Social Action

Breaking News: A New Lifestyle Uncovered On Earth!

 Diversity, acceptance, and tolerance is a new LIFESTYLE taking hold of young and old alike! Is it happening in YOUR community?

Embrace.LifestyleOkay, so it’s not actually new, there have always been groups of people living in harmony with others, but it sure seems new. If you read the history books in school you’d think that the only lifestyle humanity celebrates are violent, barbaric, ignorant, bloody and hateful. Ugh! Is it any wonder kids are bullied in school and feel suicidal when they constantly learn how awful people are. Do we really expect a 16 year old to feel confident in the face of harassment backed up by thousands of years worth of proof that mean is standard? And for that matter are we surprised when kids become bullies with this reinforcement?

We were born to love ourselves so why shouldn’t that include love for others? As I have mentioned before and no doubt will mention again, being raised in a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural, loving family I EXPECT for people to be accepting of others differences. Despite the various hate and prejudices thrown my way and towards my family, at my core I am still surprised and saddened when people are so full of hate. I just don’t get it. So thank goodness for all the amazing people who stand for acceptance, tolerance and love of others.  One of those people is oddly enough someone  who I rolled my eyes at when I first heard about them. More proof to myself that judging someone I don’t know is LAME!

When Lady Gaga emerged as the newest pop start my first thought was, “There goes another stereotypical person who wants to be famous by freaking people out”.  I was not impressed that the media was giving some singer more attention than “real” issues like science and human rights. Of course it is hard not to hear about her due to the mass publicity over her unique wardrobe and this is one time when our celebrity obsessed society is a good thing. Because it turns out she is much more than just another pop star. She is a role model because she started the Born This Way Foundation.org to celebrate individualism and teach youth to build a world of acceptance.  She is one of those people celebrating a lifestyle that accepts everyone.   The foundations mission is simple “We believe that everyone has the right to feel safe, to be empowered and to make a difference in the world. Together, we will move towards acceptance, bravery and love.” I believe that too. Now I am impressed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfK0tBTsZ14

What Differences Do You Love About Others?

What Amazing Person Makes You Feel Good About the Future of the Human Race?

Leave a comment below.

🙂

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment, Self Defense

Fierce Fridays: Emotional Self Defense

feminist writers, learn about feminism, teaching girls feminism, Fierce, Generation of female empowerment Welcome to week thirteen of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for any age female who needs a reminder of how fierce they can be. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. Share these posts with all the girls and women in your life.  Enjoy!

Emotional Self Defense

 You are capable of standing up for yourself. Even with precautions and smarts, anyone can be a victim. If you do all that you can and you are still abused, it is not your fault. Abusers come in all sizes, colors, and cultures, they choose to hurt and that is their fault, not the people they hurt. Victim blame is a popular phenomenon of making those who suffer feel as if they did something wrong.  Do not fall into this line of thinking. Yes if you juggle saws and cut your arm, then it is your fault, but getting hurt by someone else after you went into a situation that may or may not be dangerous is still not your fault. We each choose and are responsible for how we treat others. We cannot blame someone else if we hurt them or say they were asking for it.

There are three main keys to prevention.

  • Learn to follow your intuition.
  • Be aware of warning signs
  • Have a strong sense of self worth so you can stand up for yourself and fight back.

Intuition is not some magical quality that only certain people are endowed with. EVERYONE has it. You simply need to be aware of your inner guidance system. Intuition is also called “following your gut” or “listening to your heart”.  Label it however you want. You have it and you have the ability to use it.

  • Do you ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach or those thoughts in your head that something is not quite right?
  • Have warning bells gone off that are telling you to get out of a situation as soon as possible?
  • Do you think maybe this person has an ulterior motive?
  • Does a story you are being told sound untrue?

Ask your intuition “What should I do in this situation? What will be the best first step?” These answers are all feelings of intuition and you can follow those feelings to keep yourself, your friends and your family safe. Sometimes intuition can also feel like nerves. So until you are really in tune with your inner guide you can look for warning signs.

Record your intuitive decisions in a journal. When you encounter an important event write down what happened, how you felt, what your intuition told you and what action you took. Did you follow your instincts? Did you ignore your instincts? What was the outcome? You can later return to your journal to look for patterns and to see how often you do or don’t listen to yourself and whether something turned out to be a good or bad decision.

!Warning Signs! When you are with new people it is important to listen to what they say and be aware of what they want from you. You can get warning signs from people and places. So be aware of your surroundings too.

  • How do they treat you? If someone treats you with respect you are not as likely to be used or abused. However even than there are warning signs from people who suddenly or slowly change their attitude around you. Do they act different around their family or friends compared to when you are alone?  Like a friend that turns into a bully they begin to put you down maybe as a joke at first and slowly become crueler.
  • Are they being more friendly than usual? A manipulator will often charm you into doing what they want without considering how it may affect you. A popular example of this is when someone you admire asks you to do something that you are not comfortable with, but you do it anyway to prove your worth. Often the asker knows very well that you are going against your gut, but feel they can make you do what they want anyway.
  • Did they just guilt trip you? A manipulator will use guilt as a tool to make you feel as if you should do what they want. They usually cry “poor me” or insist that you always get your way.  Guilt is used when someone feels bad about what they did, to deflect blame, or to get revenge. When you are assaulted with guilt turn the tables. Ask the other person if they are purposely trying to guilt trip you. Ask if they are feeling bad and would like to talk about it. These questions let the person know that you are not visiting guilt town with them. You can then try and find a solution together.
  • Do they say disparaging or negative remarks about others, about gender or race? If your date puts down your gender than they probably will not respect you later on in the relationship.  If your friend has prejudices that you personally find offensive, their view is not likely to change. People often have this idea that we can change someone else so that person is more like us and thus easier to get along with. The flaw in this idea is that real change must come from each individual.

