Healing through art & therapy! I used to be depressed and codependent with very low self worth and many unhealthy habits. But several years ago I started the healing process and am sharing what I learned with gratitude and hope for each of us. Peace & hugs, Leah
As I was walking through a newly discovered canyon near my house the other day, struggling against disparaging thoughts and overwhelmed with worries I found the end of the trail. I was disappointed that I now had to retrace my steps instead of continue forward. Usually the end of a trail opens up into a street, but this time a chain link fence appeared.
As I turned around my thoughts also turned. I remembered how often I have reversed and altered my direction because of one reason or another, be it good or bad and there was no way to move forward.
I realized that my current thoughts were getting me nowhere as was my impassive attitude. Too much stress was destroying my happiness. Too many failures was causing me to feel like one giant mistake. This way of thinking won’t get me anywhere. I know it’s time to move in a new direction. I feel it, I crave it, but I’m not sure which way.
Life involves growing in and out of various stages. Once we possess new knowledge we must either use it for self growth or ignore it and become stagnant beings.
I choose to use what I’ve learned in my next incarnation and embark upon this new adventure.
Chances are you know a family member, a friend or an acquaintance who has been the victim of a violent attack, domestic abuse, sexual assault or bullying. If so you may understand how traumatic this was for them.
I was a victim of violence, my family, my friends and those in my classes have been victims. I am sick and tired of violence and that’s why I continue teaching free self-defense classes in my community. I’ve taught over 200 women, girls and those who identify as LGBTQ since 2012. I want to teach thousands more. Since I’m underemployed and the costs are expensive, I’ve started a crowdfunding campaign. I need help sharing it! That’s where you come in!
Would you like to help SHARE my campaign?
Share it on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube or wherever! Blog about it, send it in an email and tell a friend. That’s all I’m asking you to do. If you want to see safer spaces and less violence, please share my campaign, GoFundMe.com/FreeDefense. Thank you.
Sexual health and STD testing are topics no one really wants to talk about, and unfortunately that means a lot of people tend to neglect them. Sure, many of us go through basic sexual education in school, and many more are fortunate enough to have parents or other influences who address sexual health in a thorough manner. But sometimes the real information of the process of maintaining sexual health is left somewhat vague, and whether we mean to or not, we may ultimately become neglectful of our personal wellbeing in these areas.
This article is just a reminder about some of the important aspects of maintaining personal sexual health. And with that said, here’s what to keep in mind!
Know The Statistics A lot of people view STDs (or STIs) as being rare or purely as side effects of reckless sexual encounters. Yet, one of the most important aspects of controlling your sexual health is understanding that these perceptions are false. According to these statistics, 50 percent of sexually active people will get an STD/STI before the age of 25. That doesn’t exactly qualify diseases and infections as “rare,” and that’s in part because not all of them are caused by reckless encounters. Safe sex practices can go a long way toward preventing STDs, but unfortunately there is always some risk for sexually active individuals. Understanding this can help you to be more open to the idea that regular testing is necessary.
Know The Diseases Most anyone who qualifies as a young adult or older can rattle off a list of common STDs. Their names are familiar to us, whether through sexual education or, unfortunately, frequent mention in TV or film comedies. However, a lot of people struggle to differentiate between them or understand the various implications of each one. This is problematic in that it can actually lead to your ignoring symptoms or taking a situation lightly that requires immediate attention. This outline of major STDs can help you learn about the common diseases and infections in addition to their various symptoms and short- and long-term effects. Having a firm grasp on these conditions is a vital way to safeguard yourself against suffering from one of them.
Know How To Get Tested Understanding the numbers, symptoms, and effect behinds STDs is all important, but thorough knowledge of the topics doesn’t always lead to regular testing or healthy practices. Often, this is simply because people aren’t sure exactly how or where to undergo regular testing. Mayo Clinic has a helpful description of different types of testing for different conditions. With most of them. the first step is to simply speak with your primary care physician. He or she will either be able to conduct a test personally or recommend a clinic or office where you can get whatever testing you need. As for frequency, it’s generally recommended that you have a thorough STD/STI checkup at least once a year (consider it another aspect of an annual physical), or following any encounter you believe has put you at risk. While it may seem like common knowledge to some, this type of information is relevant for sexually active individuals and should be taken to heart. Unfortunately, sexual education is often inadequate or incomplete for many of us, and taking the time to understand the relevant topics and practice basic precaution can keep you healthy.
