Category: Empowering Discussions

Empowering Discussions

With So Many Options, What Will You Choose?

Impower You

Don’t tell me you have no choice, don’t whine about how unfair your situation is, don’t act as if you  are out of options. Even if it is your last action on this earth, you have a choice. You can go one way or another.

When you realize that you have a choice, that you can always make a decision the world opens up to you.  You see possibilities that previously seemed to not exist, but were actually just hidden from view because you continued to make similar choices and stay on a familiar path. It is all about CHOICE. Obviously in life we are thrown into positions or tragedy that we did not create and that are beyond our control to stop. Yet when this happens we are capable of choosing how to react. We choose to move forward or to live in the past.

A simple example, is a person who loses their arm. They didn’t want to lost that precious limb, but it happened and now they must relearn basic motor skills. They must choose to either become weak with pity or strong by moving forward.

I lost my money by choosing to spend it on things that I wrongly assumed would make me happy. I lost myself by believing what the bullies said. I lost my happiness by allowing myself to only feel sadness. I lost a few great jobs because I chose not to seek help for my depression. I wasted time and energy because I chose to hate others and focus on all that was negative.  I was choosing the same paths over and over again for about 17 years. In and out of depression I would go. I lost my friend to a bad and sudden choice on her part.  That was when I had enough.

I chose to look around and take paths that were foreign and a little scary. I stumbled, fell, broke, and put myself back together again. It has been rough, but I am making choices that are leading me to happiness, to success, to my passions. I lost my comfortable income by quitting a job I didn’t like.  Now I am working at what I love, writing books and teaching self defense, to create an income that will once again be comfortable.

Thanks to the wisdom that comes with age, I can see the most likely outcome and make smarter decisions. These days my choices are well considered.  My future choices are totally and completely in my power.

What great choices have you made?

What bad choices have you made?

What have you learned from all of those choices?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing this blog.

Empowering Discussions

Black and Atheist; Just Another View on Religion

Impower You

I don’t write a lot of posts about religion because it is such a touchy subject that can be so easily taken the wrong way when read online, but once in a while I read something great and have to share it. I am not anti-religion. I refuse to live in an ANTI way.  I am FOR peace, not against war. I am FOR equality, not against hate. Because for me and many of you readers, life is better when we focus our attention on what works, not what fails. So for all you struggling with balance between religion, faith and atheism this is for you.

I just read ” A Back-and-Forth Between Two Black Atheist Brothers” and couldn’t agree with the two writers more. They hit a very sensitive but important nail on the head.  Other than the obvious destruction of culture or genocide, colonialism has a nasty history of forcing religion onto those that survive a take over. It’s a great way to continue your beliefs, but it also takes away the rights of natives to hold on to their own beliefs. Forcing your beliefs on another is just flat-out wrong.  My favorite line in this back and forth is here: “We would be interested in us!” One of the most annoying things about religion for me is how it steers people away from individual freedom, responsibility and growth.

Black Excellence Blog, Conner Augustus Jr., Philadelphia Youth Project

Individual freedom means respecting yourself as a unique individual who is capable and allowed to make your own choices. Individual responsibility means not blaming your mistakes or creating a scapegoat out of a god or deities, Individual growth is learning to love and respect yourself completely and not reliant on your “creator”.

We all have our own ideas so please leave a comment below, but keep it polite or it won’t ever get published. There is no room for intolerance here.

What do you think about religion, is it good, bad or somewhere in between?

Why do you feel that way?

Empowering Discussions

Being Brave: Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into the Ball Pit

Impower You

I love social experiments that bring people together and create an opportunity to be friends.  On the YouTube Soul Pancake channel there is a video about strangers sitting in a ball pit and learning about each other, Watch “Take a Seat, Make a Friend” at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHV4-N2LxQ and see how simple it can be to step out of your comfort zone with new people.

Moving past my shyness and reserved personality has been one of the top 3 actions that have saved my life. Being so insecure around strangers turned me into an emotional hermit. Finally at this age I can strike a conversation with just about anyone. Sometimes I still get intimidated and totally shut people down with a look or by ignoring them, but that is okay. Obviously there are many times when this does protect me, like on the bus or street when some creepy guy or tweaked out stranger tries to get my attention in an inappropriate manner. This isn’t a knock against introverts. Being reserved has a lot of pros, like the ability to listen, to enjoy quiet, to lead without force, and a host of other talents. However life is about balance and interaction with others so….