Strange Places and Faces! If you are in an unfamiliar area be aware of your surroundings. Only you can decide if this new place is safe.

  • Is it clean or dirty? If the area you are in is in disrepair or very dirty than the people who are there may not have respect for that area, neighbors, or visitors. This is not a safe place to be. If the place is clean, but the people have a negative attitude it can also be unsafe. So it is important to pay attention to the people and your surroundings.
  • Are you in a well lit or public area with lots of people milling around?  If you are in an isolated area and something happens to you such as an injury, harassment or an attack there may not be anyone to help you.
  • Are other people friendly and polite?
  • Do you feel ignored or are people rude towards you?
  • What will you do if a problem arises?
  • Do you see a place to go for help such as a police station, hospital or welcome center?
  • Are you with someone you trust to stay with you and stand up for you?

Communicate! Use your voice. A lot of problems can be prevented when we clearly communicate what we want, need, and do or do not like. People are not mind readers. You may feel like your attitude is telling people what you think, which is often true but this is a dangerous idea. Saying one thing and acting in an opposing manner will give other people a chance to take advantage of you or think that you want something you don’t.  Keep your words and actions in sync.  Be brave and stand up. Don’t let fear keep you from protecting yourself.

When someone is harassing you tell them that you do not like it and ask them to stop. It is important to use an even tone of voice. Sometimes when we get upset we use a mocking or angry tone. This tone will only escalate the situation by creating a defensive feeling in the other person. Staying calm is also important if you need to report harassment to the authorities or a supervisor. There are occasions where letting your anger shine through can protect you, but this is generally in the face of immediate physical danger, not emotional abuse.

Emotional abusers want to rile you up and make you do something that looks bad on your part. Keeping calm and speaking in an even tone prevents your abuser from holding the power. If they cannot get a reaction out of you they will most likely leave you alone. I have had several instances of harassment where I ignored the person and they left me alone. Here is a list of what you can say to an emotional abuser.

  • I don’t appreciate that sort of talk about women (people/race/religion/orientation).
  • I don’t feel that is funny.  That is not funny to me.
  • Please stop doing that. Please stop saying that.
  • You do not have a right to harass me.
  • This school or job is not an appropriate place to say those things (act that way).
  • I will report you to a supervisor if you continue to harass me.
  • I will call the authorities if you continue to harass me.

It is imperative when dating or in a relationship to communicate your wants and needs in the beginning. From violent break ups and stalkers to date or acquaintance rape some situations can be (but not necessarily will be) avoided by simply communicating and being up front about your feelings, expectations and limits. If you are not looking for a serious relationship than tell your partner from the start. If you do not want to have sex with someone tell them before you go to their apartment. Share your boundaries with them and also with family and friends. This way those you are close to can confirm that you had in fact previously communicated what the other person should expect from you.

  • I like you and want to get to know you, but I am not ready for a sexual (physical) relationship.
  • Kissing does not mean that we will have sex.
  • I don’t want to see you anymore.

If the other person refuses to let you go or leave you alone yell for help.  It is said that yelling the words Fire or Police are more likely to bring help than Help or Rape. If you are in a familiar place than seek help from an authority figure. If they cannot help you find the next person in charge and so on until you can find someone to help you. Communicating your distress is important if you need help. If someone continues to bother you, constantly texts, emails and calls you, or follows you than report them right away. This is basic stalker behavior. They get obsessed with you and can become violent.

Be Strong! Doubting your own strength and capabilities turns you into a victim. Each and every one of us has specific talents and qualities that allow us to solve problems and adapt to new situations. By focusing on those skills you will feel competent and not be afraid to take action.

  • How do you react to stress?
  • How do you naturally respond to stress and pressure from others?
  • Do you become so upset you lash out?
  • Do you get flustered and have a hard time clearly communicating?
  • In what way can that reaction be turned into a positive action?
  • Practice, practice, practice!  Teach yourself to react in a way that does not escalate negative emotions or violence. Remember what you learned in the Stress and Anger Management section. Use those suggestions to train yourself how to react in a healthy way when anyone hassles you …Continue reading at Bookemon.com

 

Empowering Discussions

UP TO YOU: A call to action and a book marketing plan

With the publication of my latest book,  “How Will You Create Positive Change?”, I have created an initiative to encourage community volunteerism and maybe even sell some books along the way.  It is called Up To You, because we each have to BE the change we want to see and it really is up to us. Volunteering is an easy way to create a better world which includes safer and healthier communities for ourselves and our families.

So far, I have a logo, a Facebook page, and a marketing plan already done. I am asking all 16 of the featured people in this book to create a short video about their work and this initiative. I am creating banner ads, sending out press releases, and soon will print some shirts with the logo (below) to giveaway. The logo is an arrow for UP, a peace sign for TO(two) and a U for you.  I love this logo. It’s now in the top ten of my designs.

changeisup2u, up to you, volunteerism

volunteer organization, local volunteer opportunities

The Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/changeisup2u

I started volunteering in college and love to see the rewards of helping and supporting my community.  It also happens to be a good way of making friends and networking. This ability to help without expectations of return is a wonderful aspect of life. I believe we are ALL capable of it. Even the monsters of my past have done amazingly kind acts for others. Don’t bother trying to convince me that anyone is incapable of volunteering. They may not be willing, but that’s a different story.

