D.I.Y. Therapy

D.I. Y. Therapy: Comparing Ourselves To Others

One of the nastiest ways we can feel bad about ourselves is when we compare our bodies, minds, and accomplishments to others. There will always be someone younger and prettier, smarter and older, or stronger and faster. So what! You have to ask yourself what truly matters. What will you focus on in this life? Your accomplishments or those belonging to another?

I learned the bad habit of comparing way back in elementary school when I compared my status to my peers. In my mind my hand me down clothes, high-water pants, and glasses made me less cool than the pretty girls and the athletic boys. I started down a path of believing and thus being less than others. Because what we believe becomes true wether it is or not. Sadly, I followed that belief through puberty, my early twenties, and all the way to 30. What I picked up was low self-esteem, debt from unhealthy retail therapy, and friends who I constantly wanted to be more like. All this was at the cost of not pursuing my own talents and practicing self-love. It was also a zip line to depression.

Nowadays I rarely compare my life to others, the thoughts occasionally pop into my mind until I become conscious of my suddenly negative outlook. At this point I can stop myself fast, but it took a lot of practice to learn how. This isn’t a super secret, it’s simply choosing not to compare and focusing on who I am and what I can do.

  • Live in the present. Don’t compare where you are to where you want to be. Challenge yourself to accomplish goals that are important to you, not goals that society defines as important. Learn what your strengths are and use those to get what you want out of life.
  • Be aware of your weaknesses. This is important because when we consciously make an effort to say no to unwanted requests or stop addicting behavior, then we have more time to spend on positives. When you start down the path of self-doubt or regret, stop and change those to positive affirmations and focus on lessons learned.
  • Focus on self care; you’ll feel and look your best when you have emotional and physical balance. Eat healthier food and pay attention to how your body feels. What put in and on our bodies affects our physical health and in turn our mental state. Check to see if your personal care products are toxic and rethink that bag of artificially flavored fried chips. Get moving! I know how my depression worsened when I laid in bed or sat around all day.

This action takes time to master, but it’s worth every moment. Once you start feeling good about yourself you won’t want to go back. The downside to changing our lifes is we often have to leave behind people who refuse to change theirs. How many times have you gone along with something because your family, friend or partner was and you wanted to be with them? This doesn’t mean you will have to leave everyone behind. Some of your cherished ones will eventually grow along with you and be able to understad your new self.

 

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D.I.Y. Therapy

D.I.Y. Therapy: What is Going On Here? – Turn On Your Inner Guidance System

Need a little inspiration?
Are you searching for answers?
Turn on your inner guidance system.

Embrace your true self to learn about who YOU are and what you need. While other people can be wonderful guides, only we truly know what’s best for ourselves. Inside you will find inspiration and answers to difficult questions. Psychologists have a term for this called “ego development” which explains that we mature and evolve over our lifespan as we become more self-aware. I take this to mean that if we can accept ourselves, than we can grow into our own guide. This is in place of needing someone or something else to lead the way and tell us what is right. So go ahead and ask yourself who you are and who you want to be. Don’t focus on what society, your family or friends expect. Focus on what feels right for YOU.

Self Awareness means searching for insight about what is your real essence. Accept and celebrate who you are; accept and celebrate your differences. You are not wrong for being different, you just are.

  • What do you love about yourself?
  • What have you accomplished so far?
  • What have you risked?
  • What quirks make you special?
  • What are your strengths?

Even the smallest steps can be difficult; don’t push those aside as unimportant. Look at how you have changed and matured and be proud. En route to self-awareness you might need some help so ask for it, read books, listen to other people and be open to learning something new. You never know when that new information will come in handy during your journey. I can say that from personal experience these are great actions to take.

Over the years I have forced myself to look deeper at my actions and thoughts to see who I really am. I have found that what I used to think was wrong is actually just different. My personal beliefs, my passions, my goals and the process I am taking to get what is right for me. I see and feel life differently than what I see in the masses. This used to bother me and cause the belief that I was broken. I not longer feel there is aright or wrong on most points of view, because as I accept my own differences I can accept that other people also see life through a different lens. What they see is based on who they are and what they have experienced. I am simply gong to live my life in a way that feels right to me. Like the saying goes, “You do your thing and I will do mine.”

How will you know that your inner voice is on track? Once you realize that nobody else can love you as much as you love yourself you won’t crave outside approval to be different. It takes commitment and bravery to go against the expectations of others. We are all capable to think for ourselves. Follow your intuition and really live in a way that YOU feel is right. It will be much easier to get past obstacles when we know our own strength.

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If you like this blog check out my books and art at Leahis.com orAmazon.com. If you are looking for a blogger or blogging consultant hire me at my GoFundMe page.

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D.I.Y. Therapy

D.I.Y. Therapy: How To Balance Your Emotions…The Blissful Balanced Path

My emotions used to rule my world and send me on rollercoaster rides of manic highs and depressing lows. With a few years of diligent work on my personal thoughts and actions, I’ve been able to balance my emotions so that my ride is now steady with only a dip of sadness now and then. I don’t feel perfect all the time, does anybody? Life after all is a variety of emotions. Being sad or upset isn’t fun, but if we’re careful we can take how we feel and turn that into a lesson for how we react in future situations. Paying attention to our emotions also allows us to better gauge if other people are good to have in our life or if we need to stay clear of them.

1.Pay attention to how you feel. Are you hurt, sad, anxious, unsettled, angry?

2. Choose whether to let that emotion take control. Is this a good time to feel that way or will allowing this emotion to continue cause you more problems?

3. Look at problems from a different perspective. Write down the reason you feel this way and imagine alternate ways you can feel about it.

4. Find a solution or a different path. Choose one of those alternates and go with it. You may need to tell someone to get lost because they are being a jerk or you might be the one who needs to apologize for your attitude.

5. Be patient and loving towards yourself. Accept that you like everybody else, are imperfect. Accept and love yourself for your ability to change, grow, and learn.

6. Focus on feeling good, not constantly excited. Stay balanced with breathing exercises, short meditations, or affirmations. Know that you can only do so much and that it’s okay to just be present in your situation. Work on what you can and think of the future only in terms of how you can solve problems. Don’t focus on concerns or worries because that won’t get you anywhere.

7. Remove bad people from your life. You don’t need those who are negative and insist on pulling you into drama situations. If someone makes you feel bad or unsettled then keep them at a distance. You deserve family and friends who respect you and your boundaries. We are all deserving of happiness despite mistakes we make. With inner peace our lives improve because we aren’t muddled with problems and worries.

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If you like this blog check out my books and art at Leahis.com orAmazon.com. If you are looking for a blogger or blogging consultant hire me at my GoFundMe page.

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Empowering Discussions

Pay Attention: Is Your Inner Saboteur Causing Trouble?

The other day I read a very useful post about the Saboteur Archetype from Candess Campbell. She talks about the ways we unconsciously sabotage our lives with little decisions, through ignoring our intuition, and most popularly with fear.

I’m learning (and practicing) to stop my inner saboteur with my intuition and courage. There’s no way I could commit to traveling across the country on my budget without lots of courage. Every time I follow my intuition instead of caving into negative thoughts or easy fixes I feel so much better. Whether it’s choosing healthier food, doing work that improves my skills, or taking a wild leap to follow my dreams. Since I’ve become conscious of my thoughts those moments really stand out for me and stick with me. Read her post at Candesscampbell.wordpress.com/2014/09/12/saboteur-archetype

If you like this blog, check out my books and art at Leahis.com and Amazon.com.

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