Tag: war in sudan

Two years ago I was researching death and grief for my book Jody’s Garden. I recently stumbled over some notes that reminded me of how little our society respects grief and how we attempt to ignore death as part of our journey. Below are a few quotes from books that stood out in my research. If you are dealing with death or grief, I hope this give you some sort of healing.

“I am not advocating that humor should cover up grief or that laughter need replace tears. It is important to grieve the loss of a loved one. Unresolved grief often causes problems down the road. What I am saying is that laughter and tears are both valid in the dying and grieving process.” Allen Klein In the Face of Death and Dying.

“…it certainly seems time to move beyond our current habit of using untested theories to create lengthy and agonizing models for loss, ones that I believe have created more fear and anxiety about the experience.” Ruth Davis Koigsberg, The Truth About Grief: The Myth f it’s Five Stages and the New Science of Loss.

“Sometimes we need help to break through our decorum, In many parts of the world, professionals are hired to cry at funerals. Wailers, usually women, stand by the grave and openly grieve, their high cries a kind of ululation, spread among the mourners until they too break down.” Eve Joseph, In the Slender Margin: The Intimate Strangeness of Death and Dying.

Let it go or talk it out. Whichever method is best for you. Grief is an opportunity to heal wounds, settle feuds, let go of anger so that you can heal. Grief is frustrating because it is so final. You might be angry and you are allowed to feel that way. Find ways to forgive the transgressions of your loved ones, before or after death. At least try.

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 “Everybody’s life is valuable and we can’t lose sight of that or else we lose our humanity.” Dr. Tom.

This is a quote from a documentary The Heart of Nuba. While I tend to shy away from movies about “white saviors in Africa”, this quote really stuck with me. I like to think I would risk my life for others, but that thought seems completely irrelevant when compared to people who regularly put their life on the line.

This movie follows a Tom Catena, a surgeon from the USA living and working in Sudan, Africa. He is part of a community under siege by their own government. Bombs are dropped regularly, people are maimed or killed, and families are traumatized. This is on top of other health concerns. Tom, along a team of nurses and medical staff is the only surgeon within 200 miles. He seems very committed to his work, despite the danger of being blown up and rarely being able to see his family.

What makes someone stay in a situation like this?

How do some of us choose work that is so stressful, yet has such impact?

Why is it so easy to watch a documentary like this and continue on with our lives as they have been?

He could leave if he chose, but if so people would die. I cannot watch the violence in a numb sort of horror without wondering why our species hasn’t been able to eradicate war.

You can watch the trailer here: https://youtu.be/Iova_etOUeQ Perhaps it will inspire you to be more compassionate towards others.

*Thankfully, as of February, there has been a one year cease-fire on the Nuba Mountains. http://www.blrck.com/great-news-dr-tom-catena-heart-nuba You can stay updated on Nuba here: https://www.nubareports.org

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