Author: Impower You

Healing through art & therapy! I used to be depressed and codependent with very low self worth and many unhealthy habits. But several years ago I started the healing process and am sharing what I learned with gratitude and hope for each of us. Peace & hugs, Leah
Empowering Discussions

Role Model: Amelia of Make It Safe

Impower You

What happens to teenagers who don’t have any positive resources when they come out as or realize they are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, or Queer(LGBTQ)?  What happens to anyone who is not given support during these years of change?  They get to feel worthless, wrong, or scared.  We’ve seen the news about teens and young adults who commit suicide after being bullied or labeled by their peers.  It’s a terrible that anyone should feel unwanted and unaccepted because of discriminatory beliefs about their sexuality.  But we can stop bullies and discrimination by creating support in our schools. That is what Amelia Roskin-Frazee did. She created the Make It Safe Project, which donates books on sexual orientation and gender identity to schools and youth homeless shelters.

What was your inspiration or what necessitated you to begin this adventure? I got involved in activism after I came out. When I got mixed reactions, I decided to start my middle school’s Gay-Straight Alliance and later became a Student Ambassador for The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).

After the 2011 suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old who was bullied for being gay, I decided I wanted to do more to help LGBT students feel safe. The idea of sending books to schools came to me when I went to my school’s library in search of books about being LGBT and discovered that not only was there a lack of books in my school, but a lack of books in schools and youth homeless shelters nationwide.

What steps did you take to create your program? I spent hours combing the internet for resources that are good for LGBT teens. I read through dozens of books, both fiction and nonfiction, to pick the best ten to include in my boxes. I designed and maintain my website, raise awareness in media and in my school about bullying, reach out to youth homeless shelters, handle donations, and most importantly, talk to the teens who send us e-mails with their stories. Listening to what other people my age have to say is the greatest part of the project for me.

What obstacles were you forced to overcome? Every beginning organization struggles to get funding and publicity. Beyond those challenges, not everyone agrees with The Make It Safe Project’s goal to make schools and shelters a safe and healthy environment for all children. Many of the schools we send books to refused to pay for resources themselves. It can be hard for students to come forward and request books when they have been discouraged. However, with every new article about The Make It Safe Project, more teens find us and can get the books they desperately need.

What must you do to stay operational? I continue to raise awareness about the need for LGBT-related books in schools, frequently update my website, and reach out to youth homeless shelters.

Donations of any size are wonderful and helpful. You can donate on our website, www.makeitsafeproject.org. You can also simply share the link with your friends, on Facebook, or on other social networking sites. Little things like that can make a huge impact.

Who, if anyone, helped you succeed? While I am the founder and president of The Make It Safe Project, I would not call it a solo project. Every person who has taken part–whether they have donated, posted the link on their Facebook page, or shared their stories on our website–is part of the team. We are all working towards equality for all.

Do you have any advice for readers who want to get involved or start a similar program? Go for it. You can make a difference. Also remember that education is the key to ending bullying. Doing work with schools is enormously important.  …This interview is from a  book that includes 15 other amazing people who are creating positive change. You can read the full book and buy a copy for you or your school at Bookemon.com

Empowering Discussions

Holiday Anger – A Gift That Keeps Giving.

Impower You

 Personal responsibility is a much better gift that keeps on giving. 

It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of the holidays and walk around with a lit fuse waiting to explode, but we don’t have to be that way.  I was inspired to write this after reading a great quote on the “Let Life In Practices” blog, ““Anybody can become angry-that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way- that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” -Aristotle”

We always have a choice on how we direct our anger. Sadly we most often choose to let anger rise so much that we lash out at others and this is wrong.  Lately I have seen more of this in the form of people waiting in lines, or rather rushing and pushing others out of their way so they could be first.  I also see it in the road rage, or stealing from people as they shop for gifts. What a wonderful time of year indeed. Like all emotions anger has a butterfly affect.  Unlike the Pay It Forward movement which creates a better world, the dominoes of anger cause pain and tragedy.