WHAT’S YOUR VOLUNTEER STORY?

Empowering Discussions

Role Model: Linda Le of San Diego Veg Fest

Do you ever think about the food you eat and what all those ingredients are that you can’t pronounce without a dictionary? As technology has progressed much of our food has become processed, full of preservatives, and plumped up with hormones. While our food may last longer and cost less, it isn’t necessarily healthier. Linda Le started San Diego Veg Fest to give the opportunity for others to learn about healthier and tastier foods. Her work has the added bonuses of being environmentally sustainable and bringing together members of her community.

What was your inspiration or what necessitated you to begin this adventure? San Diego Veg Festival emerged from my passion for healthy and compassionate living. I saw the need for a veg festival. Being a San Diego native (I was raised here most of my life and lived in the Bay Area for 6 years for college), I was surprised we didn’t have a veg festival considering the fact that every big, metropolitan city in the US has a veg festival.

As a daughter of Vietnamese American refugees, I am thankful for my background. I grew up with access to year-round, fresh produce. It was there in the comfort of my parents’ backyard garden that I developed an understanding of the interconnected energy between what we consume and how it affects our planet. I spent time meditating with a very inspirational and compassionate Sangha in Oakland, California during my undergraduate studies in the Bay Area. They inspired me to frequent monasteries where I volunteered in the organic gardens and cultivated compassionate eating. Such experiences taught me to honor the practice of mindful, vegan eating—with such lasting impacts that I underwent a spiritual awakening.

Recent events such as the declaration of National Food Day on October 24th, the contributions of the First Lady’s Let’s Move campaign, and the presence of Proposition 37 on this year’s California ballot have helped to really push the issue of health to the forefront of our public consciousness. We can see it at the local level in San Diego. We have about 70 restaurants that offer veg-friendly items on their menus, and that list keeps growing. We are not converting people–rather, we want to educate people of healthy lifestyle choices and plant the seeds of consciousness.

I get inspiration from many areas of my life. There is so much inspiration in our daily lives if we choose to be aware. I follow current news, community events, policies, campaigns in order to understand the dynamic world that we live in. I look at leaders from our past and present for inspiration also. One in particular is a compassionate, Zen Buddhist Monk named ThichNhatHanh. I find his quote very inspiring: “Each moment is a chance for us to make peace with the world, to make peace possible for the world, to make happiness possible for the world.” It makes me feel like my personal eating choices are not so personal because this singular action has a ripple effect on our immediate environment. 

What steps did you take to create your program?  It started off as a side project while I was the Managing Director of San Diego Health Fairs (SDHF). At the time, which was last spring of 2012, I was working with an intern at SDHF. Business was going well with SDHF but I felt like there was something more I could be doing to contribute to the health of San Diegans. With the launch of Our Greater San Diego Vision, I felt compelled to think about the long term health of our local community. I knew that I had wanted to visit some other veg festivals in other cities but the more the pondered, the more I questioned why we didn’t have one here. It just all came together in a moment of “aha” epiphany. We then brought on another intern and the three of us began the ground work for what is now the San Diego Veg Festival.

What obstacles were you forced to overcome? Like every start-up, the issues of defining ourselves such as branding and choosing particular events to participate in so that we can best serve our mission of healthy, sustainable living. Another issue we are dealing with is funding for our festival. Being that we all volunteered our time and energy, we have to look at how we want to structure ourselves so that we can continue to do this work for years to come.

What were the hardest problems to solve or actions to take? I’m in grad school for holistic health/acupuncture so that takes up a lot of my time. I also enjoy volunteering my time with progressive organizations in San Diego. Therefore, time management is a big obstacle for me. I find myself needing to be more disciplined with planning and defining my days, weeks, months.

What must you do to stay operational? Currently, we are looking at the 2013 agenda and working to acquire sponsors to at least cover the overhead costs for the venue and printing costs.

Who, if anyone, helped you succeed? Many people and things have helped San Diego Veg Festival to succeed. It’s great to know that it’s being supported by the community. It’s about the network that allows for us to do well, and we were able to pitch the idea and event to partners that have similar missions. The San Diego Veg Festival received very well reception from them. These include: the online veg-friendly community like Happy Cow and Plant Powered Living, other veg festivals across the nation, local press coverage, local businesses such as Veg Appeal, World Beat Center in Balboa Park, Jimbo’s grocery store, Loving Hut restaurant, as well as organizations like the Animal Protection and Rescue League,  Green Lifestyles Film Festival, San Diego Master Gardener Association, Pacific College of Oriental Medicine, True Kitchen Creatives, Operation Samahan, and local Community Supported Agriculture programs.

Do you have any advice for readers who want to get involved or start a similar program? Believe in your vision 110%. If you are not the most ardent, firm believer in your vision, no one else will believe in you. I would use the metaphor of growing your own garden. The seeds must be ready to be planted so know yourself well. Know your boundaries and your values. Once your seeds are ready to be sprouted, be prudent: do your research and ask for collaborative supporters! Look at the seasons. Look at the possible strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Plan accordingly and create a budget for overhead costs that you may not even anticipate but are necessary in the execution of your vision. Know the sunny days but be aware of the rainy seasons too. Like a great soil foundation, building a team can be your greatest foundation so that you don’t burn out—but not just any team…I once read: “If you are the smartest person on your team, then you do not have a strong team.” Lastly, be original and claim it. No one wants to just plant peas and radish. Add kale, strawberries and micro-greens! Make your program unique and stand out. There is a niche for almost everything. If you are a firm believer of your vision, you will cultivate supporters. Happy growing.

