Book Reviews

Book Review: “The Center of Me: The Journey to Finding Your Inner Coach” by Laura L. Barry

“The Center of Me: The Journey to Finding Your Inner Coach” by Laura L. Barry is a worthwhile guide to becoming your own personal cheerleader in life. She encourages readers to be grateful and “celebrate” what we’ve learned instead of beating ourselves(something I used to do to myself with all my time and energy). “We need to take full responsibility and be held accountable, but we don’t have to beat ourselves up.”

The key points I enjoyed in this book are as follows.

  • Investigate emotions, patterns and situations instead of ignoring or exacerbating issues.I am able to do this more and more when I either make a mistake or feel unsure about my next step. It’s amazing what we can realize about ourselves if we stop and look at the bigger picture as well as ask ourselves serious questions.
  • Become authentic and use your “choice” to fix or walk away from people and relationships.This can be difficult if like me you want people to like you and not make others feel bad. I used to think of others before myself a lot and all that did was allow me to ignore my own priorities.
  • Embrace your resistance, explore and discover what is behind it to move forward. When changing your thoughts notice resistant habits. “Remember, resistance is a form of fear.” I remember how hard it was for me to accept the idea that I was lovable and imperfectly perfect. It was as if those bullies from the past were still controlling my thoughts. I wanted change, but I allowed my fear and doubt to hold me back
  • Be present, don’t get swept up in your past mistakes or the mistakes of others. This is something I used to spend a lot of time doing. I thought it was easier to focus on what I did wrong in the past than to focus on moving forward, but once I stopped focusing on the past I discovered that life is so much simpler by living in the present and preparing for my best future.

My favorite exercise was to write a letter to my younger self, thank her for doing the best she could and show compassion. Other exercises I enjoyed included discovering what nourishes me; mind, body and soul as well as what has the opposite effect and investigating resistance, attachment and personal stories that mold me and hold me back.

In the end, Laura reminds us that “Our minds are very powerful and we are much too tolerant of mind-wandering, blaming and criticizing. Being aware of our thoughts is very old wisdom.” I recommend her book if you are ready to be in control of your destiny.

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Book Reviews

Book Review: “Nip It: Stop Negativity Moment by Moment” by Kristen Fredricks and Jeanie Wade

downloadHow many times a day do you curse at a stranger or yourself, slip into a bad mood, or feel angry at small problems? Life is unfair and that makes each of our days full of pitfalls and potholes to fall into and trip over. We have the ability to not get mad, but often allow the negatives to rule our world. This book offers a refreshing solution to our angst by using short stories we can all relate to coupled with a few simple steps to recognize, pause, and nip our negativity in the “butt”.
In addition to the stories the book includes a tree graph that shows you the nip it process, making for a handy resource for home and work. From my own experience with problem solving and individual growth I recommend this book for anyone who is on a course to change their life into one of balance and emotional stability. By stopping the hundreds of negative thoughts we may be creating each day, we can focus on far greater challenges and obstacles that we are bound to encounter.
As someone who knows the darkside of depression and spent 17 years being very negative I like finding books such as this one that teach skills to be our best selves. Changing how we react to situations is not an overnight change. We must take the time to use what we learn in our daily practice. When I finally committed to changing my life I felt great and it started off really well, but I had moments of slipping back into old habits. How I saved myself is by recognizing those moments and consciously choosing a positive course of action.
Awful things still happen like being late for work and really tough times like losing my mother, but the difference is now I stop myself from spiraling down. I remember what I want out of life, take a moment to allow the pain to be present, and then I move forward. Usually the pain subsides immediately, but other times I move forward through the pain until I’m free. The choice is mine. Sometimes you have to deal with an issue and sometimes you have to walk away. This book is one of many tools that can assist you in living a healthier life. Grab your copy at
Book Reviews

You Matter

I have posted before about abusive relationships and I will no doubt post in the future.  Let me make this very clear for those of you who don’t get it.  You matter! You deserve to be treated like the wonderful person you are. You deserve to be loved.

I like this book that can be used for FEMALES AND MALES!  “”Ditch That Jerk: Dealing with Men Who Control and Hurt Women” by Pamela Jayne.  Look for it at your local library or it is available on Amazon,

Being aware of controlling and abusive behavior gives you the power to run your life, but also saves you a lot of grief.  How many people have you met in life that were rude, mean or abusive?  I have met hundreds.  I am related to men and yes WOMEN who are abusive to their partners, children, friends and strangers.  Often they were very charming towards me, but then I learned about things they did to those with whom they had a lot of contact.

Please believe me when I say that whatever wrongs you have done in your past (rapists, abusers and child molesters not included) you DO NOT deserve to be treated badly by someone who says they love you.  You were not born useless or stupid or pathetic. Those are just the sort of things mean people say or imply to control you.  Don’t believe them.

Kick abusive, manipulative, controlling losers out of your life and do not under any circumstances turn around to give them a second chance. Love does not hurt. Love is not pain. Love is not suffering. Love is not obeying.

Love is beauty.  Love feels good. Love is comfort. Love is respect. Love is good.

“You matter. You do not have to put up with people who treat you badly.”