Empowering Discussions

Being Brave: Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into the Ball Pit

I love social experiments that bring people together and create an opportunity to be friends.  On the YouTube Soul Pancake channel there is a video about strangers sitting in a ball pit and learning about each other, Watch “Take a Seat, Make a Friend” at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfHV4-N2LxQ and see how simple it can be to step out of your comfort zone with new people.

Moving past my shyness and reserved personality has been one of the top 3 actions that have saved my life. Being so insecure around strangers turned me into an emotional hermit. Finally at this age I can strike a conversation with just about anyone. Sometimes I still get intimidated and totally shut people down with a look or by ignoring them, but that is okay. Obviously there are many times when this does protect me, like on the bus or street when some creepy guy or tweaked out stranger tries to get my attention in an inappropriate manner. This isn’t a knock against introverts. Being reserved has a lot of pros, like the ability to listen, to enjoy quiet, to lead without force, and a host of other talents. However life is about balance and interaction with others so….

If I had never taught myself to be more open towards others I wouldn’t be successful at teaching self defense, my books would have even fewer readers, and I wouldn’t make new friends. Unfreezing myself and jumping into situations that scared me is part of what saved my life. I was in such a negative place for so long and it was a downward spiral towards wanting to just die. Maybe your situation is not as severe as mine or maybe it is worse. You won’t ever create positive change without taking chances and pushing yourself to try.  

So if you want to be more open,more social, and to step out of your comfort zone go find a “ball pit” and introduce yourself to the other person there. You never know what sort of adventure it will become.

 What obstacles have you overcome to succeed?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

Empowering Discussions

Have You Ever Taken a Jump Into New Territory?

Have you ever taken a jump that changed your life for the better?

Or are you still waiting and longing for what might be?

It doesn’t have to be unplanned. You can lay out a map before you, gather supplies, and start now.

changeisup2u, up to you, volunteerism

Jumps are fun. I have had a few, but the one that really stands out is when I decided to never again be a victim. I wanted to be a fierce and independent woman. Finally last August I trained to be a self defense instructor, earned my certification, and now teach classes. I feel like the kind of person I used to long to be.

Al Bagocious asked this question and received some intriguing answers. Amazingly all the answers were from women. Check out his blog post to be inspired:  http://albagocius.wordpress.com/2013/08/18/leaps-of-faith-womens-division/

If you want to jump, but aren’t taking the chance is it because of fear? Are you willing to go your whole life filled with a regret about that one chance you could have taken, but held back from?  If it isn’t life threatening than maybe you should go ahead and stretch those legs as far as possible and see what happens.

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PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

Empowering Discussions

What You Stand For Becomes Where You Spend Money

Vote with your dollar” is a popular expression and one I now lovingly embrace. I never gave much thought to how spending my money somewhere might actually be supporting hate or prejudice. I grew up obsessed with the newest styles and shiniest gadgets and got myself into a lot of debt that way. It’s disappointing to find out that a place I liked to shop at is actually my enemy. (I am also disappointed in my own irresponsible choices that are not good for me or others.) Wal-Mart is the most famous example. For goodness sakes, they think women should be paid less than men! Well being a woman I can’t stand for that so I will not shop there anymore. I already reduced my trips to them based on how they hurt small business owners by undercutting prices and hurt the environment by mass production of toxic manufacturing processes. Until learning about their anti-female agenda I would stop there for “emergency” supplies when other stores were too far or expensive, but that is OVER!

Other places Like Chik-Fil-A served such a bland sandwich(back when I ate meat) that I wouldn’t eat there again anyway, but once learning about their hate towards LGBTQ people they wouldn’t even be an “emergency” snack.

GAP makes comfortable classic clothing that l love for everyday, but when I read they wouldn’t support safety measures in their overseas factories I stopped shopping there. But does it count if I still buy their label at a second hand shop or charity shop? What do you think?

As the years add up my need for things lessens. I am more interested in experiences than accumulation. Still I will need to buy new clothes at some point. I need my contacts and the cleaning solution. I need new tires for my bike and if I ever own a car again I need to buy gas and oil. I need to buy food and won’t always have a local health food store or coop to pick up organic non packaged food.

empowered people, power to the people, personal choice, how to make smart choices

 

Was the shirt I bought made by slave or sweat shop labor?

