D.I.Y. Therapy

D.I. Y. Therapy: Comparing Ourselves To Others

One of the nastiest ways we can feel bad about ourselves is when we compare our bodies, minds, and accomplishments to others. There will always be someone younger and prettier, smarter and older, or stronger and faster. So what! You have to ask yourself what truly matters. What will you focus on in this life? Your accomplishments or those belonging to another?

I learned the bad habit of comparing way back in elementary school when I compared my status to my peers. In my mind my hand me down clothes, high-water pants, and glasses made me less cool than the pretty girls and the athletic boys. I started down a path of believing and thus being less than others. Because what we believe becomes true wether it is or not. Sadly, I followed that belief through puberty, my early twenties, and all the way to 30. What I picked up was low self-esteem, debt from unhealthy retail therapy, and friends who I constantly wanted to be more like. All this was at the cost of not pursuing my own talents and practicing self-love. It was also a zip line to depression.

Nowadays I rarely compare my life to others, the thoughts occasionally pop into my mind until I become conscious of my suddenly negative outlook. At this point I can stop myself fast, but it took a lot of practice to learn how. This isn’t a super secret, it’s simply choosing not to compare and focusing on who I am and what I can do.

  • Live in the present. Don’t compare where you are to where you want to be. Challenge yourself to accomplish goals that are important to you, not goals that society defines as important. Learn what your strengths are and use those to get what you want out of life.
  • Be aware of your weaknesses. This is important because when we consciously make an effort to say no to unwanted requests or stop addicting behavior, then we have more time to spend on positives. When you start down the path of self-doubt or regret, stop and change those to positive affirmations and focus on lessons learned.
  • Focus on self care; you’ll feel and look your best when you have emotional and physical balance. Eat healthier food and pay attention to how your body feels. What put in and on our bodies affects our physical health and in turn our mental state. Check to see if your personal care products are toxic and rethink that bag of artificially flavored fried chips. Get moving! I know how my depression worsened when I laid in bed or sat around all day.

This action takes time to master, but it’s worth every moment. Once you start feeling good about yourself you won’t want to go back. The downside to changing our lifes is we often have to leave behind people who refuse to change theirs. How many times have you gone along with something because your family, friend or partner was and you wanted to be with them? This doesn’t mean you will have to leave everyone behind. Some of your cherished ones will eventually grow along with you and be able to understad your new self.

 

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Empowering Discussions

High Heels Look Great, But Destroy Your Feet, Your Posture and Your Health

If I put on high heels I’d definitely run into things like doorways and low hanging fans. Yikes!  I’m six feet tall so high heels are not an important part of my life, but I know many women who swear by the heel. The reasons range from wanting to be taller and feeling fierce to career dress codes and staying trendy. Well those are all justifiable reasons, but are they worth it?

I previously worked in a shoe store and we didn’t sell many high or even low heels.  What we did have were many older woman who came in looking for relief and encouraging us to not wear high heels, or if we insisted to do so sparingly. Then they showed us their feet and WOW! Some were deformed and some were painful, but none of them were happy.

I’m not about to shame you into flats. Your body is your responsibility and I pass no judgement. I share this because I’ve seen how bad high heels are. Check out this infographic from Visual.ly and decide for yourself. The decision is always yours.

danger of high heels infographic, unhealthy high heels

 

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Dating violence poster
Empowering Discussions

100 Colleges and Schools Unite To Stop Rape: National Carry That Weight Day of Action Supports Survivors of Sexual and Domestic Violence

You may have heard of Emma Sulkowicz who has been carrying her dorm mattress everywhere she goes to protest Columbia University’s decision to allow her rapist to continue attending Columbia. While there are always critics and haters who convince themselves she is only doing this for attention, many more support her decision. On October 29th students at 100 colleges will join Emma in a National Carry That Weight Day by carrying their own mattress or pillow everywhere they go.

