Self Defense

Not A Screamer

   I spent years being depressed and unhappy because I thought I could not make a difference. From the ages of fifteen to thirty I soaked my brain in so much injustice, horror, pain, and drama that I wished I could die already because I thought life was hopeless. Over the past few years I have slowly pulled away from that negativity. Thankfully after pulling away from that, I had the idea for my book, I Am More Than Just a Girl. Publishing it, creating my curriculum around it, and connecting with new people that are in prevention has been a catalyst to learn that I can fight back in my own way. I even have hope for better. Prevention is where I belong. I no longer am in the mindset of  “If everyone was like me the world would be fine.” What’s worse than a right wing/conservative soul saver? A liberal/soul saving hippie.
  These days my focus is more on sharing my knowledge and my opinions with others and letting them take it as they want. Years of working with victims has shown me that people don’t always want to change or try anything different. Many people love to be angry, start drama, have pity parties, and be victims. At this point it makes me laugh. Not to say that I don’t have compassion or that I won’t keep fighting for equality and peace, but my strength is sharing a different point of view.  I am appreciative of those who are more than happy to do the yelling.  Once in a while I scream, but the mechanics of my brain and my emotions work best in a more calm “talk it out” manner.
   One of my mothers favorite quotes is always running through my head; “We are god’s comic strip”.  She is not religious, but it’s something she has said since I was a kid and it seems to be true most days. Unless I think about places like the Congo with it’s ongoing war, rape, and children forced into fighting or nearby where violent whack jobs kill abortion doctors, then it’s more like “We are god’s grade B horror movie”. How we look at the world varies based on our experiences and what we feed our thoughts. How we deal also varies. So my suggestion is to find your personal style of fighting.

2 thoughts on “Not A Screamer”

  1. You’re right; it’s hard to always be fighting ‘against’ something. That’s why I think you have to really pick your battles in order not to get overwhelmed. I also agree that prevention is HUGELY important. It gets the short end of the stick a lot because by its very nature it cannot have the dramatic effect as actively helping someone out of a bad situation. But it’s oh so very vital. To me, it’s the key.


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