Am I polluting the world through toxic transportation fuels?

Was my food picked by farm hands that are forced to work with dangerous pesticides or are not protected under the law and thus easily taken advantage of by their employers?

Despite these worries, I can control a lot and am intent on making choices that are not only good for me and my wallet, but for people everywhere. Because part of living empowered is supporting others and ensuring that every one has access to healthy living standards.

 

When a lot of us make the same small changes those add up and WE make a difference. The first step is research. Yes I know you only have so much time in the day, but is spending a few minutes to see if what you buy is making the world better or worse really that hard? I know firsthand what it is like to want the newest and shiniest, but I made a decision to create a world I am proud of and that means changing my actions. It was harder in the beginning, but the more time I spend ensuring my peace of mind through the simple act of paying attention the simpler it is to make the right choices. It’s not easy, but with small steps YOU can stand up for your beliefs by the simple act of consuming less and voting with your dollar. You can get a Better World Shopper Guide http://www.betterworldshopper.com/ to see the impact your purchases. Not sure what you are eating and you can’t buy everything from a local organic farm? Check out the Non GMO Project http://www.nongmoproject.org/. You can look for non-corporate websites to educate yourself. You can choose to do something.

What sustainable changes have you made recently?

How are you voting with your dollar?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading and sharing this blog.

Social Action

She Keeps Fighting Because She Cannot Forget- A Record Holder Fights For Equality

So you think you are having a rough day? Imagine breaking a sports record in your own country and then suffering the indignity of being told that your gender voids your success. That is what happened to Elham Asghari. She broke er 20KM open water swim record while wearing a ridiculously heavy swimsuit that covers everything but her face. Official judges recorded her event, but the misogynistic Iran officials refuse to acknowledge her based on religious bigotry.

Thankfully she is not giving up. She has created a video and a Change.org petition asking for international support to have her accomplishment officially recorded. You can read and sign the petition here: www.change.org/SupportElham Then watch the video “Support Elham: Iranian Swimmer Fights for her Record” on YouTube.com

Elhalm Asghari
Elhalm Asghari from AllVoices.org

As a lover of the outdoors I cannot stand to see women being forced to swim in such constricting attire. Feeling the water on my skin and the waves splashing against my body when I am swimming is wonderful. I never really thought about being lucky that I am allowed to swim in a small  suit when others are not allowed such a “right”. I hope this empowers you to fight for what is important to you and that you will sign her petition and pass it on. Elham Asghari is a harbinger of change. We need more women and men like her who will stand up for what is right so we can evolve into empowered people.

What right will you fight for today?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchasghe my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading.

Empowering Discussions

One of those days. Again? I thought this was over!

There is a GIANT difference between being depressed and being bummed out. I spent years being depressed and when I finally committed to heal myself life became so much better.  After a whole year of feeling balanced I was surprised to find out that I could have such bad days. Plural. Days that just don’t feel right. Stress can be overwhelming and I have been under a lot lately what with not knowing where I would move to and realizing it was going to take a long time to clear all my financial debts.

the definition of possibleThese are the ultimate tests for me.  Can I survive such strong emotions and negative thoughts or will I slip back into darkness? Yes I can survive and no I will not return to depression. I made a decision and every time I start to waver over that because of one, two, or three of “those days” I pinch myself.  I am reminded of why I chose to start living. My friends untimely death was the biggest slap by far. She was gone, but I am still here so it’s time to stop wasting my one and precious life. Working at a job I despised and dreamed about quitting months before I actually did was a push. Seeing how much debt I had created from “feel better” shopping sprees and not being able to hold a job was a reason. Being unhappy and not wanting to hate myself and my body was another reason. Seeing my nieces and nephew growing up and not being able to spend time with them was sad. Realizing I hated myself was the last straw.

Change takes time and hard work. I sometimes forget that small fact of life. Instant gratification may have become a cultural norm, but that doesn’t mean we have to live that way.

When the storm moves in and the rain starts flooding my mind with apathy I consciously push those clouds back until I find the sun. Once I can see that yellow ball of warmth I am reminded of all that I want, all that I lost, all I have accomplished, and all that can be if only I try. So if you are having one of those days, weeks, or months, remind yourself that you are capable of changing your situation. Pinch your arm. Wake Up!