“Through this powerful demonstration of solidarity, these participants will tangibly express their commitment to lift the burden of sexual violence from the shoulders of survivors—to carry the weight together.”  Find a map of the events at carryingtheweighttogether.com. You can also look for events with the hashtag #carrythatweight.

This protest is more about supporting one woman’s brave stand, it also is a chance to empower students who are working to improve their schools policies on sexual and domestic violence response. “We must work together to support survivors in our communities and hold our institutions accountable to do the same. The Day of Action is a call to students nationwide to stand in solidarity with survivors and work toward safer, healthier communities in which survivors find compassion and support and are not silenced or stigmatized,” said Allie Rickard, founder of Carrying the Weight Together and a lead student organizer at Columbia University.

Having a national day of rape awareness gives us strength to confront and dismantle rape culture. “Want to support survivors? Believe them, listen to them. Want to end campus sexual assault altogether? Believe student leadership — and don’t stop following their lead.  All of us having a role in carrying the weight,” said Emily May, co-founder and Executive Director of Hollaback! and one of the lead organizers for the event.

On October 29th, the student demonstration at Columbia will begin at 3:30 p.m consisting of a march of 28 mattresses representing the 28 students who have filed a Title IX complaint against Columbia and a rally on Low Steps. Emma Sulkowicz and fellow students will be joined by legislators and public figures, including New York City Public Advocate Letitia James, and will speak on the topic of sexual and domestic violence.

The #carrythatweight National Day of Action is organized by No Red Tape and Carrying the Weight Together at Columbia University, with support from nonprofits Hollaback!, and Rhize. In addition, the following organizations have signed up as partners: PAVE, SurvJustice, Know Your IX, National Alliance to End Sexual Violence, YTH, The UnSlut Project, Fem2pt0, FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture, Price of Silence, Feminist Apparel, YWCA of Brooklyn, National Organization for Women Virtual Chapter for Young Feminists and Allies, Girls Educational and Mentoring Services, Violence Intervention Program, Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence, and Surviving in Numbers.

Related Links:

Interview with Emily May of Hollaback. Changeisup2u.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/emily-may-hollaback/

Learn Physical Self Defense and Take Control. Impoweryou.org/selfdefense/

But wait there’s more….

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health and food image
Empowering Discussions

Eat Well to Feel Well! Eating Healthy Should Be Basic Human Nature; So Why Don’t We?

Newsflash: A major obstacle to feeling good is eating bad food. Does your morning begin with carbs and sugar, such as coffee and donuts or sugary smoothies and bagels? Is your afternoon snack a chocolate bar and energy drink? Are you eating fresh vegetables and fruit even once a day when you should have a serving with every meal? Do you constantly say, “I eat fairly healthy.” and then wonder why you have health issues or feel tired more often?  That’s been my catch phrase since puberty and I’m tired of saying it.

You know those ads that say ” click here for the amazingly simple secret to….yadda, yadda, yadda”? Well it’s no secret that healthy eating keeps us in better shape both physically and mentally. When our bodies are healthy it’s easier to stay in a balanced mood and to have energy for all our daily activities. Thanks to a continuous consumption of mass media, what is or isn’t healthy can be confusing for a lot of people. instead of listening to how our bodies react to food and doing our own research we rely on others to tell us how to eat. One headline says fish is better than beef, and next week a headline says fish is loaded with mercury. We used to think diet soda was good for us, but studies show how diet drinks are more harmful than the regular version. The word “natural” used to pertain to “hippie” foods from your local co-op like granola, sugar-free foods, food without additives or preservatives and local organic produce, meat and dairy. Now it’s used for anything remotely plant or meat based regardless of additives, preservatives, hormones and antibiotics.

