Category: Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

Fierce Fridays: Sexual Assault

Impower You

feminist books, books about feminism, books for girls, books for teens, books for women

Welcome to week six of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for any age female who needs a reminder of how fierce they can be. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. Share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or a a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com. Enjoy!

Sexual Assault

Are you tired of being called a victim just because you are a woman? Women and men(and boys and girls) who are assaulted are not to blame. It doesn’t matter what we wear or say or do. When rape occurs there is often an undertone of how that person should have known someone had intent to hurt them or that it isn’t safe to go anywhere alone. Does that mean we should accept a belief that all people are dangerous in the wrong circumstances? What exactly are the wrong circumstances? If assault happens at home, school, work or at a party are we really supposed to believe those are wrong circumstances? Yes you can use prevention to lower your risk (more on that later). However since rape is a violent crime committed by another person, it is completely and only the perpetrators fault.

For a long time women have been told to keep quiet about sexual assault and that has only caused it to grow. History shows us that when we ignore violent problems they escalate because if nobody stands up for themselves or another, they are giving the offender a chance to hurt more people. Millions of girls and women and boys and men have been sexually assaulted. It is a crime that hurts all genders, though it is mostly females that are sexually assaulted. This is because many cultures enforce a gender biased belief that girls are sexual objects, and inferior to or only alive to obey and serve a man.

You can fight sexual assault by starting conversations about why we must put an end to it. Ask your male friends and family members about sexual assault, harassment and rape. Since rapists are mostly men, it is important that men take the steps to end rape. We cannot continue to ignore when a person is molested, raped or assaulted. Rape is bad. Sex is good. It is an undeniably important part of life and not something bad. Sex is an act you should enjoy when and only WHEN YOU ARE READY. Sex should never be an act that hurts.

Words can cause as much harm as violence. There is a disgusting trend of calling a girl a slut, a whore or easy when she has sex. This is a terrible act of verbal abuse. When you use these words you are perpetuating a gender bias that punishes girls while rewarding boys. We have a completely opposite view of boys and sex. Boys are called a stud or manly and considered to be cool when they have sex. This double standard is one reason girls are wary of admitting to sexual assault. In the case of sexual assault, girls are often blamed for being a tease or dressing in revealing clothing. Girls are told that they “were asking” to be assaulted or raped because of how they acted or dressed. This is just not true! It’s called victim-blame and it is wrong!

The only person to blame in a case of sexual assault is the attacker. Sexual assault happens because the predator is violent. Women are assaulted and raped wearing head to toe coverings like burqas or sweats that are not considered sexy, so this belief that how a woman dresses causes rape is illogical. It also doesn’t matter if you flirt, have had sex before or even say you want to and then change your mind. If you say no or stop, and your partner forces you to have sex, that person is a rapist.

It’s very plain and simple, NO MEANS NO! You have a right to fight back!

You have a right to protect yourself from sexual predators and you have the right to be protected if you report an assault. There are trained emergency responders who can assist you in reporting a crime. After an assault there are steps you can take to help police identify and arrest your attacker. While it may seem scary to admit to being assaulted or raped, your report can help police prove someone is dangerous and keep them from hurting someone else. Even if you decide not to press charges, reporting a rape can help police find serial rapists and keep them off the streets. If you are assaulted there are actions you can take to get help. Counseling and the tools to continue living as a survivor are available.

If you are assaulted, do not take a shower. Stay in the clothes you wore during the attack. If you are raped you need to have a physical exam. You need to be tested for STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). A nurse or doctor will collect any DNA such as hair or blood samples off your body and clothes for what is called a rape kit. This will be used if you decide to press charges.

Do not waste your time in a relationship with someone who disrespects you. Whether you date a boy or a girl, your partner should treat you with respect. You should feel safe and loved when you are in a romantic relationship. If your partner pressures you into activities or puts you in situations that make you uncomfortable tell them. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship. Other people cannot read your mind, so it is important to speak up about sex in a relationship. If your partner refuses to change, leave them. Their behavior will only become worse. You are too important to date someone who does not truly care about you.

Your feelings are equally important. Your partner should never make you feel inferior or control you. Whether your relationship is romantic or platonic, you have the right to say NO! You deserve to be loved.

