I see a lot of people self hating and putting themselves down. This isn’t something new, but since until last year that was MY favorite activity it seems especially poignant now that I am aware of how often I participated in this useless action. I constantly stop myself from thinking or saying anything negative about myself or my situation. I just cannot do it anymore. There is nothing THAT bad or THAT wrong with me. Sure I have flaws, so what? I have a lot more strengths. All around me are victims who focus on their flaws. Here’s a wild and crazy idea, let’s remember what is good instead of all this focus on what we perceive as wrong. Because it is a perception. Whether we feel too fat, or too dumb, or too (insert your flaws here) is relevant to what we choose to think.
I have met a few incredibly ignorant people and dangerously overweight people. The key here is “A FEW”. Very few. Most people I meet are so intelligent or at least average. The majority of people I know are not even close to fat. So where is all this self hate coming from? Why the alarm over misguided beliefs?
Favor your strengths. Do it because you can and because you deserve to feel good about yourself. Do it to show the next generation how much life improves after we stop trying to be perfect. The best way to get rid of self hate is to stop cold turkey. Just stop saying or thinking anything bad about yourself.
I heard my friends 11 year old yesterday say she wished she was skinny like the girls in her tween clothing catalog. I asked her not to be one of those people because she was more than how she looked. I really did not know what else to say. She is only 11 after all. I have already told her about airbrushed models in magazines. I hope she understands and I hope she can remember to always favor her strengths.
WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?
WHAT ABOUT YOU IS GOOD, GREAT, AMAZING?
HOW CAN YOU FOCUS ON THOSE AND GROW IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION?
Individual Empowerment 
I often wonder that when my friend complains about her weight while her young daughter is standing next to her, much heavier. I often find myself changing the conversation or giving them both compliments that are not health related. Usually though I find myself just asking her outright to not complain because she is at a very healthy weight.
After the devastating the loss of a friend and injury I had a lot of time to think. Everything that I knew, but was not practicing became much more in focus. I took actions like publishing my book for young women, pursuing my art and changing careers. These allowed me a chance to see that I am amazing and why was I wasting my time with actions that accentuated my weaknesses. Instead I began to use my strengths and grow. It took a lot of work and I still wake up each morning to remind myself what I am capable of.
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Great post. My little sister’s friend (age 12) said the other day she thought she was too fat to be pretty. Broke my heart. The kid is much thinner than I or my sister and neither of us are over-weight. And how is that supposed to sound to their friends that weigh more than them but are still not fat by any means? It’s so sad.
What personally changed for you last year that you changed?
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Thanks.
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Nicely put.
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Absolutely.
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Yes. I like the end quote of “so wonder our perception of beauty is distorted”.
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excellent call for each of us to look at ourselves a bit differently than we normally do. Playing to your strengths is so much more empowering than always trying to change a “weakness”.
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Leah, check out this Dove Evolution video. Have you seen it already?http://youtu.be/iYhCn0jf46U
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