One thing that bugs me is how many ingredients are in our food. Last week I volunteered at a food bank to pack up bags and hand out food to those in need. I would only eat a few items that were available and felt guilty giving food-like products away even though I knew this was all the food some peopel would have for a while! It was a cornucopia of carbs, salt, artificial flavors and coloring, MSG(monosodium glutamate), and so much SUGAR!  Almost everything was in a box or can and had a list of ingredients that took up a quarter of the label, full of words that sounded more fitting for a chemistry class. Whether eating out or at home the food that tastes best only has a few ingredients, that I can pronounce. Give me seasoning and herbs, but not a bunch of flavors made in a lab to taste like real food. How insane is it that we create flavors to taste like actual food instead of using actual food to create flavor?

Another pet peeve is this push by so many large agribusinesses to NOT label GMO’s(genetically modified organisms/ geneticaly engineered food). Why should we not be allowed to know what is in our food? I feel as if the more these large corporations attempt to stop labeling the more they are hiding facts about the safety of GMO’s. If they are safe then why can’t we have labels and make our own choices? And why in the world doesn’t the FDA(Food and Drug Administration) step in with regulations? Are they really that corrupted by lobbyists with million dollar pockets? It’s time to take stand and pressure federal agencies to protect our nations health.

I know you’re busy, but you deserve to know what’s in your food. Do some research and get passionate about protecting our food and rights.

SPEAK UP! Tell the FDA to label genetically engineered foods: Leftaction.com/action/fda-label-genetically-engineered-foods

What are they afraid of? Biotech and Agribusiness Spending Heavily to Defeat State GMO Food Labeling Votes: Cornucopia.org/2014/10/biotech-agribusinesses-spending-heavily-defeat-state-gmo-food-labeling-votes/

Juice or flavored sugar water? What’s in our orange juice? Mamavation.com/2014/05/how-scientists-have-changed-the-orange-juice-you-feed-your-kids.html

Is diet soda better? Diet soda can confuse your body signals and may cause weught gain. Huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/11/diet-soda-health-risks_n_3581842.html

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harvest music festival
Empowering Discussions, Travel

Travel- Harvest Festival at Mulberry Mountain: Elephant Revival, Swimming Holes and Rick’s Bakery

Music festivals don’t usually interest me unless a band I adore is playing or it means spending time with loved ones. Luckily, both reasons spurred me to attend the Harvest Music Festival at Mulberry Mountain in Ozark, Arkansas.  A lot of music venues are too crowded or too stimulating for my tastes, but Mulberry Mountain had space to spare and plenty to see other than the stages and booths. There was ample parking, lots of open space, and seemingly hundreds of campers enjoying three days of freedom.

After arriving and finding my friends who I’ve known and loved since birth, we hiked a short, but rough trail to a beautiful blue-green swimming hole. I’d previously agreed to jump into the water not expecting the drop to be too severe. However after stripping down to my skivvies(I hadn’t packed a swim suit) and watching my friends jump first, my legs did not want to move off that ledge. It looked to be about 20 feet down and with malfunctioning legs the descent seemed a little dangerous. My friends hollered at me and people near by started a count down, so in the face of peer pressure I jumped. Surprisingly the jump was quite fun aside from a wedgie in the wrong place and a small cut on my toe. The water was just right for the unseasonable warmth. I’m so glad I jumped.

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The band was Elephant Revival, a Colorado quintet of folk, gypsy, rock, and alternative music with sound bouncing back and forth between soulful and mellow to funky and upbeat. With instruments that include a washboard, banjo, musical saw and mandolin you can expect to hear music that will delight your senses. Among their dazzling set they played two of my favorite songs “Down To The Sea” and “Ring Around The Moon“. Guest musicians joined them on stage for various songs and they even had some beatboxing thrown in. You’ve got to hear them for yourself; check out their tour schedule to see when they will perform near you.

harvest music festival

Many people attended with their finest clothes, dressed up as unicorns, dancing with hula hoops, walking with creatures on their heads, and expressing themselves with an array of happy colors. This played in nicely with the green trees that slowly were turning to autumn colors.

