Self-care is the greatest idea, especially if you grew into a codependent adult like I did. Wow has it been a struggle to place my needs first. It’s been one hell of a journey! These days, I succeed 90% of the time.
For example: When a few of my friends moved away this summer, I was feeling sad and lonely. One of those friends didn’t say goodbye. I was hurt. For about two weeks I felt sorry for myself and wondered how soon I could make new friends. Then I remembered the quote “Just because you think you’re stuck, doesn’t mean you are.” (Coincidentally this was from a codependency group.) I meditated and set boundaries. I removed the phone number of the friend who didn’t feel the need to say goodbye and stopped following her on Instagram. The first week was rough. I wanted to reach out, but I knew that I had reached out enough. I knew deep in my bones that it was time to let them go on with their journey.
For the past two months, I haven’t feel codependent towards her or any of my friends. When I start feeling the need to reach out I look for other options, like going for a hike by myself, or stopping at a cafe for a drink and a book or language study session. It’s amazing because I never realized that I could feel this way. I didn’t know that I was codependent or that I needed to work on this issue, but I am feeling like a real winner about it.
What is one if your self-care wins?
How are you at setting boundaries?
How often do you place your needs first, second, third to others?
I’m an artist and writer with a focus on art therapy. If you would like to support my heart work, please consider becoming a monthly patron on Patreon.com/Loviedo. For $1 a month*, you can fund programs like my D.I.Y. Therapy: Healing Journey E-course, my monthly “Radical” e-zine and other free creative healing projects, like “Cultivating Radical Self-Love: A Collaboration of Healers, Artists & Writers“.
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