SanDiegoVegFestival.com

Email to volunteer at Veg Fest:  info@sandiegovegfestival.com

Facebook.com/sandiegovegfestival

Follow on Twitter: sandiegovegfest

Instagram: sandiegovegfest …This interview is from a  book that includes 15 other amazing people who are creating positive change. You can read the full book and buy a copy for your school at Bookemon.com

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment, Self Defense

Fierce Fridays: Physical Self Defense

feminist writers, learn about feminism, teaching girls feminism, Fierce, Generation of female empowerment  Welcome to week twelve of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for any age female who needs a reminder of how fierce they can be. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. Share these posts with all the girls and women in your life.  Enjoy!

Physical Self Defense

  Awareness = Prevention: Whether you are walking alone or with a group, day or night, in “good” or “bad” neighborhoods you have to BE AWARE!  If someone gets too close that’s when you make noise. Pull out your phone and make a call, put distance and space between you and them, wave and yell “Hi, Sarah” in the direction of an imaginary friend, cross the street, go inside a store, or start acting crazy and scare them off. If someone get too close firmly and loudly tell them to stop, yell NO, GET BACK, POLICE or FIRE and move away from them. If someone is less than 3 feet from your body that is your personal space and you have the right to fight back.

Legally you can physically fight back once someone touches you.

Freeze Stance: Create a firm position by standing with your legs shoulder length apart. Put your arms up as if you were doing push ups to put space between you. This is classic stance that allows you to deflect any blows to your body. Either extend and straighten your arms with your palms facing out to put distance between you OR bend your elbows and keep your hands closer to your body. Yell or in a firm clear voice say, “NO”, “STOP” or “GET BACK”. If you need to draw attention from others yell “POLICE”, “I NEED HELP” or “FIRE”.

Once you have created a physical boundary with your arms you can use one or all three of the following moves in a combination to stop the attacker.

Palm Strike: Use the heel of your palm to strike the attackers nose, eyes, cheek or forehead. Your goal is to disable the person so you can get away, so when you strike use all your strength. Step forward towards them to give yourself extra momentum. Continue to yell for help as you strike your attacker.

Groin Kick:  Kick as hard as you can. Kick with your foot or use your knee to hit the target. Use all your might to cause enough pain so they cannot hurt you. Remember, if someone is physically attacking you they want to hurt you. Don’t hesitate to hurt them so you can get to a safe place. This is a classic defense move against men because it works!

Knee Strike: This move works best if your attacker bends over from a previous hit. Grab their head or shoulders and pull them down while at the same time lifting your knee up to hit their stomach. Once you have kneed your attacker push them away from you and run to safety.

Wrist Twist: If they grab your arm use your free hand to grab and twist their wrist. Twist it as hard as you can. This will

Backwards Attack: If you are grabbed from behind stomp your foot down and dig your heel into their foot and twist your body back and forth to get out of the hold. Stomp onto their feet as much as possible. You can also propel yourself forward to knock off their balance. Throw your head back into their face. Your skull is heavy and will cause pain. Once your hands are free use the palm strike. Use your leg to kick, and your knee to hit. Run to safety.

Scratch or Bite: Scratch your attackers face, neck or arms to cause pain. Draw blood. Not only does it cause pain to be scratched, it also gives you DNA under your fingernails so if you want to report the crime you will have some proof of who attacked you. If they put a hand over your mouth keep moving your head around until you can bite their hand. You do not need to draw blood, but biting hurts and will help you get away. Don’t freak out about catching germs, if you get blood in your mouth spit it out.

Get AwayNever let an attacker bring you into a car or a building. Once they get you in a car or in their house you will most likely be beaten, raped, tortured, and killed. Smart girls and women do not get in a car with a boy, a man, or a group they barely know. Even if they have a gun or knife you are more likely to survive if you stay in public. Gang rape happens. Sex trafficking happens. Murder happens.  This information is not meant to scare you. It is meant to educate you so you are aware that danger exists and YOU have the power to protect yourself.

BE AWARE, DON’T LIVE IN FEAR.

A combination of moves allows you to immobilize your attacker so they cannot run after you.  Just one hit may not be enough, so practice these combo moves.  Practice with a friend. Have them hold up a thick cushion or pillow and try different combinations of the above moves.  Remember to be aggressive. If you are attacked, use all your strength and anger to fight back and be a survivor not a victim…Continue reading at Bookemon.com

Empowering Discussions

When I am a Best Selling Author like John Scalzi

Selling a million books is my long-term goal in life. This isn’t so I can buy a private jet and diamonds or be in the New York Times(though that last bit does sound great). I want wealth to share with others. Because yes buying shiny, fun, or beautiful things feels good, but they don’t last like love, compassion, and sustainable solutions.  I want to be as rich as Scalzi, Oprah, or even that 26-year-old that just sold her millionth Ebook. There are so many great organizations that could use some funds for resources with a little publicity thrown in for their efforts.