It is always your choice to say yes or no to sex, drugs, smoking, drinking, shoplifting, teasing or hurting others and any activity that causes you to be scared or uncomfortable. YOU HAVE THE POWER to surround yourself with people who treat you well. Free counseling and supportive services are available to survivors and victims of sexual assault.

Call the Sexual Assault National Hotline at 1-800-656-4673

You have a right to change your mind and can say NO even if you said YES last time.

You have a right to change your mind in the heat of the moment.

You have a right to wear what you want and not be harassed or assaulted.

You have a right to drink alcohol or use drugs and not be raped.

You are capable of deciding for yourself about when is a good time to have sex and when is not.

You are capable of not bowing down to pressure to have sex or perform sexual acts.

You are capable of telling someone their actions or words are not appropriate.

You deserve to be treated with respect… Continue reading at Bookemon.com.

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

Fierce Fridays: Reproductive Rights

Impower You

Welcome to week five of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. It is also for women of any age who needs a reminder of how fierce she can be.  My hope is that you will share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or a a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com. Enjoy!

“I do not wish them(women) to have power over men, but over themselves.” -Mary Wollstonecraft

Reproductive Rights

   The right to decide to have children or not is a human right. For women it determines our health, our opportunity for education, and income. If we cannot choose to use birth control or have an abortion than we are not in control of our bodies. Pressure to give birth to and raise children comes from religion, conservative politicians, culture, and old school tradition. Laws that don’t allow insurance coverage of contraception and pharmacists that deny selling contraception or morning after pills can also be a barrier for birth control.

Reproductive rights affect men. When a woman gets pregnant she will most often rely on her partner to help care for the child.  This means that men have to change their lifestyles, may leave or not attend school so they can work, and even raise his child alone or in shared custody.

In the issue of health we may not survive child birth or be able to bring a baby to full term. If a woman dies during childbirth and the baby survives than the father is expected to take care of her or him. If women are refused the option to terminate a pregnancy for health reasons then we are not considered equal to men. We are in fact second class citizens who are seen as disposable and unable to care for our own bodies.

It is harder to get an education when we are pregnant. Childcare is time consuming, financially and physically draining, we face discrimination, and our access to school is limited. When we have a choice to wait or not have children at all we give ourselves more time to attain a college degree and then afford the cost of childcare if we choose motherhood.

Not everyone can rely on their partner or parents to assist with raising a baby. These are question for men and women because either parent can change their mind after realizing what it really takes to be a parent.

Childcare is very expensive so pregnancy affects our opportunities to rise above or keep from falling into poverty. In 2011 the USDA reported that middle class parents of “a child born in 2011 can expect to spend about $234,900 to raise that child over the next 17 years.” *(4) Even in a good economy that is a lot of money. Most families would have to go into debt to spend that much. With the rise of single parent homes and shared custody agreements that would be impossible.

Currently women in most countries have access to abortions because of the law. Should reproductive rights be controlled by the government or is that reaching too far into your personal life? Is it fair that a man who cannot become pregnant is in a position of power vote on women’s reproduction? In a 2011 report by Save the Children, countries were studied to see who had the best and worst maternity care. “A typical Norwegian woman has 18 years of formal education and will live to be 83 years old; 82 percent are using some modern method of contraception, and only 1 in 175 will lose a child before his or her fifth birthday. At the opposite end of the spectrum, in Afghanistan, a typical woman has fewer than five years of education and will not live to be 45. Less than 16 percent of women are using modern contraception and 1 child in 5 dies before reaching age 5. At this rate, every mother in Afghanistan is likely to suffer the loss of a child.”

In early 2012 Sandra Fluke a Georgetown law student made the news twice. The first time was because she had attempted to speak at a congressional hearing on women’s reproductive rights, but was not allowed. She wanted to speak about the lack of birth control available for women in college. The hearing didn’t include any women at all. This was outrageous and she made a point of letting women know how our rights were being discussed behind closed doors with no women allowed.