If I had never taught myself to be more open towards others I wouldn’t be successful at teaching self defense, my books would have even fewer readers, and I wouldn’t make new friends. Unfreezing myself and jumping into situations that scared me is part of what saved my life. I was in such a negative place for so long and it was a downward spiral towards wanting to just die. Maybe your situation is not as severe as mine or maybe it is worse. You won’t ever create positive change without taking chances and pushing yourself to try.  

So if you want to be more open,more social, and to step out of your comfort zone go find a “ball pit” and introduce yourself to the other person there. You never know what sort of adventure it will become.

 What obstacles have you overcome to succeed?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

Empowering Discussions

Have You Ever Taken a Jump Into New Territory?

Impower You

Have you ever taken a jump that changed your life for the better?

Or are you still waiting and longing for what might be?

It doesn’t have to be unplanned. You can lay out a map before you, gather supplies, and start now.

changeisup2u, up to you, volunteerism

Jumps are fun. I have had a few, but the one that really stands out is when I decided to never again be a victim. I wanted to be a fierce and independent woman. Finally last August I trained to be a self defense instructor, earned my certification, and now teach classes. I feel like the kind of person I used to long to be.

Al Bagocious asked this question and received some intriguing answers. Amazingly all the answers were from women. Check out his blog post to be inspired:  http://albagocius.wordpress.com/2013/08/18/leaps-of-faith-womens-division/

If you want to jump, but aren’t taking the chance is it because of fear? Are you willing to go your whole life filled with a regret about that one chance you could have taken, but held back from?  If it isn’t life threatening than maybe you should go ahead and stretch those legs as far as possible and see what happens.

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PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

Empowering Discussions

What You Stand For Becomes Where You Spend Money

Impower You

“Vote with your dollar” is a popular expression and one I now lovingly embrace. I never gave much thought to how spending my money somewhere might actually be supporting hate or prejudice. I grew up obsessed with the newest styles and shiniest gadgets and got myself into a lot of debt that way. It’s disappointing to find out that a place I liked to shop at is actually my enemy. (I am also disappointed in my own irresponsible choices that are not good for me or others.) Wal-Mart is the most famous example. For goodness sakes, they think women should be paid less than men! Well being a woman I can’t stand for that so I will not shop there anymore. I already reduced my trips to them based on how they hurt small business owners by undercutting prices and hurt the environment by mass production of toxic manufacturing processes. Until learning about their anti-female agenda I would stop there for “emergency” supplies when other stores were too far or expensive, but that is OVER!

Other places Like Chik-Fil-A served such a bland sandwich(back when I ate meat) that I wouldn’t eat there again anyway, but once learning about their hate towards LGBTQ people they wouldn’t even be an “emergency” snack.

GAP makes comfortable classic clothing that l love for everyday, but when I read they wouldn’t support safety measures in their overseas factories I stopped shopping there. But does it count if I still buy their label at a second hand shop or charity shop? What do you think?

As the years add up my need for things lessens. I am more interested in experiences than accumulation. Still I will need to buy new clothes at some point. I need my contacts and the cleaning solution. I need new tires for my bike and if I ever own a car again I need to buy gas and oil. I need to buy food and won’t always have a local health food store or coop to pick up organic non packaged food.

empowered people, power to the people, personal choice, how to make smart choices

 

Was the shirt I bought made by slave or sweat shop labor?

Am I polluting the world through toxic transportation fuels?

Was my food picked by farm hands that are forced to work with dangerous pesticides or are not protected under the law and thus easily taken advantage of by their employers?

Despite these worries, I can control a lot and am intent on making choices that are not only good for me and my wallet, but for people everywhere. Because part of living empowered is supporting others and ensuring that every one has access to healthy living standards.

 

When a lot of us make the same small changes those add up and WE make a difference. The first step is research. Yes I know you only have so much time in the day, but is spending a few minutes to see if what you buy is making the world better or worse really that hard? I know firsthand what it is like to want the newest and shiniest, but I made a decision to create a world I am proud of and that means changing my actions. It was harder in the beginning, but the more time I spend ensuring my peace of mind through the simple act of paying attention the simpler it is to make the right choices. It’s not easy, but with small steps YOU can stand up for your beliefs by the simple act of consuming less and voting with your dollar. You can get a Better World Shopper Guide http://www.betterworldshopper.com/ to see the impact your purchases. Not sure what you are eating and you can’t buy everything from a local organic farm? Check out the Non GMO Project http://www.nongmoproject.org/. You can look for non-corporate websites to educate yourself. You can choose to do something.