harvest music festival

harvest music festival

I didn’t want to leave my friends or the beauty of the mountain, but all good things eventually end so new goodness can come our way. Early Sunday morning before leaving I took a solo hike down to the river and came across an unexpected gift. A kid with the same name of a beloved friend walked my way and offered me a fragrant stick of incense. On the way back up we met again and finished the hike up together. Before departing he gave me a book to read and a CD to borrow. I’ve just started the book, a parable of sorts, and plan on listening to the CD once I shut this tablet down.  It’s such a joy to randomly meet pleasant people who give without needing to receive.  I felt at peace with leaving, though part of that was from a serious lack of sleep.

Did I mention the bands continue to play long after midnight and fellow concert goers continue to play music and set off fireworks until 7am? As they kept me awake for much of the night I reminded myself that these people were not trying to be rude, but only celebrating life and that kept me from opening up my tent flap and yelling at them to knock it off. 🙂

harvest music festival

Sidenote: On the road to Harvest Festival, my friend and I stopped at Rick’s Bakery in Fayetteville. They had delicious pumpkin donuts that had actual flavor, not just the expected sweetness of most donuts. Their coffee was good too and if you are caffeine sensitive like me than you know how difficult finding quality decaf can be when you’re traveling. Rick’s is more than bakery, it’s also a funky gift shop with a cafe and clean restrooms. Definitely worth a stop if you’re traveling through.

harvest music festival

Where will I go next? Stay tuned by subscribing to email updates in the right hand side bar or follow me on Facebook.com/ImpowerYou.

You can see more of my travels on the Epic Journey page

If you like this blog check out my books and art at Leahis.com orAmazon.com. If you need content marketing, editing services, or a blogger, Hire Me.

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D.I.Y. Therapy

D.I.Y. Therapy: What is Going On Here? – Turn On Your Inner Guidance System

Need a little inspiration?
Are you searching for answers?
Turn on your inner guidance system.

Embrace your true self to learn about who YOU are and what you need. While other people can be wonderful guides, only we truly know what’s best for ourselves. Inside you will find inspiration and answers to difficult questions. Psychologists have a term for this called “ego development” which explains that we mature and evolve over our lifespan as we become more self-aware. I take this to mean that if we can accept ourselves, than we can grow into our own guide. This is in place of needing someone or something else to lead the way and tell us what is right. So go ahead and ask yourself who you are and who you want to be. Don’t focus on what society, your family or friends expect. Focus on what feels right for YOU.

Self Awareness means searching for insight about what is your real essence. Accept and celebrate who you are; accept and celebrate your differences. You are not wrong for being different, you just are.

  • What do you love about yourself?
  • What have you accomplished so far?
  • What have you risked?
  • What quirks make you special?
  • What are your strengths?

Even the smallest steps can be difficult; don’t push those aside as unimportant. Look at how you have changed and matured and be proud. En route to self-awareness you might need some help so ask for it, read books, listen to other people and be open to learning something new. You never know when that new information will come in handy during your journey. I can say that from personal experience these are great actions to take.

Over the years I have forced myself to look deeper at my actions and thoughts to see who I really am. I have found that what I used to think was wrong is actually just different. My personal beliefs, my passions, my goals and the process I am taking to get what is right for me. I see and feel life differently than what I see in the masses. This used to bother me and cause the belief that I was broken. I not longer feel there is aright or wrong on most points of view, because as I accept my own differences I can accept that other people also see life through a different lens. What they see is based on who they are and what they have experienced. I am simply gong to live my life in a way that feels right to me. Like the saying goes, “You do your thing and I will do mine.”

