Creative Healing Through Writing and Art
My brother sent me this poem today. I am not sure where it is from, but it really hits the target when you have a great loss.
Don’t tell me that you understand
Don’t tell me that you know
Don’t tell me that I will survive
How I will surely grow
Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass
That I will soon be free
Accept me in my ups and downs
I need someone to share
Just hold my hand and let me cry
And say ‘My friend, I care.”
I just lost one of my best friends. We had known each other for 10 years, and been through so much together. I still cant believe she’s gone. It’s been hard to get much work done, even harder to care about working at all. I really want to rewind time even if I could just hug her one last time.
She was a wonderful friend. She was amazing, the kind of person who got along with everybody. She always had a smile to share and encouraging words to dish out. The world has lost so much with her death. Words cannot describe how I feel right now. Grief is one, numb is another. I feel antsy and sad. I miss her so much. I just want her back. I want to tell her again how much she means to me.
She was younger than me and left behind 2 beautiful little kids. She was a parent to her siblings when hers were no longer around. This woman could take on the world and get right back up. She was a talented athlete, smart, funny, goofy, compassionate, a voice of reason. She was strong. I love you Superstar. I will see you again. It won’t be soon, but it won’t be that long either. I will rejoice when we are back together again. I will not give up. I will be strong and I will make my life worth living, just like you did. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. I hope that you felt loved by me and know that I would do anything for you.
I promise to keep an eye on your little sister and brother and your kids. They will be okay too. I am very sorry that I did not call more often. I am sorry that I didn’t get up to your new place to visit you. If you ever felt like you weren’t that important to me, you were wrong. You mean the world to me. I love you.
It can be anything from seeing graffiti to a unique building. Not a day goes by that I am not inspired to rush home and draw.
This weekend was an overload of inspiration.I went to the Martin Luther King Celebration at the World Beat Center. This place is located in Balboa Park, San Diego. The outside and inside of the building is covered in bright cheerful murals. There were Aztec Dancers, Capoeira dancers and Raggae bands. It was a feast for the eyes as well as the ears. After spending a few hours in that luscious place and leaving with some great gifts, I strolled around Balboa Park.
The architecture and art adorning the park is magnificent. Every time I go there, I find something new. This time I found a hidden valley that contained giant trees with roots taller than me, a mural divided into 3 panels and a Jazz musician playing the Pink Panther theme song.
This Tree of Fortune was inspired by the inability to know what the future really holds, but to know that it always holds something to inspire and activate my soul.
I have been meaning to add this to my online store for months. Perhaps I am not the only person to have dreams of hamburger type aliens from outer space attacking earth in a shower of meteors?
So it really is in the eye of the beholder?
After years of wanting to be beautiful I finally feel that way. There is quite a difference between being told you are beautiful and actually believing it. It took me forever to have this chance to look in the mirror and think “Wow! I really am pretty.” Unfortunately this came at a point in my life when I also realized that beauty only gets you so far. The rest has to do with talents, ability, emotional stability.
Yeesh! If only I had figured this out earlier. I could have been working on my talents instead of waiting for my looks to arrive. So my new goal is to grow my talents and find out what I really want from life. This blog is part of my journey. Time to let go my fears and see what I am capable of.
Wish me luck…….
🙂
Hello World,
I would like to take this moment and share my pity party with anyone who would hear my cry. Am I alone out here or is my voice so similar to others that it has become a dull beat lost in the rhythm of sadness? Ah it is not as if I have nobody to listen. I am sure that my family and friends would lend a sympathetic ear. I have a wonderful circle of people in my life. Yet they all live so far away or they have families of their own now. I don’t want to bother them with my weight. They have their own to carry.
Sigh. Life gave me lemons, but I was to lazy to make lemonade. Instead I just threw them in a pitcher with a packet of sugar and expected it to taste great. Life takes effort, love takes time and the world waits for no person. Age creeps up beside me like a trusted yet ominous friend. I feel the hands of time ticking away at my soul. Tomorrow I will do it… I am not prepared… Later when I have more skills… Oh the excuses I tell myself!
Perhaps tomorrow will be a happier day where I can let go my anxiety and enjoy the world as it is. Only one way to find out and that is to sleep now and awake in the morning with a open mind.
🙂
Welcome to my blog of doom… oops I mean blog of good cheer. I plan on using this as a release on this emotional rollercoaster of mine. Yes I am the stereotypical tortured artist. Though these days I prefer to think of myself as the constantly learning artist. It’s a much brighter way of looking at the world. I prefer bright these days. There were too many dark ones I spent wallowing in pain and lameness. My new quest is to find all the beauty I can in this loco mundo. I know it is out there just waiting to be enjoyed by the likes of all that are hopeful and optimistic. If you are so inclined, please leave a comment on any post of mine and feel free to share links and photos to your own adverntures.
Individual Empowerment 