I get mad of course and sometimes I lash out in rude ways.  But these days, I do it so little that when it happens I feel embarrassed and personally responsible.  What has helped me is being aware of what, who, and when I am most easily angered. Here are a few of those times when I know that I will get angry over little unimportant things.

  • I feel tightness in my stomach.
  • I feel icky and therefore have less patience.
  • I am in a rush to somewhere so so very important.
  • I am tired or hungry.

Over the years I have taught myself different ways to calm down and decide whether or not I want to let my anger out or just let it go. I read lots of books, practiced lots of suggestions and finally found some that work. Here is what I do to counteract those warning signs mentioned above.

  • Take a few deep breaths.
  • Repeat an affirmation, usually this one: “My thoughts are peaceful, my words are peaceful, my actions are peaceful”.
  • Eat some food, but nothing sweet because sugar causes hyper sensitivity.
  • Take a break and close my eyes. If I have time I will take a nap or go to bed early.
  • Slow down and remind myself that either I am not in a hurry or it is better to be late than to cause an accident and make my day and possibly someone else’s worse.

Everyone is different and this won’t work in every situation, but I see anger flare up a lot around stress. I watch others and see how they react and pay attention to what set them off. I so often see myself in the other persons angry shoes that I can realize my own anger needs to go away. Two angry people are so much worse than one. Whatever you choose, practice it often as only then will YOU be able to deal with sudden stressful and angry situations.

Will you take the time to become aware of your own warning signs?

Will you choose when to let your anger out and when to let it go?

What can you do to dissolve or control your anger?

🙂

Empowering Discussions

Role Models: Lauren and Molly of the Kind Campaign

Impower You
The Kind Campaign, anti bully program
Finding Kind. A movement and documentary.

Despite what many people proclaim, being teased and bullied is not just the way life goes.  It is not just how girls or boys are at that age. Mean is taught. It is encouraged and it is wrong. We do not need to grow tough skin because someone has a bad attitude or a problem. The one thing people say that is true, is it gets better. This happens when someone makes a firm decision to encourage kindness.  That is exactly what Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson did. They made a decision to take action and end bullying. Their focus was girl on girl bullying and their tool is the Kind Campaign.

What was your inspiration or what necessitated you to begin this adventure? Lauren Parsekian: Kind Campaign began with the idea for the documentary, Finding Kind. Ever since Middle School, I had wanted to create something that would give girls an outlet to speak out about girl-against-girl “crime.” Throughout 7th and 8th grade I was tortured by a group of girls. That experience left me in a very dark, very lonely place at the age of 12 and 13. It was that struggle that put this issue on my heart and gave me my passion for it. At Pepperdine, both Molly and I were film majors. After I worked on a documentary, I realized that would be the perfect way to share this story with the world. Molly had a life changing experience with female bullying in High School and the two of us had worked on films together so it just felt like the most organic pairing to go in on this documentary together. It was through our experience in pre-production on Finding Kind that we were inspired to start our non-profit, Kind Campaign.

What steps did you take to create your program? Molly Thompson: We were seniors at Pepperdine University when we founded Kind Campaign. We were juggling classes and college social events with starting a non-profit and pre-production on a documentary film. Our minds were constantly spinning with new ideas for the film and the movement, so we did everything we could to keep up with our ideas. Besides the heaps of paperwork that are needed to create a non-profit organization, one of the first things we did was create our website. We were working with an amazing designer, Nick Mason, who helped us create the branding and feel of Kind Campaign. Having the website up and running was incredibly important so that people had a place to go and get more information from the very beginning.