How will you know that your inner voice is on track? Once you realize that nobody else can love you as much as you love yourself you won’t crave outside approval to be different. It takes commitment and bravery to go against the expectations of others. We are all capable to think for ourselves. Follow your intuition and really live in a way that YOU feel is right. It will be much easier to get past obstacles when we know our own strength.

free sunset

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D.I.Y. Therapy

D.I.Y. Therapy: How To Balance Your Emotions…The Blissful Balanced Path

My emotions used to rule my world and send me on rollercoaster rides of manic highs and depressing lows. With a few years of diligent work on my personal thoughts and actions, I’ve been able to balance my emotions so that my ride is now steady with only a dip of sadness now and then. I don’t feel perfect all the time, does anybody? Life after all is a variety of emotions. Being sad or upset isn’t fun, but if we’re careful we can take how we feel and turn that into a lesson for how we react in future situations. Paying attention to our emotions also allows us to better gauge if other people are good to have in our life or if we need to stay clear of them.

1.Pay attention to how you feel. Are you hurt, sad, anxious, unsettled, angry?

2. Choose whether to let that emotion take control. Is this a good time to feel that way or will allowing this emotion to continue cause you more problems?

3. Look at problems from a different perspective. Write down the reason you feel this way and imagine alternate ways you can feel about it.

4. Find a solution or a different path. Choose one of those alternates and go with it. You may need to tell someone to get lost because they are being a jerk or you might be the one who needs to apologize for your attitude.

5. Be patient and loving towards yourself. Accept that you like everybody else, are imperfect. Accept and love yourself for your ability to change, grow, and learn.

6. Focus on feeling good, not constantly excited. Stay balanced with breathing exercises, short meditations, or affirmations. Know that you can only do so much and that it’s okay to just be present in your situation. Work on what you can and think of the future only in terms of how you can solve problems. Don’t focus on concerns or worries because that won’t get you anywhere.

7. Remove bad people from your life. You don’t need those who are negative and insist on pulling you into drama situations. If someone makes you feel bad or unsettled then keep them at a distance. You deserve family and friends who respect you and your boundaries. We are all deserving of happiness despite mistakes we make. With inner peace our lives improve because we aren’t muddled with problems and worries.

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If you like this blog check out my books and art at Leahis.com orAmazon.com. If you are looking for a blogger or blogging consultant hire me at my GoFundMe page.

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Empowering Discussions, Travel

Travel – The 2014 International Balloon Festival in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Jackalope Mercado in Santa Fe and Annapurna Cafe

Have you ever been so close to a hot air balloon that you could feel the heat of the flame? I was able to be that close last weekend at the 2014 Albuquerque International Balloon Festival. This eight day event included hundreds of hot air balloons, a music festival, an art and craft fair, and fun exhibits about the history of ballooning.

While I enjoyed the two days I was there, unfortunately those times the balloons were not able to take to the skies. We did see many balloons inflate, as well as a partial balloon glow which was a nice concession. My video recorder had some technical issues, but I was able to take photos to share.

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Labeled the “Land of Enchantment” there is so much to do and see in New Mexico. Full of culture, art, history, and recreation, I highly recommend visiting the northern part of the state. Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Taos, and Dixon are my favorite towns. Sandia peak is my favorite place to hike and the Rio Grande is a beautiful walk.

My sister and I took the new Rail Runner train from Albuquerque to Santa Fe. It’s a beautiful hour long ride with the mountains to the east and green lush trees everywhere. Part of the train route goes through reservations that don’t allow photography, but I was able to get a shot of the magnificent Sandia mountain range on our return trip. While in Santa Fe we stopped at the Jacakalope Mercado, one of my favorite tourist “traps” full of beautiful art, handicrafts, and gifts. After lunch, and a scenic walk with a good friend, we had a wonderful visit.

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A hidden gem in Albuquerque is a Annapurna World Vegetarian Cafe, featuring Ayurvedic Cuisine & Chai. Made from scratch, not a sweet syrup or powder they have some of the best chai I’ve tasted yet. I also ate a delicious slice of sweet potato pie. The cafe had a cozy feel with beautiful decorations and lovely hanging plants. On the side of the building was a giant mural of Ganesh The location I went to was on the corner of Silver Ave. and Yale, not far from the University of New Mexico.

