Empowering Discussions, Social Action

Sexually Molested? Who cares?

According to the San Francisco Gate, this is exactly the attitude of Sheriff Arapaio and the police force of Arizona. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/12/04/MNNQ1M87KG.DTL

This is despicable and horrifying. After volunteering in the Foster Care system I know how often children are sexually assaulted. I have reviewed hundreds of case files that made me cry, sickened me and truly pissed me off.

Can you imagine what it must be like to have someone do this to you? To have someone violate you sexually? How awful will you feel? How sick does it make you, to think of someone doing this to you or your child? If you are an adult you may be able to realize that it is not your fault, but I have never met a child that thought that way. If you are 4, 8, 13 or 17 years old and someone molests or rape you, than you are going to feel like shit. It will change the way to you see relationships and can even scare you away from intimacy. It can be terribly hard to even have sex after being raped or molested because you think of sex as bad and painful.

According to RAINN, http://www.rainn.org/statistics, just in 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault.

We have to give more support to survivors of sexual assault. The affects of sexual assault are not just felt by the survivors and families. Whole communities are affected. When we ignore any group, such as illegal immigrants or those living in poverty, we are also hurting ourselves. You might like to pretend that we are not all connected, but that is one major problem with our world. We don’t want to think that one persons pain has anything to do with us. We like to think that giving money to a cause will make the problem disappear. Well sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. It is a convenient way to live, but it is also a terrible waste.

We have millions of people suffering from post traumatic stress after assaults. Some people internalize stress and some people hurt others to take away the pain. Suppose your romantic partner that you love so much was molested or raped. What if they are unable to trust you because of how someone else hurt them? They might hurt themselves or be emotionally abusive towards you. What if a kid or teenager is molested or raped and then commits suicide? Every kid that knows them, goes to school with them or learns about the story is going to be affected. In extreme cases they may decide to do the same thing. What if it is your kid that emulates them? What happens if a kid is molested at home and then he goes to a park or to school and molests your child?

Talk to your children about sexual assault at a young age. Make sure they know what is appropriate and what is not. Tell them experimenting is okay, but never okay to experiment with someone who is not willing. Tell them it is never okay to force themselves on someone else or vice versa. Let them know if ANYONE, family, friends, strangers, adults or other children assaults them you will protect them and keep that monster away.

Be careful about who you let around your children. You have a right to know the history of your childs coaches, teachers, youth leaders or anyone with authority over them. Ask questions. Ask your children how that person treats them. Make sure your child knows it is not okay for anyone in authority or anyone their own age to molest them.


The truth is only inconvenient if you let your situation control you. If your partner is molesting your child, leave. Go to a shelter or call the national sexual assault help line at 1-800-656-4673

It is important receive proper medical attention and if you want to press charges to collect DNA evidence. If the victim does not want to press charges, it is important to check their health and see if they have contracted any sexually transmitted diseases, STD’s. Learn more about that here: http://www.rainn.org/get-information/aftermath-of-sexual-assault

The following information is for survivors of domestic violence, but can also be used for sexual assault victims. If you are going to leave, use this list from the Women’s Resource Center, http://www.wrcsd.org/get-help/safety/what-to-take-with-you/

#Get a bag together with:
* Money
* Phone numbers for friends relatives, doctors, schools, taxi services, and your local domestic violence organization;
* a change of clothing for you and your children
* Medication that you or your children usually take
* Copies of your children’s birth certificates, social security cards, school records and immunizations
* Copies of legal documents for you and your abuser. This may include social security cards, passports, greencards, medical records, insurance information, birth certificates, marriage license, wills, and welfare identification information
* Copies of financial documents for you and your abuser. This may include pay stubs, bank account information, a list of credit cards you hold by yourself or together with your abuser
* The evidence you’ve been collecting to show that you’ve been abused
* A few things you want to keep, like photographs, jewelry or other personal items

Hide this bag somewhere he will not find it. Try to keep it at a trusted friend or neighbor’s house. Avoid using next-door neighbors, close family members, or mutual friends. Your abuser might be more likely to find it there.


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