The second time was immediately after her first story went viral. People were outraged to hear a famous radio host   Rush Limbaugh, who is bigoted and only famous for spreading hate, call Sandra a “SLUT” after she spoke out about her attempt to testify in congress.*(5) Thousands of people spoke up and signed petitions asking for a boycott of Limbaugh’s radio show with the result of 12 sponsors pulling their advertisements. While the attack was simply another attempt to take power away from women, it created discussions and brought to light the reality of how women are treated and how underrepresented we are in government office.

If this pisses you off, you can get involved in the fight for women to have reproductive rights by volunteering with an organization like Planned Parenthood. This global non-partisan, non-profit organization is an advocate for millions of women, men, teenagers, and families by providing healthcare that includes sexual and reproductive healthcare, and sexual education. You can be a changemaker at PlannedParenthood.org.

You can find a variety of statistics online and in books to find out the affects of reproductive laws. They all boil down to the fact that when we restrict a woman’s right to choose contraception or abortion, and do not educate women about reproduction, than we increase the chances of unwanted pregnancies and dangerous health conditions for women and babies. Making abortion something we need to have government permission for shows that women are not seen as equal.

  • Is your sexual partner willing to care for a baby?
  • Are you prepared to be the sole provider for childcare?
  • How many people do you know are raising a child alone?
  • Why do you think someone else should control your choice of pregnancy, abortion, or birth control?… Continue reading at Bookemon.com
Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

Fierce Fridays – Gender Bias

Impower You

Welcome to week four of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. It is also for women of any age who needs a reminder of how fierce she can be.  My hope is that you will share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or a a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com. Enjoy!

“Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” – Chris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

Gender Bias 

   Starting at a young age we are assigned roles for our genders. Girls are dressed in lots of pink and white because it is “pretty and innocent”. We are then given dolls and kitchen sets so we can learn old school feminine roles. Boys are dressed in lots of blues and red because those are “tough, manly” colors. They are then given trucks and building blocks so they can learn old school masculine roles.  Slowly, but thankfully some parents have clued into the idea that stereotypical roles at a young age does effect how we grow and limit ourselves in relation to the world.

Gender bias is not just directed towards females. It goes both ways. The downside to only doing what “fits your gender” is missing out on so many experiences. Girls may never learn how to stand up for themselves against domestic abuse or change a flat tire when stuck on the side of the road and boys may never know how to care for their own children or sew up a hole in their favorite jeans. We don’t have time to learn everything in life, but it is important to not be stuck in a limiting role.  We should not feel like certain activities or goals are specific to only one gender.

  • Is it fair that girls are usually expected to do household chores like clean the dishes or vacuum?
  • Is it fair that boys are told they need to play sports to be manly and tough?
  • How do you feel when someone describes something or an action as “girly” or “manly”?
  • What other characteristics could you use to describe someone without gender indications?
  • What types of careers do the women you know have?
  • What types of careers do the men you know have?
  • Do you see patterns of gender limitations in the careers they chose?

As we get older, gender roles become even more enforced. Clothing and products are marketed to girls so they can look pretty and sexy. Boys are marketed clothing and products so they can look rough, tough, and handsome.

  • How do you feel about toys and clothes that are limited to princess or flower themes?
  • What types of clothing do you like to wear?
  • Do you dress to look older or prettier?
  • Is it important for you to look sexy?
  • Does it seem like you are being forced to look a certain way so that you are “girly” enough?

We have yet to become a truly equal society. Women still get paid less than men in some careers, our reproductive rights constantly face attacks, and we are still objectified and abused around the world.  There is an old belief that men are the primary income providers of families so they should be paid more than women. Of course this is not often true. Many families that have two parents rely on both incomes to get by and there are no shortage of single mothers who are a family’s sole income provider.

It is important that women are paid as much as men when they perform the same job. How do you feel to know that a man can be paid more than you for the same job? In 1963 the Equal Pay Act (EPA) became law and legally abolished the practice of paying men more than women for the same type of job, though it is not necessarily enforced. In 2009, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act (LLFPRA) was signed into law.  While the EPA is supposed to ensure that women and men are paid the same, it does not state that women can seek lost wages if she finds out that she is getting paid less than a man for the same job.