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Where will I go next? Stay tuned by subscribing to email updates in the right hand side bar or follow me on Facebook.com/ImpowerYou.

If you like this blog check out my books and art at Leahis.com orAmazon.com.

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Empowering Discussions

Climate March San Diego 2014 – Photos and Links

Sunday September 21st brought the People’s Climate March to San Diego, California. The march is about demanding “an economy that works for the people and the planet; a world safe from the ravages of climate change; a world with good jobs, clean air and water, and healthy communities.” Marches were held around the world with hundreds of thousands of people who know a healthier world is in our grasp IF we commit to changing our individual actions and holding government and businesses accountable as well.

There were lots of groups represented including Sierra Club, San Diego 350.org, college students, LGBTQ, vegetarians, vegans, veterans and religions. People of all ages and colors from babies to grandparents strolled and marched through the streets of downtown demanding an end to polluting policies and a worldwide push to respect the only planet we call home. Bicyclists pedaled at the front of the march to show that yes, we can be mobile without fossil fuels. Pedestrians on the sidewalk and drivers in their cars hollered and honked horns in a show of solidarity.

At the end of the march many leaders in our community including politicians, faith leaders, and students gave stirring speeches encouraging everyone to do more than just march this one day, but continue raising our voices and actively seeking change at local levels of government.

This march was organized by San Diego 350. You can volunteer and stay updated about local environmental news at Sandiego350.org

Learn more about how your food choices affect the environment and your health at GoVeg.com

Think college students are all about kegs and parties? Many concerned students from UCSD’s Living Learning Communities were present and active at the march, Sixth.ucsd.edu/residential-life/housing/LLC.html

The 99%/Occupy movement is still alive and growing as was proved when Occupy Women San Diego marched. Get involved at Womenoccupysandiego.org 

Veterans for Peace was there. You don’t have to be a veteran to get involved in this organization, Sdvfp.org

Citizens Against Gillepsie’s Expansion & Low Flying Aircraft was there raising awareness of the poisoning effects that lead fuel from aircrafts has on our communities, Cagelfa.com

Sierra Club continues to be a presence in our community, preserving and protecting our land for us and future generations, Sandiego.sierraclub.org

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beach, trees, lush beaches
Empowering Discussions

D.I.Y. Therapy : The Importance of Movement in Healing

This photo below is my yoga spot. How lucky that for some time this spot has been on the beach though once I start traveling this will change. Maybe I will practice yoga at a park or in a bedroom. All I need is a place somewhat calm with space to move.  Getting up out of bed, away from TV and the internet, and moving my body has been an important part of healing from depression. Being depressed means having very little energy, a habit of secluding ourselves, and thus our bodies become very sedentary.

When I say movement I am talking about exercise, but that word can seem overwhelming to some of use. This is especially true if like me, you had awful experiences in P.E., physical education. Who thought dodgeball and hormones should ever go together?!?!

Exercise doesn’t mean you need to join a gym or start running 5K’s, unless that appeals to you.  It’s simply a biological fact we were made to MOVE! Our bodies have this amazing capacity to twirl, jump, walk, and zoom around! I’m not much for running and haven’t felt like playing tennis lately so I practice stretching, breathing and mediation through yoga. I’m not a pro and don’t know all the terms, but I know what feels good.

beach,  trees, lush beaches
My Yoga Spot

What type of movements do you like? Are you a hula hooper, runner, dancer, or walker? Find some movement that you enjoy and schedule the time to do it. If you’re a morning person plan on getting up early before your day, if you prefer to sleep in than pick a later time. Just make sure you move everyday.  Your movement doesn’t need to be an intense sweaty workout. Even if it’s just to stand up and twirl around your room to a great song or 10 push ups on your lunch break, you will feel better if you move and pay attention to your body.

If you like this blog check out my books and art at Leahis.com or Amazon.com

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