What obstacles were you forced to overcome? Lauren Parsekian: There have been many twists and turns throughout the Kind Campaign journeys. Raising the money to make any of this possible is always an obstacle, but lucky for us, people deeply believe in our mission and have made it possible for us to make these ideas and dreams into reality. I think the biggest obstacle has just been to persevere when things get so overwhelming and tiring. The two of us manage and have created every aspect of the film, non-profit, business and movement. It can be very intense. When we tour with our assembly program, there are times where we are immersed in such crazy travel schedules– being on the road on and off from September-June. So just to remind ourselves of how hard we have worked and what this work has done for so many girls really keeps us going and moving forward.

What were the hardest problems to solve or actions to take? Molly Thompson: One of the hardest problems to solve was constantly figuring out different fundraising ideas and how to create a quality product on a budget.

What must you do to stay operational? Lauren Parsekian: Communicate. Molly and I communicate about everything so well and that is a huge reason why we have been able to maintain a friendship and working relationship. Of course there is always paperwork, emails, website maintenance and those sorts of things that keep KC moving.

Who, if anyone, helped you succeed? Molly Thompson: There have been so many people along the way that have helped us get to where we are today. From the people close to us who believed in us from the very beginning, to the generous support from donors, to the hundreds of thousands of girls and women who have shared their story and become a part of the movement.

Do you have any advice for readers who want to get involved or start a similar program? Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson: We love for people to get involved, that’s how we have grown into what we are today. A great way to get involved is to become a Kind Ambassador and work with your community to host a screening of Finding Kind. Other ways to get involved are by spreading the word, donating, and participating in the interactive features on the website. Also, if you are passionate about something and want to start your own organization – do it! We encourage you to go after your dreams and accomplish your goals. Get your friends together and do it with them – you really can change the world with your friends.

What else do you want to share? Lauren Parsekian and Molly Thompson: In February 2009, while attending Seaver College, the two of us joined forces having both been affected by female bullying throughout our youth and decided to create change by giving females a platform to speak out about this universal experience. What began as an idea for a documentary about girl-against-girl bullying, ultimately became Kind Campaign, an internationally recognized movement, documentary, and school assembly program based on the powerful belief in KINDness that brings awareness and healing to the negative and lasting effects of girl-against-girl “crime.”

Immediately upon graduating with our degrees in Film and Television Production, we drove across the country for two months to shoot our documentary and began to implement our school program into schools across the nation. The documentary, Finding Kind, was released in theaters in New York and Los Angeles, was accepted and awarded in over 20 film festivals, and has screened in thousands of schools across America and Canada. We have personally spoken in over 400 schools across North America and have completed four international anti-bullying school tours. We are excited to continue our work of the last four years by creating what we call the KIND KIT. Set to release in Spring 2013, the KIND KIT is an anti-bullying curriculum which will include the Finding Kind documentary, an assembly DVD, Kind Campaign materials, and a copy of our Kind Club curriculum.

More information is available on their website, Facebook page, Twitter and YouTube channel.

www.kindcampaign.com
www.findingkind.com
http://bit.ly/KindCampaignFacebook
http://twitter.com/kindcampaign
http://www.youtube.com/user/KindCampaign   …This interview is from a  book that includes 15 other amazing people who are creating positive change. You can read the full book and buy a copy for you or your school at Bookemon.com

Empowering Discussions

Gifts of Love Are Always Free

Impower You

Gifts of love and well wishes are always free and almost always appreciated. My wonderful friend Tiffany of Voice 4 Society is promoting a card drive for underprivileged children in New York. It’s FREE to join in. Simply visit their Facebook page, “Like” it and leave a holiday message. The team at V4S will write your message on a card and give the card to a child who needs a little extra loving this year.

Visit https://www.facebook.com/events/231942876935861/ and share a gift of cheerful love.  After you write a message share the page with your friends and encourage them to write a message.

If you ARE able to donate a gift, they are also hosting a toy drive. You can read more about it on her blog http://voice4society.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/christmas-outreach/

Thank you for reading. Remember that you have the power to make a positive difference in the lives of others. Don’t wait for holidays. Get involved in your community or start your own initiative.  It is up to you!

Empowering Discussions

Role Model: Maria Mejia HIV and AIDS Activist.