However, even on a limited budget I can still help and so can you. One of the most valuable resources needed to help others and improve our communities is completely free. That resource is people. We are the best resource money cannot buy. This Spring I have been working on an initiative to get people involved and inspired to give their time and skills to those in need and those who are offering fulfillment of those needs. My call to action is “Up To You” and will launch next week. I always end my self-defense classes by telling the participants that preventing violence is up to them. Because we truly must be the change we want to see in the world.  That is how I chose this name. The name also inspired me to create this really cute logo which I hope will become as popular as the Nike swoosh or the Life is Good logo…. It could happen. Life is full of possibilities.

You can see how John Scalzi is using his fame and money to support RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) on his blog. http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/04/18/gamma-rabbit-t-shirt-donation-update/

 

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE DO-GOODER or CELEBRITY PHILANTHROPIST?

🙂

Empowering Discussions

Role Model: Kirin Macapugay of BIBAK Youth San Diego

Preserving and celebrating our culture is a wonderful gift. Culture gives an individual a unique identity and character. It enables us to find value in our lives and gives us a foundation on how to live. Traditions that are passed to each new generation connect older and younger members of family and community by creating common ground. Celebrating our own and other cultures allow us to accept and respect the differences of our world. Kirin Macapugay is preserving her Igorot culture by helping to teach the next generation about their traditions and beliefs through BIBAK Youth San Diego. Aside from passing on traditions they perform and educate other Filipinos and non-Filipino people creating a more accepting and friendly community.

What was your inspiration or what necessitated you to begin this adventure? I am a full blooded Igorota, a term meaning “people of the mountain,” describing the indigenous “tribes” of people from the Philippine Cordilleras. We constitute three percent of the total population. Igorots are historically known for resisting Spanish rule during Spain’s 400 year reign of the Philippines. This was due in large part to the warrior head hunting culture, the mountainous terrain that was difficult to navigate, and the fierce protection of ancestral lands. Unfortunately, this also caused rifts between Igorots and other Filipinos. With little external influence however, we have been able to maintain the same rituals and traditions handed down for thousands of years. To this day, there are challenges for Igorots who still live in the cordilleras. These include a constant struggle to hold political office as well as secure quality education, healthcare, and resources.

The Banaue rice terraces, considered the eighth wonder of the world, were carved into the mountains thousands of years ago by Igorots.  We are also known for cloth weaving, basket weaving, metal works, and adornments.  Music and dance accompany significant life rituals, and different tribes teach their youth particular instrumentation and dance during various life stages. Although my parents emigrated to the United States (via the US Navy) when I was two years old, they continued to practice our traditional rites. My parents taught me about my culture as early as third grade, when my mom dressed me up in a traditional Kalinga tapis (skirt), blouse, and beads for the annual school costume party. She said “no one else will have this, this is unique.” And it was. I was too young to vocalize it at the time, and people just thought I was dressing up as a native American.
I have family pictures of me wearing my traditional tapis (skirt) when I was eight years old. There’s an even earlier photo of me at less than a year old, wearing bongor (beaded necklace) playing in my family clan’s yard in Kalinga, Philippines, where I was born. I was blessed to grow up with unique traditions and cultures, though many times it was not easy explaining these traditions to my other Filipino friends, much less friends of other ethnicities.

BIBAK, which stands for the five tribes of the Cordilleras—Benguet, Ifugao, Bontoc, Apayao, Kalinga–is an organization I consider my extended family. I am both Kalinga (on my mother’s side) and Bontoc (on my father’s).  When I became a young adult, I would assist the younger girls in dressing up in our traditional clothing, coaching them as they danced.  It was a natural transition, teaching the younger ones the way my mom and aunts taught me.

When I became a mother in 2008, I realized I needed to be able to answer the questions my son would have about his heritage. My younger cousins were already asking questions I realized I didn’t have sufficient answers for, like what did the tattoos on my grandmother’s arms, chest, and back mean? What did the music, rituals, customs signify? Why do we spread our arms like wings of birds when we dance?  Why do we consider birds a good omen? Why do we believe our ancestors spirits are constantly present, that they have an active role in our everyday lives?  And why didn’t other Filipinos and Filipino-Americans do/believe the same things? I began delving into the meanings and underlyings of the rituals I knew, which lead me to mapping out my family’s history. I can trace my ancestors back nearly nine generations.  I know that my great great grandfathers down to my father are/were “mingor,” the Kalinga term for exalted warrior.  I witnessed my own father’s datum (warrior ritual) when he returned from the Persian Gulf War, carried out by my grand uncle, a respected elder and scholar. I know that my Bontoc grandmother was a master weaver, that my Bontoc grandfather was a respected sergeant for the Philippine Constabulary during World War II.  I know the great great grandfather for whom my son is named after (we give our children the nick-name of an ancestor, with the belief that ancestor will guard them throughout life) was a warrior, and that my great grandfather was a renowned hunter whom people called “the King of Wild Boars.”  Learning more about my bloodline has been an inspiring reminder of all the history that has occurred to bring me to where I am now, in this point of my life in this corner of the world.

What steps did you take to create your program? I was part of the first round of BIBAK San Diego Youth, in the late 80s when the chapter was formed. We were a small handful, and have various levels of exposure to our respective tribal cultures. Willingness to be engaged and learn the appropriate dances and music differed as well, with the girls being more willing than the boys. Understandably, the traditional wear for boys is much more scant than girls, and the young males at the time were simply not willing to put themselves in traditional loincloths for the public.

