Category: Empowering Discussions

This lesson is designed to give you a physical manifestation of choosing to heal and “break-up” with depression. Depression controlled me much in the way that an abusive partner can be controlling. In order to heal we need to be firm in our resolve.

 Write a Break Up Letter!

Write your depression a break up letter. Remember to be gentle and honest. Below is the break up letter I finally wrote to myself last year. You can use this idea for any of your habits that you want to remove from your life. Saying things like this out loud helps to rewire your brain and gives a sense of control over your depression as opposed to the other way around.

Action:

Write a break up letter with depression and bookmark the page so you can read it whenever you need to remember that the relationship is over.

Dear Depression,

 Our time together has come to an end. We met under stressful circumstances and bonded over some heavy stuff. Somehow, we made it through the years together, but it’s time for us to separate. We are not happy together and we never have been. My interests have changed from self-loathing to self-love while yours have not. All those times when you continued the negative thoughts and put me down caused me to cry untold amounts of tears. The ways you taught me to be envious of others and think they were better than me caused my self-worth to plummet. You have an easy way of making things that are new and different seem terrifying, as if I’m ‘just not good enough’.

 You have taught me a lot about how to under value life, but I can see that my abilities are limitless. I can see that solutions exist even in the stickiest situations. I am so much stronger now than ever before. If there is one good thing I can say about you, it’s that you have caused me to be a strong person with compassion for others who suffer from mental illness and the stigma society has given us. Because of you I can show more understanding to others because I know how depression can paralyze a person.

 I don’t hate you. You will always be a part of my authentic self. I already look back at our time together with a hint of gratitude that we met.

 Wishing you all the healing you need, My Best Self.

P.S., If you follow me I will not invite you back into my heart. This is the end.

 

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This lesson is  designed to improve your communication skills because a major blockade in depression is poor communication. When depression feels all-encompassing, it’s difficult to communicate unhappiness with family and friends. You might begin to feel like a burden to others if you are consistently unhappy. After a while I was tired of my own depression, but I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings. I soon began working on my communication skills and felt like I was making real progress. Then I foolishly stopped when I felt like I had learned what I needed. I should have continued.

Communicate with Compassion

As I mentioned earlier in the section about regret, after quite an awful spring I was beginning to feel so depressed that I treated a friend rather badly and put strain on our relationship. That summer I learned that I still need a lot of work in regard to communication. Healthy communication is a skill I must cultivate and therefor be aware of on a regular basis.

Communicate with compassion and openness. Holding questions, concerns and anger inside is unhealthy. 

When I asked myself why I am afraid to communicate, these were my answers:

-People won’t care, will be mean or take advantage of me.

-I will be a burden to others. It’s not necessary to share.

-I will look weak. I should be able to handle problems on my own.

-I don’t truly want to follow through or move forward on what I’m not communicating.

None of these are valid reasons, but I had convinced myself they were. So now that I’m aware of why I don’t want to communicate I can choose to not allow fear or doubt to guide my decisions.

Become aware of your anger. I used to feel a lot of anger about what I went through in my youth. I also was angry about a lot of scenarios I created in my mind which never actually came true. I would rile myself up with anger by reliving moments and becoming angry at myself for not saying or doing something differently. I would also get angry with others for what they did or didn’t do. Then I would hold it in and build it up until whatever happened became a tsunami of pain and drama. I was often unconsciously being passive aggressive because I could only hold in so much. Once I noticed how I was acting I felt a mixture of guilt and revenge. It never felt good, but I didn’t know how to communicate very well.

Action:

Journal about what scares you.

What are you afraid to communicate with others?

Why do you feel that way?

How do you feel when you don’t communicate, but want to?

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Return to the E-Course Main Page for more lessons.

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Feeling overwhelmed from this lesson? Need a fun break?

Grab your crayons and print free coloring pages from my Coloring Book page.

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Buy the book that inspired this free e-course!

Available as a paperback and e-book on Amazon.com.

This lesson revolves around nurturing what we want to grow and allowing ourselves to feel all our emotions without judgement. Self-care is vital to healing from depression.  Finding our true self is not easy when we feel too depressed to do much of anything, but it helps us create a strong foundation to continue healing, and not revert to our old ways of living.

Nurture What You Want to Grow!

“What do you want to nurture?” This may be one of the best questions to ask as we start another revolution around the sun.

As I continue forward with creating a healthy life of balance, how I answer is very important. The years have been full of grief, healing, transition, taking chances and many new friendships. Since I no longer have my mother’s presence I’ve learned to be my own “guide”, encouraging myself to be courageous, take chances, speak up and say “YES!” I’ve failed at these often and it’s difficult to not allow those failures to push me backward. But I cannot go back to the fearful person I once was.

Have you ever experienced a profound lesson and were then unable to see the world as before? It’s both liberating and scary. Suddenly we have no choice but to change. We can’t unlearn. We may attempt to ignore it, but once we have new knowledge it becomes a part of us. We have changed.

In the new year, I want to nurture new lessons so they become habits. This means paying close attention to my thoughts, words and actions. I will have to remind myself constantly or I will forget and become frustrated. However, it will be worthwhile once those lessons become ingrained in my mind. It’s important to remember there will always be new lessons and to be open to those.

Does this sound like a lot? Commit to tiny changes, work on as little or as much as you want. What matters is YOU choosing what is most important to your true self.

Action:

1. Reflecting on the past year, what has served me?
2. What has stunted me?
3. What do I want to nurture?
4. How can I do that?
5. What resources are already available?
6. What new resources do I need to nurture myself?

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Return to the E-Course Main Page for more lessons.