This act started because one woman, Lilly Ledbetter found out that while working at the tire company, Goodyear, she had been paid thousands of dollars less than men who worked the same jobs. She sued the company for sex discrimination and won. But Goodyear appealed, the case went to the Supreme Court and after 8 years of appeals it was ruled that she could not seek restoration. This happened because before the Lily Ledbetter act, a person only had 180 days to file an employment complaint, but she didn’t know about the wage gap until years later. She fought back and eventually succeeded at creating a new law that gives women the right to seek restoration pay. *(3)

You don’t have to spend several years of your life fighting like Lily did. You can be active in politics and make sure that everyone has equal protection through our government.  Go online to USA.Gov/Contact/Elected and contact your elected officials. To find local elected officials go to StateLocalGov.Net. You can speak up by calling or sending an email to express your concern about laws and issues that are most important to you. If you don’t vote and express yourself to the people who are in charge of your city, state and country than someone else with a different opinion will. It is up to you…. Continue reading at Bookemon.com.

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

FIERCE Fridays: Critical Thinking and Problem Solving

Impower You

Welcome to week three of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. Those who want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. It is also for women of any age who needs a reminder of how fierce she can be.  My hope is that you will share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or a a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com. Enjoy!

I don’t think anybody anywhere can talk about the future of their people or of an organization without talking about education. Whoever controls the education of our children controls our future. -Wilma Mankiller

Critical Thinking

  Critical thinking is using rational, clear minded thought along with unbiased evidence. You can teach yourself this by asking questions. That is one action we can always take to create our own opinions and to find solutions. Everyone has an opinion and many people want others to think just like them. Those who are in power are very often willing to spin facts into half truths or tell flat out lies so they can keep their authority and power.

We do not have to automatically believe what we are told or shown. We are each capable of questioning, researching, and evaluating what we learn. The world we inhabit is not stuck in place, right and wrong, or black and white. New information is brought to our attention on a constant basis. We are always evolving. Change is an important, valuable, and inevitable gift of life. Critical thinking is a must for our society to progress.  Question, Research, Evaluate and Decide for yourself.

Question: Why is it important? Who told you? Where did you get your information?  What is your evidence?

Research:  Look up your questions at the library, online, and ask experts. Who says this is true? Who paid for this study? What do they have to gain? It is biased? Why is it important to know this? In a world where people will tell lies to make a profit, always ask the question “Where did you get your information?”

Evaluate: Compare disagreeing sources. Does it all fit together? Are there holes in the argument? Is this an issue based on personal experience, religious beliefs, or scientific fact?

THINK for yourself.

 

Problem Solving 

  Problems can seem unattainable when another person is involved. Below is an action plan you can use to keep situations from blowing up into a bigger problem and to keep feelings and egos from being hurt. This action plan is one I use and was created from my education and experiences. If you can master the first step of neutralizing your emotions instead of becoming defensive or angry the other steps will be easier because then you are thinking with a clear mind.

  1. Calm your emotions.
  2. Identify the root of the problem.
  3. Control the argument before it escalates.
  4. Find a solution or compromise.
  5. Walk away without burning bridges.

1) Calm Your Emotions. Consciously make a choice to calm yourself and neutralize your emotions. Allowing your emotions to run wild can cause you to become irrational. Focus on the root of the problem, the real issue at hand. In the beginning it is important to not get caught up in drama or all the little points. Focus on the biggest point and go from there. Don’t get caught up in fighting a war. Instead neutralize the battle and turn it into a discussion.

Ask yourself:

  • What do I have at stake?
  • Is this an argument I can win?
  • Do I need to win this time or can I walk away with a loss that won’t ruin everything else?
  • Will this turn into a long term problem?
  • Is it only a problem in the short term?
  • Does this remind me of a problem before that went unresolved?
  • If so, how could I have resolved that problem?

2) Identify The Root. Start by figuring out if the problem is caused by a situation or person. We all have bad days or moods that can cause a simple problem or disagreement to grow into a huge storm. Sometimes we are forced to deal with someone who is either creating a problem or escalating it.

  • Is this situation causing problems?
  • Is a person creating a problem?
  • Is the other person being mean or just reacting to the problem?
  • Is the other person acting difficult and arguing because this is how they solve their problems?
  • Is this a person who is always difficult?
  • Are they in a position of power and used to taking what they want no matter what?
  • Are they purposely making the problem worse?