Impower You

As of 2009, around the world, SIXTY MILLION people were infected with HIV/AIDS and a percentage of these people are children. One million people in the US alone are infected with HIV. Sadly, 1 in 5 don’t know they are. We desperately need more education on preventing infection and the truth about who can catch HIV/AIDS.  There is still discrimination against those who are infected and there is still a stigma attached with this being a disease only of drug addicts, prostitutes, and homosexuals.  Thankfully there are people destroying that stigma through outreach, counseling, and education.  One of those amazing people is Maria Mejia. Below is her story about how she became an activist for HIV/AIDS.

AIDS/HIV Advocate, Maria Mejia

It was one week after my 18th BDAY when I found out I was HIV positive…I was very young. Back in those days, this was a death sentence. It was around the same time Magic Johnson came out saying he was positive. I was studying in a program in Kentucky named Job corp and they did HIV testings to all the students that came in new. I remember before all of us kids were getting tested I was answering all the questions correct about HIV (how ironic)..to me, this was a disease for prostitutes, drug users or homosexuals so I never thought I would ever be positive. A month passed and I kept on getting slips from the clinic telling me to come in. As I started getting homesick, I went to the clinic, and boom, there I remember an Asian doctor looking at me with eyes of horror…asking me, why didn’t you come sooner? I answered like any teen would ..I don’t know..well he sat me down and he didn’t even prepare me! He just said you have AIDS. I went into shock..I didn’t say a word..I saw my whole life pass in front of me! I thought I am going to DIE…it’s over and I will never marry or have kids. I received the news alone. All my immediate family was in Miami.

I got it from my first boyfriend, I was just 16 years old. I was so lost. They told me there was another kid that had it and I could continue to stay there, but all I wanted was to go and die at home. I called my mom and she was always my strength. I told her “Mom, I have AIDS”, she paused and told me, “Don’t worry you will not die from this.” Two days later I was home and just waiting for death. Back then, people were dropping like flies and AZT was the only thing available. I went to a social worker they referred me to and a doctor that gave me a paper saying ‘if you take AZT, it may damage your internal organs’. I said NO WAY I’m taking that, and I believe I did the right thing not taking those high dosages of AZT back then.

I didn’t take any anti retrovirals for almost 10 years and kept myself healthy–or as healthy as I could be–with natural medicine. I do take my medication now. It has been almost 24 years. I have learned a lot in this process and also helped many along the way infected and affected. First of all, I never died as I thought…I learned to love myself more and to take care of myself more. I have taken away the stigma of being HIV+ and taught many people. I also became an activist and HIV peer educator. I learned, in this process, that I am still living to have hope, how being positive made me a more positive person! I am also an International Social media activist …I blog for Thebody.com ,The well project ( a girl like me ) and Until There’s A Cure. I am also with the Gilead’s advocate network and I am the founder of 2 international support groups in Facebook for the infected and affected from all over the world in English and Spanish. I am also a motivation speaker ( in all types of events for the LGBT community,international conferences in panels with people like Dr.Kevin Fenton from the CDC, have been a part of many HIV campaigns here in the USA and also modeled for HIV medication ) I am with the speakers bureau for Miami- Dade schools and also Universities ,jails ,churches,high risk groups etc. I also have many vlogs in youtube in English and Spanish,Twitter and a huge activism page on Facebook. I have been a part of many documentaries that ASO’s use as learning tools for their patients also many doctors use them (the latest one with Merck and Latino commission on AIDS in both languages). I am also a small business owner with my partner Lisa.

Although I say I am HIV positive..the way I feel is that I am a human being who happens to have the condition of being HIV positive. I have learned to be stronger, and in all of this journey where I am the most fulfilled is helping everyone, especially young people, because I also became infected at such a young age So I have gone to schools to teach them and tell them look at me..not to toot my own horn but I am an attractive female (I use my looks to attract)..and they look at me and think.