Jenn Sawyer is a freelance writer and aspiring journalist. Her favorite topics to cover are women’s rights and sexual health. She is hoping to work in a communications role for a non-profit that supports these causes someday. You can contact her via twitter at: @_JennSawyer_
My very cool brother sent me to this new site and I love it! It’s a graphic novel based off of the early Suffragist movement for equality and it kicks ass! Set in a alternate history, suffragists are forced to go underground and become brave fighters. How cool is that!!!
The Suffrajitsu Army by Tony Wolf and artist Joao Vieria.
“The Self Love Diet: The Only Diet That Works” is not a book about losing physical weight or how to diet better. It is an opportunity to lose the mental weight of our issues that chain us to eating disorders.
Author Michelle Minero, a licensed therapist, shares invaluable lessons and therapies that any of us can use to create a healthier life which doesn’t involve obsessing over our pant size. Her book may be that extra tool you need to retrieve your inner strength and heal from an eating disorder. As she says in the book, “We need to be able to tap into the potency of the power that comes from loving ourselves.” She cautions that though it is “tricky”, it is absolutely possible.
Some of the points I really enjoyed were about the damaging effects of becoming malnourished from eating poorly, the effects of family, religious and ethnic beliefs which can cause hate or love toward our bodies and learning how to see our bodies as instruments vs. ornaments.
She also writes about the science of mirror neurons which are a relatively new discovery that explain how we learn by watching others and absorbing ideas. Have you ever tried the exercise of looking into a mirror and telling yourself “I love you”? The first time I tried this I felt silly, but over time I’ve noticed that it does make me feel good to see myself saying I love you. It’s similar to when a family or friend tells me they love me. Self-love is indeed as important as receiving and giving love to others.
Each chapter offers action steps and loving exercises you can take to heal or help someone heal. My favorite action to take is starting a self-love journal. For most of my life I’ve used writing to help me with issues and heal from trauma. Starting a journal can feel daunting so I recommend you personalize your journal and make it fun. In my journal I write inspiring quotes to myself and decorate each page with colors and illustrations.
While I don’t personally have an eating disorder, this book is a great reminder to love my own body after the many years I spent degrading myself in a vain attempt to look as beautiful as an airbrushed model.
I highly recommend reading this book if :
-You are dealing with an eating disorder.
-You have a loved one, or even a co-worker, who is dealing with an eating disorder.
*Be aware the author does mention God, however it is not to push a specific religion down your throat, but as a spiritual resource. If it was religious I wouldn’t be reading it.
Michelle E. Minero is a Licensed Marriage, Family Therapist who has dedicated her work to helping people recover from eating disorders and body-hatred. Michelle graduated from the University of San Francisco with a B.A. in psychology in 1976 and a master in counseling in 1988. She created the Quest Program, an intensive outpatient eating disorder program for PsychStrategies Inc. in 2000. She brought the ANAD support group to Petaluma and founded Eating Disorders Recovery Support Inc. in 2005. Learn more at TheSelfLoveDiet.org and LoveWarriorCommunity.com
What do you love about yourself? What parts of yourself could you learn to love more?
I vaguely remember a time when I felt particularly strong and happy and that was very long ago as a child. Throw in a few traumas and tragedies, too many years of being bullied along with a genetic link to depression and that time has become a distant memory that I can barely grasp.
From the stories my moms friends told me they make it seem like I was a very independent child. Also since I know my mom loved me unconditionally all my life than it makes sense that once upon a time I was much stronger. I really crave to be brave and happy again. Most days I feel that way, but there are still days when I feel very alone and unable to succeed. Patience is indeed a gift.
I’m unlearning everything I know that is unhealthy for me. It’s not easy. I make mistakes. I get tired and want to give up, but I feel like deep inside me is this really bright shining light that is slowly burning through this heavy, darkness I have aquired. When I think of myself just four years ago I can definitely see how much I have grown and that helps me stay focused. So what have I unlearned?
I’ve unlearned the false idea that material wealth makes me happy and that retail therapy is a quick fix like any drug.
I’ve unlearned all the hateful words my peers preached to me during our school years. I know the reason they were mean was because of their own pain and anger.
I’ve unlearned the idea that I must be in a sexual/romantic relationship to be happy. Happiness is an inside job and most of the time I am able to harness that strong power and feel happy in challenging times.
I’ve unlearned the lie that I must be thinner, prettier and strive to look flawless. My weight and features don’t define me and that flawless is a ridiculous ideal used to sell products and control others.