3) Control the argument or problem from escalating. Start a dialogue. Ask the other person to explain their side instead of simply attacking. Then explain your side. If the person is threatening you it might be time to move to a safe space or a neutral environment. Empathize with the other person instead of opposing them. Ask them questions. Giving someone a chance to explain their story may not be our first instinct so it has both the element of surprise and allows other people to feel like they are being heard.  Not everybody is going to want to talk it out and in that case you need to move on finding a solution, a compromise, or walking away.

  • What do you feel is wrong?
  • Why is this important to you?
  • What do you fear to lose if this doesn’t go your way?
  • Does this remind you of a problem before that went unresolved?
  • If so how could you have solved that problem?
  • Can you control the outcome by changing your view?
  • If this problem does not need to be solved immediately, can you take some time to reach out and ask for assistance?
  • Who are your allies?
  • Who can you ask that is neutral on the subject?
  • Can you find a mediator?
  • Can you ask a supervisor?

4) Find a Solution and Compromise. If you were able to start a dialogue and see the problem from different viewpoints than it is time to find the solution that works best for everyone.

Find a Solution

  • What are all our options?
  • What would be the pros and cons of doing it this way or that way?
  • What if we took part of the problem away? Then could we find a solution to the rest of the problem?
  • Ask each other, what would you do in the other person’s position?
  • How will this solution keep the problem from worsening?

Compromise

Can you find an alternative solution?

Can both of you find something to let go of?

What can we do differently to keep this from happening again?

5) Walk away. Some problems cannot be solved right away. There are times when we or another person aren’t willing to budge. We all have bad days, so don’t be too harsh. On the other hand some people are not willing to find solutions or compromise. If this is the case you may want to walk away and stay clear of them. If both of you have reviewed all the options and cannot agree on a solution or compromise than it is time to take a break.…Continue reading at Bookemon.com

 

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

FIERCE Fridays: It’s Up To YOU!

Impower You

Welcome to week two of sharing excerpts from the book, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. This book is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. They want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure. It is also for women of any age who needs a reminder of how fierce she can be.  My hope is that you will share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or a a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com. Enjoy!

“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” -Hariet Tubman

Book Excerpt: It’s Up To You

  Life is full of changes, whether you like it or not you need to be prepared, and to be prepared you need to have a lot of self love. If you don’t believe in your own capabilities, don’t respect yourself, and feel like you are not good enough than life is going to chew you up and spit you out. Creating a healthy confidence about your body, mind, and spirit allows you to create a strong foundation to clear hurdles and overcome problems.

Start with the very beginning by recognizing that your DNA is like no other. This means you are unique and have something special to offer the world. Healthy bodies are as important as healthy minds. Healthy is not necessarily what the media or culture dictates. A great example is the preoccupation of looking skinny and flawless. Beauty and body image has become overwhelmingly important to women AND men who want to look perfect so they may feel good about themselves and be accepted by both friends and romantic partners. But PERFECT does not exist.

We are human and humans are flawed. It is our nature. Perfection is an abstract idea. We may feel like our hair, nose, toes, arms, stomach or eyes are perfect. Someone else may disagree. That is fine. If we all had the same idea of perfect, looked the same, and felt the same life would be boring.  Love your body! Love that it works. Embrace the fact that you only get one body and you will care for it.

If you feel bad about your body consider how it would feel if you lost an arm or leg. What if you had scars or deformations that really set you apart? Beauty is truly relevant. Design your own idea of beauty because there are so many different ways depending on what you see, feel and have been taught.

Tell negative thoughts to get lost. 

Do you ever call yourself stupid, fat, ugly?

Why would you talk to yourself that way?

Would you be friends with someone who talked that way to you?

YOU are the only one that can truly understand your capabilities, intellect and emotions, so treat yourself right. Negative self talk is a waste of time that brings you down and distracts you from your best talents.

  • What do you love about your body?
  • What do you love about your mind?
  • What do you love about your personality?