What sustainable changes have you made recently?

How are you voting with your dollar?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

Empowering Discussions

One of those days. Again? I thought this was over!

Impower You

There is a GIANT difference between being depressed and being bummed out. I spent years being depressed and when I finally committed to heal myself life became so much better.  After a whole year of feeling balanced I was surprised to find out that I could have such bad days. Plural. Days that just don’t feel right. Stress can be overwhelming and I have been under a lot lately what with not knowing where I would move to and realizing it was going to take a long time to clear all my financial debts.

the definition of possibleThese are the ultimate tests for me.  Can I survive such strong emotions and negative thoughts or will I slip back into darkness? Yes I can survive and no I will not return to depression. I made a decision and every time I start to waver over that because of one, two, or three of “those days” I pinch myself.  I am reminded of why I chose to start living. My friends untimely death was the biggest slap by far. She was gone, but I am still here so it’s time to stop wasting my one and precious life. Working at a job I despised and dreamed about quitting months before I actually did was a push. Seeing how much debt I had created from “feel better” shopping sprees and not being able to hold a job was a reason. Being unhappy and not wanting to hate myself and my body was another reason. Seeing my nieces and nephew growing up and not being able to spend time with them was sad. Realizing I hated myself was the last straw.

Change takes time and hard work. I sometimes forget that small fact of life. Instant gratification may have become a cultural norm, but that doesn’t mean we have to live that way.

When the storm moves in and the rain starts flooding my mind with apathy I consciously push those clouds back until I find the sun. Once I can see that yellow ball of warmth I am reminded of all that I want, all that I lost, all I have accomplished, and all that can be if only I try. So if you are having one of those days, weeks, or months, remind yourself that you are capable of changing your situation. Pinch your arm. Wake Up!

What do you really want?

What actions must you take to get that?

Are you willing to put forth the effort?

Change is always up to you.

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading.

Empowering Discussions

Stand Tall

Impower You

There comes a point in our lives when we have to let go of hate, stand up for what is right and let our true selves shine through to create a brighter, healthier, happier, and more accepting world.

Sticks and stones

Names and taunts

We won’t fold

In our heart we hold

Hope that won’t sway

Love that will never go away

We are not wrong

We are right

Together we are strong.

“Isn’t it time you got over, how fragile you are. We’re all waiting, waiting on your supernova. Because that’s who you are” – from the song Shine by Anna Nalick. Watch the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgiZz-aqheU

Empowering Discussions

How to ruin your credit, lose money, be unemployable, and sleep on the streets!

Impower You

Ever heard this one? “Life takes us on a journey of failures before we find true success”

Like most cute sayings it is not helpful. I am tired of failing. I just want a second job, any job. I WANT MORE WORK! I want to earn enough to pay off my debts. I want a career that is rewarding and resonates with my passions. I made a lot of bad financial choices in my younger years that are negatively impacting my life today. I suppose the silver lining here is that I can be an example of what NOT to do with your one and precious life.

I went to Art School! DON’T go to Art School unless you have a full scholarship. Any art degree is useless! Sadly these days most other college degrees are NOT worth the debt either.  Go to community college, vocational school, or take free online courses. If you are smart you won’t take out student loans. If you insist on going into debt for school choose something practical like business or nutrition. Be involved in some academic or business club so you can gain experience while you have the time. Don’t just go to class to get by, use this time wisely to network, find an internship, learn extra skills not taught in class, and ask for help. Your professors and counselors will not ask if you need help. You have to be fierce and ask them for assistance.

I maxed out a credit card!  DON’T use a credit card for clothes, eating out, or fun activities. Cards are good for medical emergencies, if you need to rent a car, or if you ever plan on getting a loan for a home or business. If you have poor credit you will not be able to rent an apartment. So if you get a card only use it once every few months and only on things you need like toiletries and food. No cash advances unless it is an emergency!  You will also get calls and letters from collectors. Some are nice, but many are downright scary!  Every dollar you spend has to be paid back! It’s not free or magic money. You might even go to jail.

