In mental health training we are encouraged to help someone who is ill create a safety plan. A safety plan can be especially helpful if you are suicidal. Here is a basic list that you can modify for your personal needs.
Warning Signs:
What makes you feel sad, lonely, angry or apathetic?
Healthy Coping Strategies:
What helps you feel relaxed, safe and comforted?
Supportive People:
Include their name and contact info.
Professional Support:
Include their name and contact info.
What other info would you want to add to your safety plan?
If you love receiving valentines, how about writing yourself love notes throughout the year? Below are sample love notes. I encourage you to write your own unique notes as well!
“Hello you beautiful unique light. Thank you for today. You are capable. You are a natural problem solver. You are compassionate. You are an inspiring creative being.”
“You are a little stronger than yesterday. Eres un poco mas fuerte que ayer.”
“You are the light we need in this world.”
A body love letter: “You are my home, my constant friend. I cannot live without you. I’m so grateful for all of my body. I am lucky to be so healthy. You are wonderful and beautiful. Thank you.”
“Please remember you are amazing.”
“I hope today feels balanced, joyful, productive, relaxing and full of laughter. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Live it well. Love and peace from your secret admirer.”
“Your journey is valid. Don’t allow the world to shame you for your skin color, weight, abilities, education, beliefs, failures, sexual orientation, mental health or failures. You deserve a life of love.”
“You are intelligent, capable, accomplished, a shining light in my world. You are also imperfect and for all of those reasons I love you.”
In healing my depression, my diet was another “Aha!” moment. All the sugar and processed food wasn’t just making me physically ill, but it was also worsening my depression. Once I learned about the connection between food and mental health I knew I had to change my eating habits. This was definitely not an overnight change. Nachos, soda, ice cream, and cappuccino were just a few of my favorite comfort foods. It took me years to stop the addiction of junk food. Between the addicting properties of these foods and their availability at any corner store, my instant gratification was fully in control. But after a while of not eating these foods I could feel how much my energy improved and how I felt emotionally.
It was challenging and took a long time to create healthier habits, but I eventually gave up the daily dose of sodas and candy. You don’t have to give everything up, just abstain from the constant instant gratification and comfort of unhealthy food. I’m not saying you can never have another bowl of ice cream with cookies and caramel, but when you eat better you feel better. Instead I choose flavorful healthy foods. When I’m feeling unsettled and eat processed comfort food, my physical health actually causes me to start feeling depressed. My body is very clearly telling me that it does not like what I’m feed it.
What really helped me was switching to a vegetarian diet. I always felt a smidgen of guilt when eating meat because of my life long connection with animals, but learning about unethical practices in the meat industry pushed me to change my diet even more so. A vegetarian diet may not be best for you. However, if you decide to try not eating meat and have any health issues than please consult your doctor first and do your research into what is actually healthy for your body.
A perk of changing your diet is the new opportunities that show up. For me it has been in the form of farmers markets and activism. It’s a chance to accomplish four things that are important to me. I can support local. I can do what’s good for the environment. I can buy fresh healthy food free of all the hormones and chemicals present in most products at the grocery store. I can meet more like-minded people.
Movement is also important in healing from depression. I can see the difference in how I feel during times when I have limited exercise. I’m not getting an energy boost or endorphins during my more sedentary moments. My body feels more tired when I don’t move as often and this causes me to feel mentally drained. Everything we do is connected. Movement in the form of dance, yoga and walking has helped me feel good. It’s given me more love for my body and better physical health which is good for my mental health.
Instead of thinking of exercise as something you have to do, think of it as something you can enjoy. Try activities that inspire you and keep your interest. Dance, bicycle, practice yoga, walk, surf, swim, or hula hoop. If you want a real challenge, train for a 5k charity run. If you need accountability join a group or find a buddy.
Start where you’re comfortable. Don’t focus on making giant changes. Start with baby steps.
What can you change about your diet?
What movement or exercise feels good to you?
What would make your body feel good and your heart sing?
Like the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. Imagine if we lived in a world where laughter could heal broken bones or banish cancer! Clearly it’s not the only medicine we need, but wow can it change the mood. I love comedy. I love political humor as much as I like sarcasm and silly children’s jokes. Laughing always makes me feel a little lighter.