I am also a trained Pre- and Post- counselor by the CDC.. testing people, as well as an HIV educator for Jackson Memorial Hospital for many many years, a volunteer for the red cross and just very involved. I wish I would of had someone like me when I was told I was infected! As I do with them when I told them ‘you are HIV positive’…but wait..I hold them and say ‘look at me I am too…you are not alone and if you do what you are supposed to do you will live a long life.’ Just look at me as your example and that calms them down. That makes me happy…to give is one of the most wonderful things a human being can do.

I just have so much to tell and my story is very complex. I have been through so much and learned so much in these almost 24 years and I am still going through different phases in my life…with life’s ups and downs. I can truly say that being positive saved my life and brought many learning experiences…Although almost all my life I have been in long term relationships with HIV negative men, I am happily married to a woman that is wonderful and caring. We have been together 5 years. She is HIV negative and a wonderful human being that I love. I have no children but we will look into having (maybe) I do have a little dog Flea 🙂:) I am an activist, a peer educator, a caregiver, a wife ,a friend ,a sister a daughter. I was a little caterpillar that turned into a butterfly ♥♥

I am a hard worker, passionate, loving, honest, daring, caring, and a warrior.  I am NOT A VICTIM! I AM A SURVIVOR!. I am a hustler in a good way now 🙂:)

Being HIV positive is nothing to be ashamed about! We are strong , and we will take away all the stigmas slowly but we have to open up. COME OUT OF THE HIV CLOSET! for those that are not ready. I and other activists will continue to represent you.♥

I remember my poor, strong mother when I told her. She told me you will not die from this, but you will tell the family you have another disease…I was a kid and she was ignorant to the subject..but without her love and support I would of never made it. Being HIV+ is not a punishment, it is just a condition that we have to live with! And it’s not a disease of homosexuals, drug addicts, or prostitutes. I have seen everyone from infants to 80 year old ladies with this condition! We have to empower ourselves and give ourselves self worth and teach people not to pity us..and believe me..at the end of the day they end up admiring us..because as I say we are soldiers. We were struck with something delicate and serious. I am not going to sit here and minimize the seriousness of the illness…it is not easy. That is also what I teach people that think ‘oh, I will just not protect myself because I just take some pills and I am fine!’ just cause they see I look good and look healthy. They don’t know the side effects and things we have to endure mentally with this illness! So with all this being said…let’s continue this battle because one day we will look back and say YES, WE MADE IT. Remember for those who are negative HIV/AIDS is not death sentence anymore,but it is a life sentence! From the darkest places ..comes the brightest lights ♥♥ we are someone! we are worthy!

please!!! LOVE YOURSELF,TEST YOURSELF, PROTECT YOURSELF

FINALLY MY DREAM OF WRITING A BILINGUAL BOOK IS GOING TO HAPPEN! THIS HAS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE AND I HOPE IT REACHES THE WHOLE WORLD ♥♥

JUST DREAM!! AND WORK HARD! AND PRAY..ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE ♥♥

another huge even that happened for me ..including so many panels I have been a part of this year and so many wonderful emails that I get from all over the world that people are changing their views about us! getting tested,getting inspired to come out of their HIV closet! and also giving hope to the hopeless!

last but not least..I am thankful that University used my story to do a play (what an honor) and who knows where that will go ♥♥

and that beautiful award I got from ADAP association for social media activist 2011/2012 in Washington for my fight for the people that have no HIV meds and are in these ADAP waiting lists! 😦:(

I am a proud ambassador of Dab the AIDS bear and also an Ambassador for The Stigma Project! I believe in them 🙂

If you are an activist take advantage of social media! TV, Radio , Magazines, etc. etc.!! Spread the word! Do not go in it for the money! NO MONEY HERE!! it is a passion!!

