Grief: Three Months In and the Adventure Has Picked Up Speed

I attended my first grief support group today. As the group leader Rick said, “It’s like a club nobody wants to join”. Ha!  Isn’t that a truth!

IMG_20140522_174117The book, “Unattended Sorrow” by Stephen Levine was recommended by Rick. Luckily the library had it and I’m taking it with me. This was my first grief/bereavement group since my mother died 3 months ago.

It wasn’t agonizingly sad nor was it upbeat, but it was somewhat comforting to not feel so alone that hour of time. I mostly listened. I shared what I could, but these days words tumble out of my mouth in a messy ball. A few times, even though I don’t feel so sad anymore, tears rolled down my cheeks. Vocalizing coherently right now is not easy so listening and being part of a group was enough.

There was 3 of us in total. They had both lost parents and a husband/wife. She had lost her husband 3 weeks ago, he was leading the group for a few years having los his wife 9 years ago. Both were over 65. Though I don’t wish death on anyone my age, I was hoping there might be someone close to my age there.
Nobody who showed up is going to the memorial service on Saturday. I imagine that will be an entirely different and sadder experience as there is no mention of an age minimum to donate a body to the med program. All I ask is there not be any parents who lost a child or teen. I think that’s the worst. My mom had almost 71 years and she wore them out well. 🙂

So what did I learn today? Mostly that grief may have lightened or seem gone, but it sure as hell has not completely healed.  So if you know someone who has recently grieved give them some love now. Don’t wait another minute.

I feel a little raw now. What I wouldn’t give for a long firm hug.  Maybe I will get lucky and run into a friend? That would be something indeed since none live nearby. What I wouldn’t give for a car right now so I could drive somewhere and hug someone I know….sigh…life is greater than any adventure I ever read

2 comments

  1. Leah, what you said here is so true. Grief comes in waves, unexpected and sometimes so fierce it knocks you off your feet. When that happens, check to make sure nothing is broken and get right back up again. The checking for brokenness is important as it may take longer to heal than you think. Give yourself permission to work at your own pace. No one can tell you how you should feel or for how long you should feel it. HUGS

    1. Thanks. HUGS right back. 🙂

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