“Laughter isn’t even the other side of tears. It is tears turned inside out. Truly the suffering is great, here on earth. We blunder along, shredded by our mistakes, bludgeoned by our faults. Not having a clue where the dark path leads us. But on the whole, we stumble along bravely don’t you think?” Alice Walker
For example, on a recent evening I was walking home and crying over the death of a friend. I was trying my best not to let it out too loudly, but could just feel all the pain and grief rising stronger. Suddenly one of the friendly neighborhood dogs rushed past me on the sidewalk. I had never seen this dog out by itself and when I looked around there was nobody in sight. I tired to get it to go back into the yard since the gate was open, but it wouldn’t listen. I called out for help, but instead of a person another dog showed up. I finally ushered them inside and yet another dog showed up. I don’t know why this struck me as so funny, but I started laughing. Failing to corral the dogs into the yard was so ridiculous, as if I was in a cartoon. That unexpected comedy gave me a burst of joy. I made it home feeling better than I had all day.
“Perhaps the situation should not be taken so seriously.”
One saying I heard often growing up was “We are all gods comic strip.” My (agnostic) mother loved to tell that one liner and most of the time I agree. The world is beautiful, terrible and ridiculous. It’s very hard to take life seriously when I look around at all that happens. We are not guaranteed any amount of time in this life. We can live to be over one hundred or not even make it to elementary school.
Sometimes I just can’t comprehend the things people do to themselves and each other. I find that having a good laugh as often as possible really helps me stay balanced. My to-do list is never ending, but now and then instead of working on a project or studying I stop and find something funny to read or watch.
What makes you laugh? Create a self care comedy list:
What are my favorite shows?
Who are my favorite comedians?
What books, movies and shows give me the most joy?
Pick up a paintbrush or crayons or just a pencil and express your emotions. Expressive art therapy is a real thing and it is very healing.
Learn an instrument like guitar, violin, piano or ukulele and create your own music.
Create an art collage with a positive and encouraging message for yourself.
Take a bucket of sidewalk chalk out to the streets and write positive messages on the sidewalk.
Create your own magazine just for yourself or to share with family and friends.
Paint, sculpt, draw, collage, knit, yarn bomb, take up photography, just do something that moves your spirit into a place of creation.
One of my favorite self-care creative outlets is coloring. When I was feeling desolate about my job search last year I started creating a coloring book full of healthy affirmations because I love affirmations and love to color. It came out so well that I shared it with family and friends so they could add a little positive creativity to their life. Now I make a new coloring book almost every month. You can print out my free coloring books on the Coloring Book page.
Whenever you start to feel unwanted feelings or need a reason to get up out of bed it helps to have healthy reminders that inspire you.
Write yourself love notes and leave around your house, room, office space, even your wallet.
Find inspiring poems and quotes that give you a sense of healing and purpose.
Cover your walls with art and colors that brighten your mood.
One of my favorite writings about emotions is ‘The Guest House’ by Rumi. A good friend and mentor shared it with me and I read it often to remind me to allow myself to feel what I need to heal.
“This being human is a guest house. Each morning a new arrival. A joy, depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of all it’s furniture, still treat each guest honorably. She/He may be clearing you out for some new delight.” – Rumi
Solution Focused therapy is about focusing on the solution, as opposed to traditional therapy which focuses on the problem.
Focus on the first options. What are the first, second, or third signs you see in your dream resolution?
There are exceptions to every problem. Identify and analyze those to find a solution.
Look for bright spots. What works?
Research and investigate those bright spots to see how you can replicate them.
Change your mindset from “What’s broken that I can fix?” to “What’s working that I can replicate?”
For example, don’t just say you want your family or friends to be more compassionate. Give examples of compassionate acts, words and thoughts they can do for you when you’re feeling depressed. Don’t just say you are going to start a project. Write out a plan to complete it and hold yourself accountable.
Imagery can be one of your self-care tools. Focusing on an image and guiding yourself into a new mental space can help you step away from unwanted emotions or anxiety that are causing you stress. When I get stuck in my head and negatively react to others I will take the elevator to my heart.
In my mind the elevator is a calming blue color with soft waves of dark blues and greens. The doors have a large butterfly mural reminding me that transformation is part of life. There are only two buttons; one to my brain and one to my heart. The buttons are a cheerful yellow that reminds me of sunshine and warmth. As I begin my descent to my heart, the air cools off and I feel lighter. Gentle loving thoughts enter my brain and beautiful violin music plays Canon in D Minor, my favorite song. The doors open to piles of soft fluffy pillows that look like clouds. A warm golden light and a scent of the ocean fill the air. There are books, snacks and fresh brewed tea for me to enjoy. I feel peaceful and able to rest here in safety and love.