What do you really want?

What actions must you take to get that?

Are you willing to put forth the effort?

Change is always up to you.

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading.

Social Action

It’s time to leave this relationship

How do you know when it is time to leave? Ask someone who left her abuser. This is a great post that highlights acts of emotional abuse. http://krishannah.wordpress.com/2013/07/26/emotional-abuse-is-more-than-just-yelling/

If someone says they “love you, BUT..”, that “but” is a warning sign. If they threaten you with a nasty custody battle, that is another warning sign. Please read this post and educate yourself on how to notice the warning signs of abuse. If you are in a bad relationship and need to leave call the national DV hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. It may be time to leave.

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Empowering Discussions

Stand Tall

There comes a point in our lives when we have to let go of hate, stand up for what is right and let our true selves shine through to create a brighter, healthier, happier, and more accepting world.

Sticks and stones

Names and taunts

We won’t fold

In our heart we hold

Hope that won’t sway

Love that will never go away

We are not wrong

We are right

Together we are strong.

“Isn’t it time you got over, how fragile you are. We’re all waiting, waiting on your supernova. Because that’s who you are” – from the song Shine by Anna Nalick. Watch the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgiZz-aqheU

Social Action

Why is Having Pride Important?

Because we should not allow others opinions to make us feel ashamed of our truest self.

This weekend I checked off an item on my bucket list.  I marched in the San Diego Pride parade. This is a parade representing the rights of people who identify as LGBTQ to live with respect and dignity without hiding their love. I had wanted to simply attend a parade, but the North County LGBT Resource Center offers anyone a chance to march with them. How awesome is that!

In the spirit of parading around I painted a tank top with my motto and logo for the Up To You project. “Change is Up To You” is on the front and “Equal Love” on the back. Being the fancy type, I decorated it with a rainbow of colors from my roommates highlighter collection and her daughters glitter.  At the parade I found a mom and daughter with cute tops as well and snagged a photo of us three.

Even though I identify as hetero, the point of marching is as important as my ancestors who marched for civil rights and women’s rights in the early and mid 1900’s.  While we weren’t sprayed with hoses or victims of violence, we did walk by some ugly protesters. We were whooping and hollering so loud I don’t what those angry people said, but their signs were cruel enough.  I am proud to stand up and openly say I support equal rights for everyone.  The bright spot there was the man standing near them with a sign stating a simple message “Assholes” with an arrow pointing at the protesters. Ha! 

Luckily that was a extremely small section of parade goers. The hundreds or thousands of people waving and hollering along with us were full of nothing buy love. If you’re ever feeling sad find a pride parade to march in and your spirits will soar!

SDPride.2013

I met some wonderful people including a recently wed couple with their out and proud daughter, and an array of people with different skin colors, ages, and shapes. There were churches, marines, and navy personal as well as floats from grocery stores representing equality for LGBTQ! See more at the official website: SDPride.org

It’s not just about dressing up crazy or letting your freak flag fly. The way I see it, Pride is a chance for people to show the world they are equal in deserving legal rights, acceptance, and tolerance. I am so thankful to have grown up in such a diverse family. It hasn’t always been easy and even now at my age I sometimes find it hard to fit in with those who prefer pursuing traditionally conservative roles. Life is great because of diversity, not in spite of that.  If you haven’t marched in a Pride parade I highly recommend the experience.

What are you PROUD of about yourself?

PS. If you enjoy this blog you may enjoy my published books. You can read, leave a comment, and purchase my books on Bookemon or  Amazon. Thank you for reading. Leave a comment!

Leah.Pride.Banner.2013

Up To You - initiative for change

Part two of the Up To You Project

In my quest to share and inspire via the Up To You book series, I have created a blog/website. This is my latest part of the Up To You project which started with the first book, “How Will You Create Positive Change”. Would you be willing to write a comment on my new blog about a time when you volunteered in your community?

Here is the link: http://changeisup2u.wordpress.com/I would like to have a million people leave a comment. If you like this project please pass it along to a friend or all your friends asking them to share a time when they volunteered, had their life changed by an act of kindness or otherwise became engaged in their community.