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Feeling overwhelmed from this lesson? Need a fun break?

Grab your crayons and print free coloring pages from my Coloring Book page.

---

Buy the book that inspired this free e-course!

Available as a paperback and e-book on Amazon.com.

When you are depressed, you’re not really in control. You’re under the control of something else and it can be terrifying and frustrating. This course does not promise to make you feel happy. A great side effect of healing is feeling happiness more often, but happiness is not a constant state. For example, I can’t imagine how anyone could feel happy while grieving. After all, loss is a natural part of life.

What I hope you glean from this lesson is a feeling of balance so that you can appreciate being happy, but accept that you are also allowed to feel as awful as possible. Healing from depression doesn’t mean everything is fine. What healing does is give you the foundation to take on the world. For me healing from depression allows me a deep knowing that despite the current state of things, I can still thrive.

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Balancing Your Emotions

My emotions used to rule my world and send me on rollercoaster rides of manic highs and depressing lows. With a few years of diligent work on my personal thoughts and actions, I am now able to balance my emotions so that my ride is now steady with much more manageable peaks and dips. I don’t feel perfect all the time, but does anybody? Life after all is a variety of emotions. Being sad or upset isn’t fun, but if we’re careful we can take how we feel and turn that into a lesson for how we react in future situations. Paying attention to our emotions also allows us to better gauge if other people are good to have in our life or if we need to stay clear of them.

Seven steps to find balance in your emotions:

• Pay attention to how you feel. Am I hurt, sad, anxious, unsettled or angry?
• Choose whether to let that emotion take control. Is this a good time to feel this way or will allowing this emotion to continue cause me more problems?
• Look at problems from a different perspective. Write down the reason you feel this way and imagine alternate ways you can feel about it.
• Find a solution or a different path. Choose one of those alternates and go with it.
• Be patient and loving towards yourself. Accept that like everybody, you are imperfect. Accept and love yourself for your ability to change, grow, and learn. One of my favorite sayings is, “I am perfectly imperfect.”
• Focus on feeling good and healthy, not constantly happy. Stay balanced with breathing exercises, grounding, short meditations, or affirmations. Know that you can only do so much and that it’s okay to just be present in your situation. Work on what you can and think of the future only in terms of how you can solve problems. Don’t focus on concerns or worries because that won’t get you anywhere. As my grandma likes to say, ‘Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. You’re doing something, but not getting anywhere.
• Remove unhealthy people from your life. You don’t need those who are negative and insist on pulling you into drama situations. If someone makes you feel bad or unsettled then keep them at a distance. You deserve family and friends who respect you and your boundaries. We are all deserving of happiness despite mistakes we make. With inner peace our lives improve because we aren’t muddled with problems and worries. You decide when to soften your edges and when to set strict boundaries.

Action:

Write in your journal about the strongest emotions you felt today:

• What emotions ruled my life today?

Think of a specific moment when you felt very emotional today. Look at it from a different perspective and pretend that you are watching someone else feel this way. Do this in a non-judgmental manner. This exercise is to help you analyze your emotions, not judge how you should or should not feel.

• Why did they feel that way?
• How else could they have responded?
• What might have happened if they responded differently?

 

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Return to the E-Course Main Page for your next lesson.

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Feeling overwhelmed from this lesson?

Need a fun break?

Grab your crayons and print free coloring pages from my Coloring Book page.

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(This course is FREE because it is supported by fans of my work on my  Patreon page and my Ko-fi page. If you are able and willing to support this course, join me on Patreon and receive rewards each month!)

Name your intention.

Are you ready to heal?

You must answer YES for any guidance or therapy to help. If you aren’t ready and willing to heal your depression than nothing in this book will help. The hard truth is real sustainable healing starts within your own mind and body. It starts with you making a choice.

I wasn’t ready for a long time, but there came a day when I realized the only thing I was ready for was to heal. Without healing my depression, grief and fears I knew my life would never feel whole. I would never find that healthy balance that would allow me to follow my dreams and make a difference in the world.

Be prepared. You must set your intention and take action if you want to heal. Ending depression doesn’t happen overnight. You might feel great after reading this or doing a few actions, but if you don’t commit to long-term action your depression will return. I’m speaking from my own experience.   For most of us depression is a lifelong issue. It may never go away completely, but we can continue to live through each stage and move forward for better health. Each time we’re able to stop depression from taking hold we become stronger.

Life is filled with stress, failures, grief and loss. These will knock you off-balance and bend you into a pretzel, but with intention you can untangle yourself and return to your core. Remember that you are in control. Remember that healing takes time

Action:

Say your intention out loud and repeat it three times!

Write it in your journal.

*Keep your intention with you by writing a note and putting it in your wallet or bag.

*Example of intention: “My intention is to heal my pain with loving kindness toward myself. I will use tools that will strengthen my mental health. When I get angry, frustrated or sad I will use compassion to remember that I am on a healing path and healing takes time.”

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Return to the E-Course Main Page for your next lesson.

---

Feeling overwhelmed from this lesson?

Need a fun break?

Grab your crayons and print free coloring pages from my Coloring Book page.

---

(This course is FREE because it is supported by fans of my work on my  Patreon page and my Ko-fi page. If you are able and willing to support this course, join us and receive rewards each month!)

Together and one by one,  we can revolutionize the world with self love!

How does that work?

When you love yourself unconditionally,  it’s easier to show compassion and love to others.

 

Self love isn’t “retail therapy” or going to a spa. It’s an internal attitude and belief system.

You are imperfectly perfect. You only need to convince yourself, not the world.

Check out this blog often for free coloring books, DIY Therapy posts and resources to revolutionize your life.

Hugs, Leah