Month: February 2012

Empowering Discussions

More Refreshing Than an Ice Cold Soda.

Impower You

What is more refreshing than an ice cold soda on a hot summer day?   Honesty and Wonder.

Wherever  I turn there are lies, manipulation and drama. It is popular to be bad and cause drama. Why? Drama equals great ratings which in turn equals lots of money.  Ahh, greed.  It has yet to go out of style. Who can amass the most!  Let’s make lots of money so we can buy shiny things and go cool places.   But I am going off subject a bit.  Greed is just a crappy little byproduct of dishonesty.

Soda! Pffft,  I mean who even knows what’s in that stuff? Oh, well… actually I do, and it is not pretty.  What refreshes me these days?  Honesty, open minds, acceptance, love that is given without any thing expected in return. Ten years ago I would have rolled my eyes at this post or just passed it by. I would think, “I am not greedy because I want lots of money for shiny things. I am not into drama, I simply make life interesting. I don’t lie, I embellish so people will like me more. I am like everyone else”.  Well, it turns out that yea, I was greedy and I could never buy enough shiny things to refresh, I couldn’t tell enough lies to impress. I couldn’t get enough of the drama.  But now…..  now I want something that will last forever, that will not go away just because my situation is not ideal.

A lot has happened in 1o years. I  learned more about the world. I fell in love and lost. I saw friends die. I rid myself of people that did not treat me well. I overcame tragedy that I thought would break me forever.  But who hasn’t had this happen? These are not uncommon events.  They paved the way for me to stop and think why I wasn’t happy. I started to look around at the wonders in places I had forgotten or never known.  I learned that the game of life I was playing wasn’t the one that made me happy. I needed a new board, but didn’t know where to get one.  Change did not happen overnight. I made mistakes, I continue to make mistakes.  The difference now, is that I pay attention. I know what I am worth. I am worth a lot, more than you can see with your eyes. You’d have to spend a lot of time with me to see how much I am worth.

I do not feed the drama monster. I do not get involved with people that are angry. I do not lie. When I read, hear or see honesty I feel so happy. I makes me feel like despite all that is wrong, it will be okay.  I do not need to lie others. I don’t need to invent stories or embellish to get what I want.  Manipulation is not part of my day. Drama is not as entertaining to me as humor and kindness and the amazement this world has to offer.  Instead of being bored I ask questions. What can I do now that will bring me joy?  How can I improve this situation? What wonder will greet me today?

Today I feel refreshed because I found wonder in this world. 

What refreshes you? What is better than an ice cold soda on a hot summer day?

🙂

Book Reviews

You Matter

Impower You

I have posted before about abusive relationships and I will no doubt post in the future.  Let me make this very clear for those of you who don’t get it.  You matter! You deserve to be treated like the wonderful person you are. You deserve to be loved.

I like this book that can be used for FEMALES AND MALES!  “”Ditch That Jerk: Dealing with Men Who Control and Hurt Women” by Pamela Jayne.  Look for it at your local library or it is available on Amazon, http://www.amazon.com/Ditch-That-Jerk-Dealing-Control/dp/0897932838

Being aware of controlling and abusive behavior gives you the power to run your life, but also saves you a lot of grief.  How many people have you met in life that were rude, mean or abusive?  I have met hundreds.  I am related to men and yes WOMEN who are abusive to their partners, children, friends and strangers.  Often they were very charming towards me, but then I learned about things they did to those with whom they had a lot of contact.

Please believe me when I say that whatever wrongs you have done in your past (rapists, abusers and child molesters not included) you DO NOT deserve to be treated badly by someone who says they love you.  You were not born useless or stupid or pathetic. Those are just the sort of things mean people say or imply to control you.  Don’t believe them.

Kick abusive, manipulative, controlling losers out of your life and do not under any circumstances turn around to give them a second chance. Love does not hurt. Love is not pain. Love is not suffering. Love is not obeying.

Love is beauty.  Love feels good. Love is comfort. Love is respect. Love is good.

“You matter. You do not have to put up with people who treat you badly.”

🙂

Book Reviews, Empowering Discussions

Anger and Stress Management

Impower You

Anger is a healthy emotion, but when you act out violently it becomes unhealthy. Violence can be expressed in an emotional or physical way. Only you can take control of your anger and choose not to lash out at other people. Take the time to think about what is upsetting you.
Ask yourself questions.
What part of this situation is making me feel so angry?
Is there another reason, maybe a previous situation that is causing me to react angrily right now?
What peaceful actions can I take to change this situation?


An affirmation can help you control your emotions in a bad situation. When you create an affirmation use positive words that reflect your goal. Leave out negative words like never, no, against or stop. Replace those with words like always, yes, for and go. Create your own or use the affirmation below. Repeat as needed.

MY THOUGHTS ARE PEACEFUL THOUGHTS
MY WORDS ARE PEACEFUL WORDS
MY ACTIONS ARE PEACEFUL ACTIONS

When you feel angry try these tips to CALM DOWN.
Walk away from the situation.
Take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. Repeat this step until you feel calm.
Talk to someone you trust. It can be a teacher, mentor, friend or family member.
Count backwards to refocus your concentration. This will give you time to think of what to do next.
Keep a journal and write how you are feeling. Keep track of what upset you and how you dealt with your anger.

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE HOW YOU ACT!