After living with AIDS for 24 years, Maria will turn 40 in April 2013. She continues to actively make a positive difference.  …This interview is from a  book that includes 15 other amazing people who are creating positive change. You can read the full book and buy a copy for you or your school at Bookemon.com

Social Action

Role Models: Emily May of Hollaback

Impower You

 Welcome! Today is the start of my series interviewing a new generation of role models. I will be profiling people from all over the world. They will share their stories  about the amazing actions they are taking to create positive change or break barriers of prejudice to succeed. I am so excited to share these amazing role models. You will learn about what it takes to break barriers of prejudice and create positive change in your own community. Every week new interviews will be posted and eventually all the interviews will become a book.  The book will be free to read on Bookemon.com, freely available as a PDF, and for sale as a soft cover that can be given to someone who needs a little inspiration. Let’s Begin~

Emily May is the Executive director of Hollaback and if you are a woman you should definitely know who she is. Emily and her friends(both women and men) started Hollback to create a worldwide community support system so people can stop the street harassment of women and girls. She is a role model because she is taking what seems like a problem that can’t be fixed and is fixing it.  For someone like me who walks and takes public transportation just about every day, harassment is an annoying, unwanted part of my life. Men  and even boys will creep up close to me with some disgusting comment, drive up and proposition me,  or yell “hey baby” at me from across the street. At first the harassment made me nervous so I just pretended to ignore it, but after a while it pissed me off. So now I stand my ground.  I don’t smile or say please. I just tell them to leave me alone.  It may not work every time, but I feel good speaking up for myself. It also feels great knowing that there are thousands of people out there who will stand up with me. Hollaback encourages women to take a photo or video of the harasser(s) and post it online. It’s also really funny watching the videos of these men who in one moment have no problem being loud pushy jerks suddenly get all shades of shy.

What was your inspiration or what necessitated you to begin this adventure?
I started the journey to end street harassment when I was 24 years old. My friends and I — four woman and three men — were sitting on a roof deck in Brooklyn, when the women started talking about the crap men said to us on the street.  My friend Samuel Carter – who grew up in the same town as me and went to the same college with me, said quite bluntly, “Emily, you live in a different NYC than I do.”  And we resolved to change that. It was 2005 and we’d recently heard the story of Thao Nyugen, a young woman who was riding the NYC subway when an older man sat down across from her and began to masturbate.  She pulled out her newfangled cell phone camera — because remember, this was 2005 — and took his picture so that she would have evidence to give to the police. But when Thao showed the photo to the police, they dismissed her and her story. They didn’t take the photo as evidence, and they didn’t file a report. What Thao did next was a game-changer.  She put that photo up on flickr, where her story quickly went viral. It made it to the front cover of the NY Daily News and ignited a citywide conversation about public masturbation.  It felt like everyone either had a story or they knew someone who did. My boss at the time had seen that exact guy masturbating on the subway. We inspired by Thao’s story. So we logically did what any other twenty-something would do in 2005: we decided to start a blog.  We named it Hollaback, and we documented stories and photos of street harassment in New York City.
What steps did you take to create your program?  Our little bog struck a nerve. Almost immediately after launching we were overwhelmed with requests from activists wanting to bring Hollaback to their town.  So, in 2010, I applied to 8 foundations and 2 fellowships. I was rejected from all of them. And so, with no promise of an income, I took the leap, left my job, and built wings on the way down. Today, I am proud to announce we have scaled our work to over 60 cities in 20 countries and in 12 different languages —- and now we’re expanding to address sexual harassment on college campuses too.
What obstacles were you forced to overcome?For the first six months, I shot up out of bed at 6 a.m. and worked straight until midnight. To save money, I ate mostly dried beans. I gained ten pounds. I barely saw my friends – or the light of day. At my worst moments, it was an obsession. At my best, it was a calling.

All I knew was that I had to make this happen. And I did. In those first six months, we launched iPhone and Droids apps to give people a real-time response to street harassment, and a new website to house local sites; and began working with the New York City Council on ways to address street harassment.