Your imagery can be whatever you want it to be. Maybe your elevator is blasting loud dance music or your favorite blues singer. Maybe your heart is a rock concert or your favorite hiking spot. It can be dark and quiet or loud and cheerful. The idea is simply to visualize a place where YOU feel safe and peaceful.
In the beginning meditation always seemed too intimidating. I could never make it to thirty minutes of not thinking. Even 5 minutes was often too much to handle. Then I found guided meditation and this worked great. I could totally focus on the voice of another for thirty minutes or more. I enjoyed and despised a variety of podcasts and videos until I found the ones that worked for me.
One of my favorite meditation practices focuses on awareness, clarity, focus and peace.
-Awareness: I’m aware of my body and how it feels.
-Clarity: I see that I need to rest, listen more and practice self-care. (What do you need?)
-Focus: I will focus on incorporating these actions into my daily rituals.
-Peace: By doing this I create ripples of peace in my life that spread into our world.
Become conscious of your actions. When your intuition speaks do you resist or react in accordance to the guidance? When making decisions about money, relationships or personal goals we often repeat thoughts we’ve learned from others which tend to be negative or don’t work in our particular situation. Learn to differentiate between helpful and learned behavior by asking one simple question. “Is this sustainable?”
Pema Chodron is a famous Buddhist nun who has guided meditations for millions of people. I love her talks and often listen to one before sleep. She is very wise without taking life too seriously. She has quite a few videos on YouTube.
There are different methods for mindfulness and my favorites usually center around being very still and silent. I also love taking mindful walks which allow me to see what I usually rush past. Mindful walks are especially fun in new places. What better way to connect with a place then by consciously looking, feeling and listening to what surrounds you?
Grounding is helpful when I’m feeling anxious or rushed, but need to be present. Often before I began in the garden I practice grounding so I can focus on being present and enjoying the activity instead of contemplating every single little thing that needs to be completed. To ground is rather simple. Start by noticing your breath. Is it rapid, all over the place or slow and steady? Began slow, deep breathing. I find that taking three deep inhales and exhales helps me ground.
From here I choose one of my favorite breath movements or affirmations:
Visualize your favorite place: Bring it to life in your mind by focusing on as many little details as you can recall. Perhaps it’s a mountain meadow full of flowers, your favorite café with walls covered in art or a sanctuary space you retreat into. It can even be a place you’ve never visited. Use your imagination to create and bring to life a safe space. Your mind will drift this way and that so to stay in this safe space you can try focusing on your breathing.
Notice your breathing. If it is erratic or you’re feeling anxious, slow down your breathing. Sometimes it helps me to mentally say “Breathe In/Aspirar” with each in breath and “Breathe Out/ Espirar” with each out breath. You can also count your breaths. I like to count to 100 and then count backwards to one.
Use repetitive intentions: I choose a word or sentence to describe my intention and mentally say it with each breath. For example you can choose to breathe in awareness. So with each breath say “breathing in awareness” followed by “breathing out awareness”. If I’m having trouble falling asleep because of all the thoughts in my head I mentally repeat the sentence “Rest in silence and stillness.”
Make noise: Create a humming noise like “Om”. I like to use this when I cannot concentrate because it forces me to consciously continue making the noise. Sometimes I will need to do this for a few minutes and then I can focus on my breathing or counting.
Use movement meditation: If you have a lot of energy like I do or if you’re feeling very unsettled, try a walking meditation. I love to do this when I feel a lot of pent up energy. I choose two to three words to continuously repeat, I carry a bracelet of wooden beads to move with my fingers and I pace back and forth in my room or walk around a park. This creates a rhythm to help me stay focused.
Circle Affirmation: My peaceful thoughts become peaceful words, become peaceful actions, become peaceful thoughts, become peaceful words, become peaceful actions, become peaceful thoughts…
Now if you’re feeling grounded you can start a new task or continue on with your activities. If you’re still feeling ungrounded then start over with the deep breaths or try sitting/standing in silence.
“Awareness of the present moment clears away mental obstacles.”
Individual Empowerment 