my decisions.
Become aware of your anger. I used to feel a lot of anger about what I went through in my youth. I also was angry about a lot of scenarios I created in my mind which never actually came true. I would rile myself up with anger by reliving moments and becoming angry at myself for not saying or doing something differently. I would also get angry with others for what they did or didn’t do. Then I would hold it in and build it up until whatever happened became a tsunami of pain and drama. I was often unconsciously being passive aggressive because I could only hold in so much. Once I noticed how I was acting I felt a mixture of guilt and revenge. It never felt good, but I didn’t know how to communicate very well.
Action:
Journal about what scares you.
What are you afraid to communicate with others?
Why do you feel that way?
How do you feel when you don’t communicate, but want to?
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Individual Empowerment 