What must you do to stay operational? We’re in over 60 cities, but we only have two full time staff. To keep this movement moving, we need to build additional capacity. Support us by donating or becoming a member: https://npo1.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=1006067
Who, if anyone, helped you succeed? So, so, many people.  My mother, who raised me with courage and confidence. My small but mighty staff, who make this organization what it is. Our site leaders, who keep this movement moving internationally. Our donors, without which we wouldn’t be here today. Our volunteers, who give over a half million a year in in-kind services.  Our board, who goes above and beyond to keep us on track. The list could go on forever.
Do you have any advice for readers who want to get involved or start a similar program? If you want to start a Hollaback site, check out our website for details! It’s a free, three month on-line training a planning process — but the result is world-changing.
And if you’re looking at starting your own venture, my best advice is surround yourself with people who believe in what you’re trying to do.  This includes volunteers, a board, and friends for sure — but it also includes a supportive partner.  It’s a hard road, and there will be times when you’ll need to come home and cuddle it out.  Having a supportive partner in my life has made all the difference.   …This interview is from a  book that includes 15 other amazing people who are creating positive change. You can read the full book and buy a copy for you or your school at Bookemon.com
Writing

Inspiration From Bad Role Models

Impower You

One again I have been inspired by bad role models. There are so many terribly rude, ignorant, nasty, crass, immoral, greedy people who our culture celebrates for profit.  I don’t want my nieces and nephews and my own future children to grow up idealizing reality tv stars, greedy politicians, unsustainable industry greed-mongers, and millionaire trust fund kids. I don’t want them thinking success is all about looking airbrushed, skinny, and being able to sing or act. Yes entertainment is a wonderful part of life that we need and many entertainers are wonderful role models that use their fame for good. I love that part of celebrity culture,  but I still want future generations to grow up with a wide variety or good role models. They should have this insatiable appetite to cure AIDS or cancer, save the planet, invent clean energy, alleviate poverty, end violence in their communities,  or teach respect and tolerance.  Their idea of success should not be to make the most money, but to make the most positive change. So I am collecting interviews with people who are doing this and I am asking for your help to share your story OR spread the word.

The goal of this book is to share new role models that are not actors or athletes. It will feature everyday smart working role models that are breaking into new industries, such as women in science, and both women and men who are creating positive social change. It will be fairly simple and straightforward with an optimistic tilt that we are all capable of following our dreams. My goal is to have 100 role models featured in the book. It will be free to read on Bookemon.com(just like my other books are) and each interview will be posted on ImpowerYou.org.

If you have any suggestions of others that might be interested in sharing their story I am looking for women and men who are working on the following issues:
Environmental sustainability and clean up
Violence prevention
Poverty alleviation
Peace(ending war, nuclear disarmament)
Health(sex education, HIV/AIDS, nutrition, body image)
LGBTQ equality
Racial equality
Women’s equality
Domestic Violence/ Sexual Assault
Programs that encourage boys and men to treat women respectfully.

I also want to interview women who are successful in the following fields: STEM(Science, Technology, Engineering, Math), journalism, media and arts, politics, entrepreneurs, and inventors.

Use the Contact Us page if you would like to be interviewed for this book or to send an email for someone who should be interviewed.

Empowering Discussions

Why?

Impower You

Having trouble? Tired of the same problems? It’s time to find the root and ask your inner self  some questions. Why?, What?, How?, and Really? Are you sure?  This is one thing I try to explain to people and often get that “you’re crazy” look in return.  So much of what makes our lives hard is internal idiocy and this blog post about finding the root of problems is right on. http://idolanuel.com Below is part of the writers post. I encourage you to follow the Read more button at the end and check out the whole post. There are also some really great comments on that page.