I couldn’t stay at one job! So you are the creative type and you have big dreams that have nothing to do with your “day” job? Or are you just flat out LAZY? Well forget all that. You need money to pay rent, buy food, and pay that student loan even though I just told you not to get one. I have worked so many jobs I don’t even bother listing all those on my resume. I would work a job until I was bored and then I would quit. So now I have a crappy resume. If your job is boring ask your supervisor for more work. How about working 2 part time jobs that are different so you don’t get bored?  If you really dislike your job find a new job before you quit.

I thought happy endings were guaranteed! This world owes you nada, nothing, zilch, zero!  I never tried hard enough, never did enough research before starting a project or business. I spent my youth watching TV and reading books about happy endings. There is a lot of work behind the scenes that we don’t see, but that’s not good entertainment so we don’t see it. I thought the right choice would be obvious and life would shine a rainbow at the best opportunities. Hahahahahaaha! Oh that is too funny! Life will use you as a punching bag and throw your lifeless, bloody, mangled body on the ground. There is no easy way. I repeat: THERE IS NO EASY WAY! Work smart and work hard or be a failure.

I spent all my money! SAVE MONEY! Put away 10% or 25% of each paycheck in a savings account. Calculate how much money you have with this in mind before you go out for fun Friday nights. If you don’t have the cash, don’t spend it. Find free or cheaper activities. One day you could be stuck with a part time job that doesn’t pay you enough to pay the bills and your bank account is frozen by the IRS, or you get taken to court by a collection agency(thankfully this hasn’t happened to me yet). Do you want to stand on a street corner begging for change?

Unfortunately I learned this all the hard way. I had big dreams and made bad choices (It didn’t help that I was debilitatingly depressed for 17 years). Now I am paying the price of failure. In our current economic depression employers have hundreds of choices to hire for EACH job! Why would they hire you? If you have a resume with lots of jobs that don’t have anything in common, or periods of unemployment, they won’t take a second look at your resume. Now I spend my free days applying for jobs, hoping that one day my writing career will create a livable income, and wishing I could do it all over again.

If you follow this advice you probably won’t end up giving away most of your belongings, sleeping on friends couches(or if you’re lucky in your car. I wish I had a car to sleep in!), working part time, spending your days applying for jobs that you NEVER hear back from, constantly trying and failing, and wondering if life will ever get better. Good luck!

Author Bio: Leah Oviedo lives in San Diego, California. She is learning to fix her mistakes by turning her skill at writing and love of teaching self defense into financially secure endeavors. Her books are available to read and buy at Bookemon.com and Amazon.com. 

Empowering Discussions

GLOwing with Love: Healing through helping others with Gloria Mengel

Impower You
G-Lo's T-Hats, Gloria Mengel fundraiser, Tammy Mengel fundraiser
Gloria Mengel

I love to read about people who fight the odds to help themselves and still find time to help others. Two of those people are Tammy and Gloria Mengel. Gloria is a  beautiful 15 year old who has  been through the ringer the past 5 year. She was first diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2008 and has since suffered kidney failure, a stroke, vision loss, respiratory impairment, and hair loss. Tammy is her supportive mother who vigilantly works to protect her daughter.

At my age losing my hair wouldn’t be a big deal. However if I was 15 and losing my hair I would drown in tears of self pity and throw a tantrum of godly proportions. As far as I know, Gloria hasn’t done either! I don’t know anyone who wasn’t concerned about their looks as a teenager(and for me well into my twenties!).  Gloria has been wearing wigs and hats to hide her hair loss, but during warm months and indoors that extra padding can be very uncomfortable. Her loving mother Tammy has created a hat that is comfortable enough to wear when it is warm. They call it the “G-Lo’s T-Hat” and it’s made from a lightweight cotton material. It is handmade in 2 styles,the Chullo and the Beanie, and available in several colors. Gloria wants to donate hats to other children who are surviving cancer.  Tammy hopes to turn the hats into a business so she can continue to stay home with her daughter during this heart wrenching time.

gloria mengel fundraiser, tammy mengel fundraiser, has for cancer patients
G-Lo’s T-Hat

With your help Gloria and her family can create these hats and bring comfort to others while also bringing in much needed income. Check out the Help Glo Give Back project on IndieGoGo.com and take action. There are two ways to help, donate money or share her project with your family and friends.