Now however, BIBAK San Diego has a large number of youth ages 5-24, the children and grandchildren of the founding members. One of the elders is a lead instructor, and these youth have learned to play a few songs and dances as early as six years old.  In the mid-90s, knowledgeable elders were more visible, displaying ritualistic dances at Filipino-American festivals. These public appearances tapered however, for several reasons, yet we continued to carry on our traditions and performances for our own internal (Igorot related) audiences. In 2008, the same year I became a mom, BIBAK San Diego held a grand “canao (celebration).” It was attended by more than 800 igorot, Filipino and non-Filipino people, with our youth being a highlight of the program, in homage to the theme, “The Beat Goes On.” Public requests for performances for other audiences, particularly our youth, began to grow.

With more performance requests for non-Igorot, non-Filipino audiences came an interest from our youth to learn more about the rituals tied into our dances. During this same time, one our members, Mark Leo, who is Benguet, began presenting his Master’s thesis on Igorot identity (San FranciscoStateUniversity) within the larger Filipino and Filipino-American community. His work shed insight on the sociopolitical history of Igorots, as one of the Philippines indigenous people, as well as critiqued nation state politics. Culture and the preservation of culture should be viewed from a holistic lens of its people. Therefore, we began to teach our youth more about our own unique history as a people.  As for folk art, I made it a point to introduce other traditions including backstrap weaving (a once practical art form dying with the older generations who still remember how to weave), beading, and broadening their repertoire of musical instrumentation and dance from the various tribes. What is unique for us Igorots living in America, is the ability to learn cross-culturally from other Igorot tribes, which is not common practice in the Philippines. I consult with my parents and relatives to help educate our youth, taking advantage of our family gatherings and key life events, e.g. weddings, birth of a new child.

What obstacles were you forced to overcome? I grew up in Paradise Hills, one of the largest Filipino-American communities in Southern California. I heard all kinds of disparaging remarks about Igorots growing up. Sometimes I didn’t have the energy to dispel myths, and even when I did, people would look at me quizzically as if they couldn’t believe I was Igorot. I think in their minds my people really are savage beasts in some remote jungle somewhere. I figure they’ll come to their own enlightenment on their own terms. I am very comfortable in my skin now, and quite proud of my heritage. Instead of being resentful, I see it as my duty to educate others about my culture while I navigate being an immigrant American living in the greater United States society.

Being entrenched in the greater Filipino American civic scene of San Diego, I feel my cultural knowledge has served as an asset. I can trace my lineage back hundreds of years. I indeed descended from warriors, and I do my best to carry that spirit with me whether I’m battling it out at a city hearing or a advocating for a program I know will improve the health and wellness of my fellow Filipinos and non-Filipino neighbors.
Honestly, the only obstacle I have right now is simply not having enough time. J

What were the hardest problems to solve or actions to take? There are certain members of each tribe who are knowledgeable about particular rituals, dance, and music. Staying true to our traditions, we don’t use instruction via things like Youtube videos. These are rituals that must be handed down, taught live, to reinforce the importance of the interactions between generations.  The very interaction of learning how to play certain songs, in the correct “order” and cadence is a learning experience in and of itself. The student, usually a younger family member, must be attentive, listen carefully, and accept his/her order in the family clan’s hierarchy. As s/he gets older, they will then be responsible for teaching younger generations as well.

What must you do to stay operational? n/a. There’s no need to be paid to learn and protect one’s culture.  When we perform for outside audiences, we do ask for a small honorarium (usually $150-300 for at least 12 dancers and a 20 minute performance).  This usually pays for a communal meal after the performance or for traditional clothing that one youth’s family may not have on hand.  For public lectures and discussions, we find venues that are provided to the community at no cost, like the public libraries. Our time conducting these educational lectures is voluntary.

Who, if anyone, helped you succeed? All our family, all the ancestors before us, all those who fought off colonization to protect our traditions.  More importantly, I am blessed to have my parents, who are very knowledgeable and proud of our culture, drilled it into me from day one.  I know many igorot youth whose parents prefer not to be known as Igorot, who can’t shake the shame and ridicule they faced growing up. My parents chose to hold their heads up higher, and passed that pride on to me.

Do you have any advice for readers who want to get involved or start a similar program? Regardless of who you are, where your family is from, or even if you don’t have much family you care to speak to, it’s important to be comfortable in your own skin, and all the things that go with being who you are.  If you feel you would like to learn more about your culture of origin or even if you just want to learn more about your family history, do your due diligence. Speak to your parents, your grandparents, your relatives.  Be the historian for your family, for your people. More importantly, document these things so you can pass the information on.

Learn more at www.BibakSanDiego.net

Follow on Facebook “Bibak Youth San Diego”

  Kirin Amiling Macapugay was born in Kalinga, Philippines, and immigrated with her U.S Navy father and mother to San Diego in the late 70’s.  She grew up in Barrio Logan, National City, and Paradise Hills. Experiencing the effects of rampant gang activities prevalent in Filipino American communities during the 90’s, Kirin was drawn to community work early on, and finished a Master’s in Social Work with the intent of strengthening underserved communities.