“Dialogue:
Q: Why am I so bothered by the fact that I have a bad hair day?
A: Because that means I’m ugly!
Q: No, we’ve already been there. No external factor is responsible for my suffering (*). (Asking WHY again) So, WHY does the fact that I’m ugly botheres me?
A: Because everyone will laugh at me.
Q: No, ‘everyone’ is an external factor again (*). ‘will laugh’ happens in the future (**). (Asking WHY again) WHY does the thought that everyone will laugh at me bothers me now?
A: Because, I’m afraid (YES YES YES) that I won’t have any friends! (The fear is internal and it is now – this is the answer)
Q: YES! (Now let’s go deeper) – but WHY does that fear bothers me?
A: Because, I’m afraid (good) that if I won’t have any friends, I will be alone.
Q: So? WHY does being alone bothers me? (deeper)
A: Because, I’m afraid (exactly) that if I’ll be alone, I won’t be happy.
Q: So, WHY does not being happy bothering me?
A: Because, I’m afraid (applause) that if I won’t be happy, I will die.”  READ MORE…

….Keep asking WHY?….

Empowering Discussions

Talk About Respect – Teaching Dating Violence Prevention

Impower You

It is not enough to just say that dating violence is wrong.  We need to have discussions with girls and boys about why it is, how it can be stopped,  and what to do if someone they know is in an abusive relationship.

Find the time to sit down or take a walk and share what you know. Yes it will probably be awkward and maybe you will feel stupid or like they aren’t listening to you. So what?  Isn’t it worth feeling awkward if it means keeping them safe?  YES!  Remember that YOU are their main relationship role model. So if you talk about why they should not put up with dating violence, then they are more likely to stay out of abusive relationships. Maybe they will only half listen, roll their eyes or say they already learned this in school. They need to hear it from you anyway! You are a huge influence on your children. After all they are children and you are an adult, so act like one and have this conversation.  Below are some pointers to keep it simple.

  • Tell your daughters and sons that you will always love them and they deserve to be treated well in all their relationships.
  •  Tell them that it is never never NEVER okay to hit someone you love.
  • Tell them that if their partner hits them, it is not their fault. It is their partners fault. If that happens it is their partner who is wrong and needs help. 
  • Tell them that they cannot cure their partner. Their partner needs to be willing to change.
  • Give them the number to the national domestic violence hotline. 1-800-799-7233 and 1-800-787-3224

ASK QUESTIONS. What do they think love means? Does it seem like abuse happens a lot? Do they feel like violence is a part of dating? How do they feel when someone such as a friend or family member treats them badly?  If they wouldn’t put up with abuse from a friend why would it be okay from a romantic partner?

Talk about relationships in the media of people your child admires. What about them seems okay and what is not okay to your teen? Does that role model treat others badly or with respect?  Do they date abusive partners?

LISTEN to their answers. Allow them time to answer and don’t be judgmental.  Try to stay away from questions with yes and no answers so you can really hear their opinions and not just echos of your own.

Talk about the WARNING SIGNS so they can be aware if their friends are in abusive relationships. Usually in abusive relationships people lose interest in any activity that isn’t approved of by their partner, their grades suffer or they drop favorite activities.  They have emotional outbursts, have bruises, act scared,  are worried about upsetting their partner, make excuses for their partners angry or cruel behavior, and isolate themselves from anyone but their partner. Keep in mind that abuse can be from boys OR girls.  LGBTQ abuse happens, so don’t think your child is safe because of their partners gender.

Tell them that no matter what they should not stay in abusive relationship and you will always be there for them if any of their partners become abusive.  Assure them that you will always take their side even if you really love their partner. For more information review our Emotional Self Defense Curriculum.

Dating violence poster

I Am More Than Just a Girl Book

Second More Than a Girl Sweepstakes

Impower You

What does it mean to be empowered?   How does it feel to be empowered?

Answer one (or both) of these questions to win a copy of the book “I Am More Than Just a Girl”. Every two weeks a winner will be randomly chosen to receive a signed book.  The next winner will be chosen on November 10th.  The sweepstakes gives girls and young women a voice and an opportunity to learn and share diverse ideas about empowerment. It is free to enter and open to all US residents ages 13 and older.

Enter at MoreThanAGirl.webs.com

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