Empowering Discussions

How to ruin your credit, lose money, be unemployable, and sleep on the streets!

Ever heard this one? “Life takes us on a journey of failures before we find true success”

Like most cute sayings it is not helpful. I am tired of failing. I just want a second job, any job. I WANT MORE WORK! I want to earn enough to pay off my debts. I want a career that is rewarding and resonates with my passions. I made a lot of bad financial choices in my younger years that are negatively impacting my life today. I suppose the silver lining here is that I can be an example of what NOT to do with your one and precious life.

I went to Art School! DON’T go to Art School unless you have a full scholarship. Any art degree is useless! Sadly these days most other college degrees are NOT worth the debt either.  Go to community college, vocational school, or take free online courses. If you are smart you won’t take out student loans. If you insist on going into debt for school choose something practical like business or nutrition. Be involved in some academic or business club so you can gain experience while you have the time. Don’t just go to class to get by, use this time wisely to network, find an internship, learn extra skills not taught in class, and ask for help. Your professors and counselors will not ask if you need help. You have to be fierce and ask them for assistance.

I maxed out a credit card!  DON’T use a credit card for clothes, eating out, or fun activities. Cards are good for medical emergencies, if you need to rent a car, or if you ever plan on getting a loan for a home or business. If you have poor credit you will not be able to rent an apartment. So if you get a card only use it once every few months and only on things you need like toiletries and food. No cash advances unless it is an emergency!  You will also get calls and letters from collectors. Some are nice, but many are downright scary!  Every dollar you spend has to be paid back! It’s not free or magic money. You might even go to jail.

I couldn’t stay at one job! So you are the creative type and you have big dreams that have nothing to do with your “day” job? Or are you just flat out LAZY? Well forget all that. You need money to pay rent, buy food, and pay that student loan even though I just told you not to get one. I have worked so many jobs I don’t even bother listing all those on my resume. I would work a job until I was bored and then I would quit. So now I have a crappy resume. If your job is boring ask your supervisor for more work. How about working 2 part time jobs that are different so you don’t get bored?  If you really dislike your job find a new job before you quit.

I thought happy endings were guaranteed! This world owes you nada, nothing, zilch, zero!  I never tried hard enough, never did enough research before starting a project or business. I spent my youth watching TV and reading books about happy endings. There is a lot of work behind the scenes that we don’t see, but that’s not good entertainment so we don’t see it. I thought the right choice would be obvious and life would shine a rainbow at the best opportunities. Hahahahahaaha! Oh that is too funny! Life will use you as a punching bag and throw your lifeless, bloody, mangled body on the ground. There is no easy way. I repeat: THERE IS NO EASY WAY! Work smart and work hard or be a failure.

I spent all my money! SAVE MONEY! Put away 10% or 25% of each paycheck in a savings account. Calculate how much money you have with this in mind before you go out for fun Friday nights. If you don’t have the cash, don’t spend it. Find free or cheaper activities. One day you could be stuck with a part time job that doesn’t pay you enough to pay the bills and your bank account is frozen by the IRS, or you get taken to court by a collection agency(thankfully this hasn’t happened to me yet). Do you want to stand on a street corner begging for change?

Unfortunately I learned this all the hard way. I had big dreams and made bad choices (It didn’t help that I was debilitatingly depressed for 17 years). Now I am paying the price of failure. In our current economic depression employers have hundreds of choices to hire for EACH job! Why would they hire you? If you have a resume with lots of jobs that don’t have anything in common, or periods of unemployment, they won’t take a second look at your resume. Now I spend my free days applying for jobs, hoping that one day my writing career will create a livable income, and wishing I could do it all over again.

If you follow this advice you probably won’t end up giving away most of your belongings, sleeping on friends couches(or if you’re lucky in your car. I wish I had a car to sleep in!), working part time, spending your days applying for jobs that you NEVER hear back from, constantly trying and failing, and wondering if life will ever get better. Good luck!

Author Bio: Leah Oviedo lives in San Diego, California. She is learning to fix her mistakes by turning her skill at writing and love of teaching self defense into financially secure endeavors. Her books are available to read and buy at Bookemon.com and Amazon.com