Empowering Discussions, Social Action

Empowerment is Not Control or Denial

Individual empowerment is not about telling others that they are wrong, that what they believe is not true or keeping others from being their best.  It is not about living a lie because you are scared of your own feelings and desires.

You can only empower others by being an inspiration and sharing the change in ourselves.  Telling yourself or someone else that you are wrong for your feelings, your gender, your spiritual or religious beliefs is not going to work. You can pretend to be someone else. You can fight your instincts every day, but you will spend ALL your time and energy fighting and  not accepting yourself for who you are. Why? Is it worth it to be angry, to feel unaccepted, to feel wrong all the time?

Sure rehabilitation is something that is needed in certain cases.  Violent offenders should have a chance to change, but changing someone that uses violence is not what this post is about.

The last non-empowering news link that stuck in my head was about torturing lesbians in Ecuador under the guise of curing these women.   It is disgusting and inhumane. These “clinics” that heal with sexual assault and violence are not empowering anyone by fixing them.  Being a lesbian is not a disease.  It is a way of  life for a large chunk of the population.  Luckily actions have been taken to close these horrendous torture clinics down!

http://news.change.org/stories/victory-ecuador-ministry-of-health-investigates-and-closes-ex-gay-torture-clinics

 

Are you living a lie?  Are you taking out your own problems on those that are different than you?  Do you know someone who does?  Start paying attention to yourself and those people.  What is the root of the problem?  Why act one way and feel the complete opposite?

 

 

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Social Action

Don’t Blame Me

So you were raised and taught to treat women like crap?
Too bad!

Along the way you picked up this habit of harassing women and expecting them to submit to your whims, wishes and will.
HA! What a shame!

How pathetic that you choose to act so rude, to follow a path of anger and disrespect towards half the world. You say “It’s not my fault! I only had male role models that acted the same way”.
LIAR!

Turn on the TV and you would see men treating women with respect, kindness and compassion. You could read a book about men that fought for women’s rights.

You CHOOSE to be awful. Don’t give me any more excuses, You are an adult now, you can see what is right and wrong. You can choose to act with repsect.

Don’t talk to me like that! Don’t call me a slut. I am not your baby your whore, a cunt. I have no interest in you so leave me alone. I owe you nothing. I am not the weak one, you are. Be a man, treat women with respect. Make a decision. It has always been your choice.

🙂

Empowering Discussions, Social Action

Don’t Rape Me

I am in love with the message on this shirt. It says “DON’T TELL ME WHAT NOT TO WEAR. TELL PEOPLE NOT TO RAPE” http://www.becausewemust.org/new-shirt-dont-tell-me/

It’s direct, and to the point. I like a message that is very clear. Funny puns are great, but straight up telling people clearly what you want works even better!

This morning I designed a poster for domestic violence awareness. I was inspired by all those tough little girls on the playgorund that double dare and double dog dare each other to do something crazy, to be brave and have fun.

Buy this mini poster at my gift shop, http://www.zazzle.com/love_is_not_supposed_to_hurt_poster-228426404623743277🙂

Empowering Discussions, Social Action

Sexually Molested? Who cares?

According to the San Francisco Gate, this is exactly the attitude of Sheriff Arapaio and the police force of Arizona. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/12/04/MNNQ1M87KG.DTL

This is despicable and horrifying. After volunteering in the Foster Care system I know how often children are sexually assaulted. I have reviewed hundreds of case files that made me cry, sickened me and truly pissed me off.

Can you imagine what it must be like to have someone do this to you? To have someone violate you sexually? How awful will you feel? How sick does it make you, to think of someone doing this to you or your child? If you are an adult you may be able to realize that it is not your fault, but I have never met a child that thought that way. If you are 4, 8, 13 or 17 years old and someone molests or rape you, than you are going to feel like shit. It will change the way to you see relationships and can even scare you away from intimacy. It can be terribly hard to even have sex after being raped or molested because you think of sex as bad and painful.

According to RAINN, http://www.rainn.org/statistics, just in 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault.

We have to give more support to survivors of sexual assault. The affects of sexual assault are not just felt by the survivors and families. Whole communities are affected. When we ignore any group, such as illegal immigrants or those living in poverty, we are also hurting ourselves. You might like to pretend that we are not all connected, but that is one major problem with our world. We don’t want to think that one persons pain has anything to do with us. We like to think that giving money to a cause will make the problem disappear. Well sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. It is a convenient way to live, but it is also a terrible waste.

We have millions of people suffering from post traumatic stress after assaults. Some people internalize stress and some people hurt others to take away the pain. Suppose your romantic partner that you love so much was molested or raped. What if they are unable to trust you because of how someone else hurt them? They might hurt themselves or be emotionally abusive towards you. What if a kid or teenager is molested or raped and then commits suicide? Every kid that knows them, goes to school with them or learns about the story is going to be affected. In extreme cases they may decide to do the same thing. What if it is your kid that emulates them? What happens if a kid is molested at home and then he goes to a park or to school and molests your child?
SEXUAL ASSAULT AFFECTS EVERYONE!

Talk to your children about sexual assault at a young age. Make sure they know what is appropriate and what is not. Tell them experimenting is okay, but never okay to experiment with someone who is not willing. Tell them it is never okay to force themselves on someone else or vice versa. Let them know if ANYONE, family, friends, strangers, adults or other children assaults them you will protect them and keep that monster away.

Be careful about who you let around your children. You have a right to know the history of your childs coaches, teachers, youth leaders or anyone with authority over them. Ask questions. Ask your children how that person treats them. Make sure your child knows it is not okay for anyone in authority or anyone their own age to molest them.

START CARING ABOUT EVERYONE! HAVE A SPEAKER COME TO YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL. VOLUNTEER WITH AN ORGANIZATION SUCH AS RAINN, http://www.rainn.org/get-involved

The truth is only inconvenient if you let your situation control you. If your partner is molesting your child, leave. Go to a shelter or call the national sexual assault help line at 1-800-656-4673

It is important receive proper medical attention and if you want to press charges to collect DNA evidence. If the victim does not want to press charges, it is important to check their health and see if they have contracted any sexually transmitted diseases, STD’s. Learn more about that here: http://www.rainn.org/get-information/aftermath-of-sexual-assault

The following information is for survivors of domestic violence, but can also be used for sexual assault victims. If you are going to leave, use this list from the Women’s Resource Center, http://www.wrcsd.org/get-help/safety/what-to-take-with-you/

#Get a bag together with:
* Money
* Phone numbers for friends relatives, doctors, schools, taxi services, and your local domestic violence organization;
* a change of clothing for you and your children
* Medication that you or your children usually take
* Copies of your children’s birth certificates, social security cards, school records and immunizations
* Copies of legal documents for you and your abuser. This may include social security cards, passports, greencards, medical records, insurance information, birth certificates, marriage license, wills, and welfare identification information
* Copies of financial documents for you and your abuser. This may include pay stubs, bank account information, a list of credit cards you hold by yourself or together with your abuser
* The evidence you’ve been collecting to show that you’ve been abused
* A few things you want to keep, like photographs, jewelry or other personal items

Hide this bag somewhere he will not find it. Try to keep it at a trusted friend or neighbor’s house. Avoid using next-door neighbors, close family members, or mutual friends. Your abuser might be more likely to find it there.

🙂 IT IS TIME TO CARE. WE ARE ALL AFFECTED BY SEXUAL ASSAULT.