podcast

Episode 4: Losing My Codependency

What is your self-care win this week? In this mini-podcast I talk about my self-care win of not being codependent. After a lifetime of acting codependent. Here is a story of how I lost my codependency last summer.

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When a few of my friends moved away last summer, I was feeling sad and lonely. One of those friends didn’t say goodbye. I was hurt. For about two weeks I felt sorry for myself and wondered how soon I could make new friends. Then I remembered the quote “Just because you think you’re stuck, doesn’t mean you are.” (Coincidentally this was from a codependency group.) I meditated and set boundaries. I removed the phone number of the friend who didn’t feel the need to say goodbye and stopped following her on Instagram. The first two weeks were rough. I wanted to reach out, but I knew that I had reached out enough. I knew deep in my bones that it was time to let them go on with their journey. This happened quickly, but in reality it was years of therapy that brought me to this point.

Six months later, I haven’t feel codependent towards them or any of my friends. When I occasionally start feeling the need to reach out I first search for other options, like going for a hike by myself, or stopping at a cafe for a drink and a book or language study session. It’s amazing because I never realized that I could feel this way. I didn’t know that I was codependent or that I needed to work on this issue, but I am feeling like a real winner about it.

  • What is one if your self-care wins?
  • How are you at setting boundaries?
  • How often do you place your needs first, second, third to others?

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D.I.Y. Therapy

Self-Care Win – What’s Yours?

Self-care is the greatest idea, especially if you grew into a codependent adult like I did.  Wow has it been a struggle to place my needs first. It’s been one hell of a journey! These days, I succeed 90% of the time. 

For example: When a few of my friends moved away this summer, I was feeling sad and lonely. One of those friends didn’t say goodbye. I was hurt. For about two weeks I felt sorry for myself and wondered how soon I could make new friends. Then I remembered the quote “Just because you think you’re stuck, doesn’t mean you are.” (Coincidentally this was from a codependency group.) I meditated and set boundaries. I removed the phone number of the friend who didn’t feel the need to say goodbye and stopped following her on Instagram. The first week was rough. I wanted to reach out, but I knew that I had reached out enough. I knew deep in my bones that it was time to let them go on with their journey.

For the past two months, I haven’t feel codependent towards her or any of my friends. When I start feeling the need to reach out I look for other options, like going for a hike by myself, or stopping at a cafe for a drink and a book or language study session. It’s amazing because I never realized that I could feel this way. I didn’t know that I was codependent or that I needed to work on this issue, but I am feeling like a real winner about it.

What is one if your self-care wins?

How are you at setting boundaries?

How often do you place your needs first, second, third to others?

collage of hummingbird surrounded by

I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Journey E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other free creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.