What is in an Apology?

According to the Huffington Post (and about a dozen other news outlets), Sandra Fluke is not so quick to except the apology from Rush Limbaugh for calling he a “slut” and  “prostitute” among other insinuations. I have to agree that his apology seems a bit phony.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/sandra-fluke-addresses-ru_n_1321357.html

Usually I can except an apology and move on.  I don’t like to dwell on negativity or live in the past. However an apology that comes from pressure instead of remorse is pointless. When you are quick to take back something you so vehemently stood for, than it can easily be called into question that you are lying. If you really want an apology to carry weight it works best if you take action to back it up.

It’s okay to tell that person that you don’t accept their apology. If you feel wronged and you cannot let go, that is your choice.  If people tell you that you should continue to be angry and you want to move on, it is okay. You and only you can decide what to fight for and when to move on.

When are you able to let go?  When do you feel that it is better to continue to argue?

🙂

9 comments

  1. Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

    1. That’s an interesting suggestion. I don’t care as much as I used to about being right. I can see myself apologizing if the person was more important to me than the argument.
      Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks for sharing. It is nice to hear a mans opinion on the situation.
    I think Obama just sealed a vote with lots of women based on his call to Ms. Fluke. He definitely set a good example of how to treat people.

  3. It really upset me to see Sandra Fluke be degraded the way she was. It hurts to think that there are men who sink to this level of disrespect towards women. And the GOP hopefuls I feel are cowards for not forcing a strong rebuke of Rush Limbaugh comments. This was not an apology. An apology is what President Obama gave her–for all the men who found this appalling. He was compassionate and thoughtful. He was a man.

    1. Thanks for sharing. It is nice to hear a mans opinion on the situation.
      I think Obama just sealed a vote with lots of women based on his call to Ms. Fluke.

  4. Actions are more profound than what anyone can say. Rush is only sorry he lost sponsors. This young lady is young enough to be his daughter. Why spew so much anger rather than have a conversation. Like so many men, he knows nothing about female health issues, which is why he’s lost 33 sponsors. If we’re really lucky, others will follow suit.

    1. Thanks for chiming in. He seems like a very angry person and I don’t know why any business would want to sponsor his hateful views.
      He is a great example of a bully taken down a few notches. Accepting what seems to be an insincere apology would just feed his sense of control. I am proud of her for setting a good example to be strong.

  5. To me, an apology is provided in hopes of being forgiven by the person you slighted or hurt. Before giving an apology, we need to ask ourself, “Does my action deserve forgiveness?” Sometimes we simply shouldn’t burden someone we hurt with the decision to forgive us or not. God can deal with us. (And GOD meaning whoever or whatever we believe in to be our GOD.) I learned this the hard way. Sometimes people just want to dislike our actions and us for a while. Let them. Don’t pressure them with a bogus apology or even a genuine one right away. As far as letting go of the anger, it takes time. Each of us have different degrees at which we absorb and process anger.

    1. That’s a great point Paula. I stopped myself once from apologizing to someone who was n longer speaking to me. I decided that whether or not they needed to forgive me probably was not worth having me in their life again.

      Apologies are certainly relevant to each of our personalities and situations.

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