There is a lot of talk about how the media influences our thoughts and behaviors.  Body image based on unreal magazine photos is a popular example.  The majority of models and celebrities we idolize and see on the covers of magazines have been altered using photo enhancement tools so they look thinner, skin is as smooth as glass, hair is shinier and skin color is lightened. Why is it so important to look flawless? A young woman, Julia Bluhm, took this cause online by starting a petition to ask Seventeen magazine to stop “perfecting” the models that are used to advertise the latest trends. After 84,000 people signed her signature, the magazine responded with a promise to not change models bodies in photos. *(1)

Despite this success, models continue to be a specific body type which is thin with enough makeup to hide any blemishes or supposed “flaws”. This is only one minor solution to the issue of how we treat our bodies. Lasting change starts with you as an individual.  Take action by being aware of what you say when hanging out with your friends and younger children. We listen to our peers as much as we do the media so what we say does affect those we spend time with. You will get blemishes, you will gain and lose weight, and unless you live on the page of a magazine you will not look perfect all the time.

Ever heard the saying “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”?  It’s possibly the best philosophical statement in the history of the human race. We are more than what we look or how we feel. Love your whole body, every single part. You have a brain with magnificent power. So use it already.

  • Do you want to be an astronaut and study the cosmos?
  • How about become a research scientist who finds a cure for Cancer or Aids?
  • Would you like to invent something to make life easier for people with physical disabilities?
  • Want to create a million dollar fashion line?
  • Is directing or producing movies your dream?

All of those careers require intelligence. You need to learn as much as you can and fill that beautiful brain up with all the information available so you can reach for the stars. We learn how harrrrrd Math or Science is, but really it takes the same brain power as learning language and writing.

Sadly there is a stigma attached to technology subjects as if you have to be a certain type of person to learn Algebra or Biology. Please do not fall into the stereotypical attitude that math and science are for geeks and nerds. Why throw away an opportunity to learn skills that you can use in so many amazing careers? What about creating computer programs and games, curing cancer or AIDS, creating sustainable cheap energy for the world, saving the environment, providing medicine and nutrition for malnourished people, inventing life saving devices used in emergency situations, and unlimited other choices. You don’t have to be a genius to be great at math or science. Educate yourself.

Each and every one of us are born with creative tendencies. Remember coloring and making crafts when you were a child?  That is when we are at our most uninhibited at creating. Later on we begin to compare our artistic capabilities with others and if we aren’t as good we give up. Being creative is an important part of growing. If drawing, painting or sculpture is not your thing then pick up an instrument, write stories and songs, mix music, build model cars and robots, carve wood, or knit.

There are so many ways to be creative and art can also be therapeutic. Art is used as a tool for meditation because it allows you to rest your mind and take your focus off of stressful day to day activities. Creativity is not just about painting a portrait that sells for thousands of dollars. When you turn a plain object into something beautiful or useful, then you are increasing your brain power by challenging yourself. In his book, Imagine, Jonah Lehrer says that “Once we know how creativity works, we can make it work for us”. *(2) So go be creative and see what artistic talents you possess… Continue reading at Bookemon.com

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment

FIERCE Fridays: Introduction

Impower You

In honor of my recently published book, over the next few months Fridays will be devoted to excerpts from, Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment. I wrote this as a follow up to More Than Just a Girl with all the information I didn’t add in there. It was written to inform and empower tween and teen girls. Where as Fierce is for those who have a desire to get the most out of life. They want to make positive change, but are not sure how to make it happen. It is for young women who will soon be out of high school and on their way to college or some other adventure.  My hope is that you will share these posts with all the girls and women in your life. Let them know the book can be read for free online or a a soft cover book is available for sale at Bookemon.com.

Fierce: A New Generation of Female Empowerment, feminist books for teenage girls

Fierce is more than just girl power and aggression. It is a state of being that allows anyone to shine. The book starts with problem solving and critical thinking skills, tools we all need to survive no matter our gender, race or class. Then it delves into important issues such as women’s rights, health, violence prevention, education, and activism. Every section has examples of positive role models to look up to and questions to ponder. It concludes with resources and references so readers can decide for themselves how they can use their inner fierce female to survive.  This first post includes the introduction to my book.  It would mean so much to me if you left a comment below.

