Ouch.

I just lost one of my best friends.  We had known each other for 10 years, and been through so much together.  I still cant believe she’s gone. It’s been hard to get much work done, even harder to care about working at all.  I really want to rewind time even if I could just hug her one last time.

She was a wonderful friend. She was amazing, the kind of person who got along with everybody.  She always had a smile to share and encouraging words to dish out.  The world has lost so much with her death.   Words cannot describe how I feel right now.  Grief is one, numb is another. I feel antsy and sad. I miss her so much. I just want her back. I want to tell her again how much she means to me.

She was younger than me and left behind 2 beautiful little kids.  She was a parent to her siblings when hers were no longer around.  This woman could take on the world and get right back up.  She was a talented athlete, smart, funny, goofy, compassionate, a voice of reason.  She was strong.   I love you Superstar.  I will see you again. It won’t be soon, but it won’t be that long either. I will rejoice when we are back together again.  I will not give up. I will be strong and I will make my life worth living,  just like you did.  Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. I hope that you felt loved by me and know that I would do anything for you.

I promise to keep an eye on your little sister and brother and your kids. They will be okay too. I am very sorry that I did not call more often. I am sorry that I didn’t get up to your new place to visit you. If you ever felt like you weren’t that important to me, you were wrong. You mean the world to me. I love you.

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