  Igorots, meaning “people of the mountain,” are one of the recognized indigenous peoples of the Philippines’ northern Luzon island, from the area known as the Cordilleras.  The five major tribes of the Igorot people are the Benguet, Ifugao, Bontoc, Apayao, and Kalinga, with various sub-tribes. BIBAK San Diego is an organization dedicated to teaching the history and culture of igorot people, as well as preserving and teaching traditions to future generations.  …This interview is from a  book that includes 15 other amazing people who are creating positive change. You can read the full book and buy a copy for you or your school at Bookemon.com

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

Fierce Fridays: Drama, Gossip, and Bullies

feminist writers, learn about feminism, teaching girls feminism, Fierce, Generation of female empowerment   Welcome to week eleven of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for any age female who needs a reminder of how fierce they can be. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. Share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or that a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com. Enjoy!

Drama, Gossip, and Bullies

  To put it bluntly if you want to be happy don’t be a bully, don’t gossip about others and don’t let drama consume your life. It is easy to get caught up in drama at school, home, or work. There are as many reasons that enforce this behavior as there are to not participate in it. School can be boring so drama gives you something to look forward too. It also can make you popular by keeping you in the eyes and ears of the school. Gossiping about drama is also an easy way to make friends wherever you are. The downside is drama adds stress and usually involves someone getting hurt.

You don’t have to be big to become a bully. Anyone, even someone with a low IQ can do it, so there is nothing special about being one. Bullies are not better than us, they are emotionally spent with anger, sadness, or fear and bullying is how they learned to make others feel the same as them or to feel a sense of control and order.

A long time ago those who were bullied had a respite at home, but with the rise of technology, cyber bullying allows us to go home and still be bullied via our phones or computers. It is so simple to bully someone without being aware that it is what you are doing. Forward a gossipy or mean text or a tacky photo to a friend who in turn sends it on to another friend and suddenly it spreads like fire. It is also just as simple to stop a bully. If your friends send you a sexy or mocking photo of someone whether a peer or adult, refuse to send it on.

If you took the photo or wrote the text and sent it then own up to it and apologize. What goes around comes around, and you could be the next target. Gossip becomes more hurtful or spiteful as it goes from one person to the next. If you have problems with someone tell them. Remember that your words change depending on whose mouth they exit.

Do you want to put an end to bullying?  Take action. The “It Gets Better” project was started by two men who wanted to put an end to teens who were bullied based on their sexuality. They are both gay and were tormented in school. You can visit ItGetsBetter.org to find support, hear stories and inspirational advice from those that have survived bullying, and to sign their pledge to never be a bully. IGB “…wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone and it will get better.” *(12)

You can also encourage your school to become a bully free zone with The Bully Project. This campaign goal is to send 1 million students to see a filming of the movie “Bully” and than facilitate a discussion about the bully problem and what can be done to end it at their school. Learn more at TheBullyProject.com and get involved by writing a letter to the project leaders on advice for stopping bullies, getting adults to sign the anti bully pledge, posting a video about your bully experience, planning a bully awareness event and getting your school involved.

As an individual, you can also speak up and stand up to bullies. If you see someone get bullied than help them. If you do not want to face the bully alone, gather your friends and lead them to confront the bully as a group.. Explain to the bully that they are no longer allowed to bully anyone at your school or in your neighborhood. Do NOT use violence when confronting the bully because that could get you into a lot of trouble if they get hurt. Many bullies are abused at home so it is important to never physically attack a bully or to act like them. Lead by example and be one of millions who will no longer stand by and watch a bully hurt someone. If possible try to make friends with the bully. It may be that they are mean because that is all they know to get attention. Even if you don’t become best friends by not being enemies you can create a more peaceful and safe environment.

Are you a mean girl? Have you ever been negatively attacked by a mean girl or group of mean girls? You can take action against the cruel act of gossip and drama. For a long time popular culture has encouraged the idea that it is natural for girls to be catty and mean towards each other when they go through puberty. It feels great to fit in, be popular and have everyone think that you are the coolest and prettiest. But why do we like someone who puts others down and why in the world do we put up with it?

  • Is it natural to be mean?
  • Is it natural to hurt others?
  • Does being feminine mean that you must go through a “mean girl” phase?
  • Is it natural to feel good because you made someone else feel bad?

In 2009 two college women Molly Thompson and Laura Parsekian traveled the country and created a documentary about the problem with girl versus girl bullying. That documentary turned into The Kind Campaign with the goal of ending the “mean girl” type of bullying. They now travel the country hosting assemblies and starting discussions with girls to address this problem.  According to the website, FindkingKind.IndieFlix.com,  “…the root of so many of our problems is a lack of human connection and respect for others…. Although we have all been victims, we also share responsibility. None of us can say that we never said or did something wrong to another female. It’s important to recognize that we all need to change our habits.”

Change is up to you and you have the power to make it happen. Rally your friends together and discuss how you can stop mean girl behavior.

Use your words to stop bullying before it gets out of hand. Some people are ignorant or do not understand how hurtful teasing is because that person thinks they are just goofing around. Oftentimes confronting a harasser causes them to go on the defensive. Be aware of these responses to your complaint. The following is a sample of what a bully will say when you tell them they are being a jerk and need to stop. Below that are sample responses you can use in return.

  • I was only joking.
  • Why can’t “you people” ever take a joke?
  • Just because you don’t like to have fun doesn’t mean the rest of us have to suffer.
  • You are being overly sensitive.
  • You can’t tell me what to do.
  • You are such a prude.
  • Oh you are one of those “feminist” women.
  • What are you like a (fill in the ignorant term)? Do you hate (the bully’s gender, race or orientation)?
  • You’re a loser and should get lost.