Danger has been a part of my life ever since I picked up a pen and wrote. Nothing is more perilous than truth in a world that lies. -Nawal El Saadawi

Book Excerpt: Introduction

  It is time for girls to stop believing in this so called “Girl Power” the mass media is selling us, our families and our cultures. It is not power, but simply a play on feminism used to sell products. The media is not just here for our entertainment, but rather exists to make a profit. It sells whatever new trend is around. There is such a thing as girl power, but it is not simultaneously playing sports and looking sexy or being a millionaire actress and fashion icon. Just like being a man isn’t limited to using violence and authority to get what they want, being a woman is not limited to aspiring to be the prettiest and most popular to get what we want. It is time to be fierce and fight for a world where equality, truth and knowledge are our most cherished qualities.

This book is a guide to show you the different ways you can be fierce by focusing on what is important to you. Live in a way so that when you get knocked down you know inside that you are capable of recovering and continuing on your own journey. You have the power to be a changemaker. It is possible to make a difference in our world and isn’t only for those with immense wealth or celebrity status.

This is a collection of information and resources so you can empower yourself and then empower others. It is information that I learned first hand as well as from watching others live their lives and make changes that I never knew were possible. This book may not change your life, but my hope is that it gives you a new way to look at the world. I want you to see a world where each and every one of us has the power to create positive change in our communities and the world as well as have basic information about health and rights. Decide for yourself what you use from this book and live life in a way that makes you feel good about your choices.

Each section has questions for you to ponder. Learning to follow or lead is often included with doing so blindly. The problem with doing what is expected without question is that we lose an opportunity to find new solutions and to progress. To be a fierce woman is to overcome your fears of asking and wondering what if. What if we try a different method? What will happen if things change? What if I try and fail?  You will fail, it is inevitable. Learn to fail with an open mind and you will learn to succeed in a different way.

Yes, women and other oppressed minorities have made great strides toward equality. It is fantastic that those who were once oppressed and considered second class citizens or not even human have made strides in many countries.

We have abilities such as our right to vote, to become officials in the government, to not be owned, to have a career other than motherhood or servants, and to choose a life we want. In addition to these advancements, we need to continue moving forward. Girls are not sugar and spice or princesses and drama queens. We are aggressive, strong, independent thinkers.

We are as capable as any man. Let’s celebrate these victories, but be aware that we still have a long time until equality for all exists all the time.

Aggressive doesn’t mean you have to be loud, pushy, manipulative, or dominating. You can be quiet and reserved and still be a leader. Leaders are a mix of firm decision making, listening to everybody’s ideas, and knowledge. People who only yell or those who are afraid to speak up are not ideal leaders. We naturally follow charismatic leaders and this is a good thing because in some situations hope and instant results is what we need to survive. However the danger in leading with no fear AND no knowledge is that you only can go so far or go in the wrong direction. It is important to educate yourself before making a decision.

Be aggressive by educating yourself and using that knowledge to stand firm in the face of doubters and haters. Don’t bow down to someone just because they act tough. As women we must learn to stand up and speak up. Rosa Parks was a leader. She was a quiet person who decided that she had experienced enough abuse and would no longer stand for it. She did not yell or throw punches; by sitting on that bus she made a statement of passive resistance. And it worked.

Strong isn’t just about being the smartest, fastest or biggest. Inner strength to overcome our fears and anxieties is inside each of us. We just have to learn to be aware of this fact. Become aware of your unique talents and gifts. Use those to make it through each day and to fight for injustice. The sayings, “Lead by example”, “Be the change you want to see” or “Be a good role model” are all similar.

Telling people what to do sometimes works, but mostly breeds resentment or creates blind followers, aka sheeple. On the other hand showing how or encouraging people to do things and letting them see the results creates lasting change that is made by another person. So to be a strong leader, lead by example and create the positive change our world needs.

We also need to be independent. This is not just about being able to travel alone or have a job and pay our own bills. It is about thinking without a group or traditional mindset. We live in a world with billions of ideas forced on us everyday. What is right or wrong for you will often be different than another. We are told what we should think about sex and how we look to what we should believe and who we should love or hate.

Educate yourself and be open to what is different. When you have an opportunity to learn something new than give it all you got. You may feel nervous or ill equipped at first, but once you get used to an activity it becomes easier…. Continue reading at Bookemon.com.