This doesn’t mean that you should ignore your feelings or pretend that you are okay when you are not.  This is advice to help you cope with bad situations in a empowered manner. This blog post is an excerpt from my book, “I Am More Than Just a Girl” available at morethanagirl.webs.com

What advice for stress or anger has been helpful to you? Please share in the comment box below.

🙂

Book Reviews, I Am More Than Just a Girl Book

You are Beautiful – book excerpt

Impower You

Go to the mirror right now and tell your reflection you love her.

Say clearly and out loud “I LOVE YOU”.

Love your body, it’s the only one you have. Be grateful for your body. Tell yourself that you are beautiful. Say clearly and out loud “I AM BEAUTIFUL”.

There are images everywhere of how people are supposed to look. You see models and movie stars with perfectly smooth skin, skinny bodies, wearing revealing clothing, painfully high heels and a gallon of makeup. This is only one idea of beauty. It is not real though. It is an illusion. You are being sold a way of looking and told you will only be beautiful if you look that way. It is just not true. You are beautiful. Look around you at your family, friends and strangers on the street. What do you see? Do you see perfection or do you see people who look different and beautiful? We are all beautiful in our own unique packaging.
We have different skin colors, heights, weights, hair colors, and textures. We have scars, some of us have lost limbs or lost hair, but we are still beautiful. We are not all shaped the same way. Some of us are very curvy, some of us not so much. We like to dress in colorful scarves, jeans, skirts, boots, sandals, T-shirts! We are casual, elegant, messy. We stand out! Beauty is up to you, the individual. It is what you see and love. We create our own definition that belongs to each us and it is not the same.
Don’t believe that you have to look a certain way to be beautiful.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL no matter what anyone says.

Read more from my book here: MoreThanAGirl.webs.com

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE FEATURES?  WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR BODY?

🙂

Empowering Discussions

The Most Inspiring Young Woman of 2012!

Impower You

I met Jaz Gray online when she was hosting a pajama drive for children with long stays in the hospital and also children at homeless shelters. At the time she was still in High School. What I didn’t know about Jaz at first is that she has AVM, Arteriovenous Malformation.  Now she has graduated from college and is making a documentary about AVM. One that will have you cheering and crying at the same time.

More Than Skin Deep documents the lives and the research being done about AVM. This life threatening birth defect affects hundreds of thousand of people around the world. It causes health problems ranging from disfigurement to death. Jaz herself has undergone 32 surgeries to stay alive. She is not afraid to share her story and show her face to millions of people. Just the opposite, she has a strength that is most often only seen in people who have suffered the most. Aside from the dangers of AVM, there is also the obvious differences that you see when you first meet Jaz. Her face doesn’t look like you’d expect from a vibrant, happy compassionate young woman. In a society that is so obsessed with outer beauty it can be terribly hard to look different. Despite the unacceptable judgments from others Jaz is determined to live her life with pride, beauty and compassion.

As a recent college graduate, she cannot afford to produce this documentary alone so she and her wonderful team are raising funds on Indie Go Go, a social fundraising website.   Every “donation” is accompanied with a prize. There are two easy ways you can help, give a donation and spread the word.

Visit the Indie Go Go Campaign Page and use the share buttons to help her story travel to all the right people. Send an email and introduce this amazing person to your family and friends. Or if possible consider donating $ to her campaign. There are amazing incentives like autographed posters, film credits and ebooks.

I personally funded $5 for her campaign because I know nothing will stop Jaz from following through on her dreams.   Please share this post on every social site you belong to.

………

Jaz is also a part of our 500 Blog-Raiser Challenge.  Check out her post here: http://morethanskindeepmovie.webs.com/apps/blog/show/12041194-fiercely-unpretty

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Empowering Discussions

WWYD? What Will You Do?

Impower You

I was browsing Care2.com and found some inspiring and disturbing articles.

INSPIRED! A breath of fresh air or at least fresher than before will be felt now that the EPA “announced new protections from mercury pollution from power plants on Wednesday, December 21, 2011″. 

As a proponent of clean air, land and water this makes me happy. It is a step in the right direction. As long as we use electricity from toxic substances there will be pollution. One day I would love a world where everything is sustainable and the planet is clean. It will probably not happen until  my great great great grandchildren are here, but I am willing to speak my voice and take actions to ensure a clean future does happen. Read more: http://www.care2.com/causes/success-epa-announces-new-protection-from-mercury-pollution.html#ixzz1kyGlSDPT Pass on the good news.

DISTURBING! Should we go back to hanging people?  Well not literally, we can just shoot them up with  poison and watch them die. At least that is what Larry Pittman wants to do. “If murderers (and I would include abortionists, rapists, and kidnappers, as well) are actually executed, it will at least have the deterrent effect upon them.”

I cannot ever put murderers, rapists and abortionists  in the same category. Rape is about control and violence.  Murder, unless in self defense, is a violent cruel act. Abortion is about personal choice and or life saving decisions for mothers.  Of all the pressing problems of our world, what a woman does with her body is not part of it. Impowered people do not tell other people what to do with their bodies.  http://www.care2.com/causes/north-carolina-gop-public-hanging-for-abortionists.html#ixzz1kyEasOhv Decide for yourself.

What I love about Care2.com is that you can be a part of a better world.  Sign petitions, send letters to senators, call your politicians, start a movement!  Do whatever you can to make a positive difference.

Impowered people take positive actions that create positive outcomes.

Impowered people find peaceful non-violent solutions.

Will you share an article about something that inspired you and or disturbed you?  Forget WWJD. WWYD? (What Will You Do?)

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