Retorts like the ones listed above are aggravating and are said with the intent to embarrass you or make you second guess yourself. They are not valid, but rather immature and mean spirited. You can reply with the following responses.

  • It’s not a joke if it makes other people feel bad.
  • Jokes are funny; it is not funny to “tease” somebody about their race, gender, or beliefs.
  • I do not appreciate that you are trying to make me into the bad guy here. I am simply expressing my discomfort at your negative attitude towards my skin color/religion/ nation of birth/ gender/ homosexuals.
  • Just because you have a limited sense of humor doesn’t mean I can’t take a joke.
  • I am not being sensitive. You are being rude.
  • I am not telling you what to do. I am asking you to be respectful at school/work. You can say whatever you like on your own time.
  • Being a prude has nothing to do with it. I do not like what you are saying/doing and I am asking you to stop because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Would you like it if I made jokes about the size of your penis or intelligence?
  • Feminism is simply a movement that says women are equal to men. Why do you feel so insecure towards that idea?
  • Calling someone a lesbian or man hater is not a good comeback.  We are not in elementary school anymore. You have the choice to act like an adult.
  • We all have a right to be here and be safe. Your bully attitude is making people feel unsafe.

Anti-Harassment Bill of Rights

I have a right to not be harassed at work or school.

I have a right to fight back against harassment.

My gender, race, and culture are not a joke.

No other person has a right to harass, threaten or abuse me.

It is not okay for my teacher, other students, supervisor, or coworkers to harass me.

I respect myself and will respect others despite our differences.

I will not gossip about other students or coworkers.

I will not gang up on anyone else for fun, to feel like a part of a group, or to protect myself.

I will stand up for anyone who is harassed at school or work.

I will report any harassment to a teacher or supervisor.

If nobody at school stops my harassment, I will contact the OCR Office of Civil Rights) ocr@ed.gov or 1-877-521-2172

If nobody at work stops my harassment, I will contact the EEOC(Equal Employment Opportunity Center) http://www.eeoc.gov or 1-800-669-4000…Continue reading at Bookemon.com

 

Book Reviews, Writing

Marketing My Self Published Book – The book video

There is so much advice on how to market a self published book, but most of it is for very specific genres or only for people who have nothing else to do all day for several months at a time. One piece of advice that wastes time is to” join an authors forum”. That is advice for  networking not marketing. Your readers aren’t hanging out on those threads, it’s just other authors. Remember networking is not the same as marketing. They can be mixed up, but are basically two separate plans for your business.  Slowly I realized that ALL my marketing efforts needed to be focused on places where my readers are.  Since almost all my potential customers are on social sites and video sites like YouTube, I created a video! My previous videos have been sections of my books set to music, but this time I filmed myself.

It’s not the best video I will ever make, but after 9 takes this was the best version of this idea.  I used the video on my friends Mac and uploaded it straight to YouTube. It is a short 30 second post. I post my video on Facebook often reminding my friends that it will continue to be posted until I have as many views as I have “friends”. Right now I have 52 views in the past 2 weeks. That’s good for me. Since my book includes interviews with 16 amazing people I will be asking all of them to create a short video introducing the book and their own organization.  Since this book is the beginning in a series of amazing people creating positive change if these videos are successful, I will continue this marketing idea onward for all future books.

Read all my books at www.Bookemon.com.

What sage advice would you like to share to new authors who are marketing their books?

Art, Empowering Discussions

Fully clothed and no stilettos – (in my opinion)

It is the little things that have potential to grow into revolutions and social change, that make me happy. This month I found two fun music videos that I would approve of younger girls watching. What makes them great(in my opinion) are not their catchy lyrics or fun beats. What I noticed was the lack of females wearing barely there clothing or stilettos. Neither of which are wrong for women to wear, but in a society obsessed with showcasing women as strong and or sexy IF and only if they wear hardly anything and or painful shoes, it is refreshing.  This “sexy” image women are sold was so obviously created by men and not for any benefit for women.  I was in dance for years and I never danced in high heels. Obviously some women can and do quite well, but it wouldn’t have worked for my ballet and hip hop classes.

First is appropriate for over 14, “Here’s to Everything” by Misha B. It’s for an older audience because of the seemingly naked(I can’t quite tell) dancing in the beginning which turns into fully clothed dancing later on. She is reminiscent of Janet Jackson in Rhythm Nation. Misha also looks to be at a healthy weight instead of like a twig you could easily snap in two.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYx4YHXN4Ig

Second is appropriate for any age (in my opinion) “21st Century Girl” by Willow Smith which features many young girls wearing funky, punk/pop outfits, running the streets, building a city, on bikes and skateboards, and having FUN! having fun is what little girls are supposed to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfuHSJqqgAo

Now I write this post knowing that some people will be offended because they read this as an attack on them or that I am saying women should be modest and concerned with whether or not they look “slutty”.  Oh please! As if! and Whatever!  To those people I say get over it. This isn’t about you.  This is a comment on a society that mostly values women as sex objects and little else. This is a blog. It’s full of MY opinions. For some reason and luckily not very often a reader gets mad at what I write. I am not writing for YOU, I am writing for me. If you get something positive out of it great, if not great. Your opinions are yours to hold and not mine to stomp all over so don’t bring that $hit to my blog.

Read all my books at www.Bookemon.com.

Have a Kindle? I have ebooks at www.Amazon.com.