I’ve unlearned the screwed up idea that money will buy happiness. Yes money is an important part of my life because we live in a capitalist society and I enjoy having an education, mass transit, public utilities and a roof over my head, but I’ve been unhappy with money and without. I know that amassing large amounts of it will not make me happy on the inside.
What do you have to unlearn in order to move forward?
I was lucky to have studied ballet and dance in my youth. Even though life took me down a different path I still love dance and everything about it. Whenever I come across an interesting dancer I get excited. Have you ever heard of Angela Bowen? I only recently learned about her. She is a role models for girls around the world.
Watch this YouTube video trailer for the “Passionate Pursuits of Angela Bowen”.
Please support the film at www.jenniferabod.com and consider bringing Passionate Pursuits to your community.The Passionate Pursuits of Angela Bowen is the story about a young black girl who came of age during the Jim Crow era in the 1940s and 50s in Roxbury, Massachusetts, and how her early home life and experiences influenced her passions, mission and strategies for survival over six decades.
In the film, Angela Bowen, a passionate dancer, choreographer, teacher, activist, writer, and professor confronts racism, sexism, and homophobia, transforming her own life, and the lives of those around her. The through-line in Passionate Pursuits reveals how Bowen managed to be her authentic self wherever and whenever she stood–from the stages of the La Scala Opera House to the university classroom.
Bowen’s stories and compelling interviews with her dance mentor, Elma Lewis, former dance partner, Kenneth “Kamal” Scott, former students–dance and academic–lesbian and gay activists, educators, family members, and colleagues, illuminate the challenges that she faced, the depth of her Influence, and encompass the major cultural and social justice movements of our time.
Passionate Pursuits is important to anyone who wants to know more about the experiences and complexities of black women’s lives, the history of Black Dance, and the emergence of Black Feminism and its importance in white women’s lives.
I spent a lifetime gaining stuff , not nice expensive brand name stuff, just stuff, and a lot of it was low quality. It cluttered up my life along with millions of thoughts that I was never good enough until I had everything. Does this sound familiar? Below are my most common thoughts that have cluttered my brain and pushed out the loving, clear and innovative thoughts I really believe.
Thoughts to get rid of:
“I’m Not Good Enough.
“If Only I Had….”
“Why Am I Such a Failure?”
“Why Is Everyone Else Happy All the Time?”
Now be still and be mindful. Are these thoughts helping you at all? Probably not. While it’s important to be realistic, negativity, doubt and anger are clutter that keeps clear and innovative thoughts from shining through.
Think of how hard it is to find something to wear when your clothes are scattered across your room, shoved in drawers and laying on the floor of your closet. (If you’ve NEVER had a messy closet, than think of a time and place when you had to search for something in a bunch of clutter.) Once you’ve picked up and organized your clothing it’s easier to see what you absolutely love to wear and what needs to go.
The trick to changing your thoughts is using proactive and kind words. You need to train or retrain your brain to think positively. “Positive” doesn’t mean you need to be little miss sunshine all the time, but you want to steer clear of thoughts that fill you with doubt in regards to areas of your life where you thrive. Negative thoughts that devalue your characteristics, natural talents, skills and accomplishments are not helpful.
CHANGE “I’m not good enough” to “I’m great at (insert your strengths/skills).” or “I may not be an acclaimed author yet, but I’m learning how right now and that’s good enough.”
CHANGE “If only I had..” to “I actually do have (insert item/action).” or “I know that I can work towards what I need.”
CHANGE “Why am I such a failure?” to ” I’m successful at (insert your accomplishments).” or “It’s okay to fail, even as often as I do. What matters is that I will keep moving forward.” or “I believe in myself, I trust myself, I love myself.”
CHANGE “Why is everybody else happy all the time?” to “I will not compare myself to others.” or “It’s okay to feel unhappy sometimes.” or “What is bothering me and how can I fix it?”
Please remember that nobody is happy all the time. Most of us have days where we feel awful, sad, lonely or angry at the world for various reasons. It is okay to be unhappy and feel down. You’re not a bad person just because you don’t walk around smiling and high fiving everyone or pretending to feel good when you actually feel bad.
Youdeserveto feelgood and one way to feel happy, balanced and healthy is to declutter your mind. While you’re at it have a yard sale and get rid of the stuff cluttering your home or work space. It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we lessen our load. 🙂
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Individual Empowerment 